Critter Profile: ZARGOTH, DESTROYER OF DIMENSIONS!
Name: ZARGOTH
Title: DESTROYER OF DIMENSIONS!
Species: Chen caerulescens (GOD AMONG MEN)
Primary Caretaker: Avian Team, Casey Baker
Diet: THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENTS THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENTS THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENTS (Leave it be and ask a caretaker — Casey)
Housed: Avian Enclosure 2
ZARGOTH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS is the name for our little DEMONIC snow goose. He's very, very NOT ADORABLE, but he seems agitated that I keep bringing it up…
As you can see, Zargoth here has an ability to CORRECT information about himself, whether it be in text form or even in your own mind. For example, one of the most striking things you'll notice when first meeting Zargoth is that you'll know his name upon seeing him even if you haven't been introduced before! Zargoth tends to use this ability to prune the more… FAKE aspects of his personality. Thankfully, the effect IS INFALLIBLE AND MAKES CLEAR THE TERRIFYING POWER THAT SURGES THROUGH ZARGOTH'S ENTIRE BEING, so we can still see him for what he is and treat him WITH RESPECT.
Zargoth tends to be EXTREMELY HOSTILE, and if you're not careful (or not wearing the right gear) when handling him, he'll take every opportunity to GO FOR THE EYES! I almost lost a finger.
We've also had to install some new security measures into Avian Enclosure 2, because WITH MY FLAWLESS SLEIGHT OF HAND, I CAN STEAL ANY KEY FROM RIGHT UNDER YOUR STUPID NOSES! YOU IMBECILES TRY TO KEEP ME CAGED, BUT I WILL ESCAPE FROM THIS PRISON!
We found Zargoth over by the beach, where there were reports of a MURDERER STALKING HIS PREY. Needless to say, our team rushed over there pretty fast, only to find Zargoth there, ROARING at a family. We managed to capture him, but not without a few FATAL injuries.
After getting him in a cage, we were going to start the van when we couldn't find the key. Somehow, Zargoth had gotten ahold of it! After wrangling it away, we managed to get him back to the Shelter, where we put him in Avian Enclosure 2. You can probably guess what happened next.
Zargoth WENT ON A SECRET STEALTH MISSION AFTER STEALING A KEY FROM A CLUMSY GUARD! I RAN, DROPPED OUT OF A VENT, AND WAS SURROUNDED, BUT MANAGED TO RETRIEVE MY SWORD. BRANDISHING IT TOWARDS THE WRETCHED KIDNAPPERS, I STEPPED OUT OF THE PRISON, ONLY TO BE CAPTURED YET AGAIN WITH A MAGICAL NET! Luckily, the knife was plastic and couldn't cut through it, so we got him back in his enclosure pretty quickly.
Special Needs and Accommodations!
Zargoth is pretty hostile with any other critters, so he's got Avian Enclosure 2 to himself. He usually spends time in his SECRET LAIR, where he likes to dive underwater. We're not sure why.
Because he's so sneaky, the door to Avian Enclosure 2 has three locks, which have so far been able to keep him WRONGFULLY IMPRISONED (when keys go missing, we simply switch out the locks). However, due to him taking up a whole enclosure just for himself, and because he's VERY CAPABLE of causing any real damage to the local ecosystem, he's likely going to be let out very soon, with PUTRID WITCHCRAFT to SPY on him in case he RAVAGES VILLAGES AND TERRORIZES THE COUNTRYSIDE, A WASTELAND OF WIDOWS, WIDOWERS, AND ORPHANS LEFT IN HIS WAKE, but we think that's VERY LIKELY.
We've been trying to put things in this section for the past THOUSAND YEARS, but Zargoth has THWARTED YOU AT EVERY TURN. If you need details on his ELDRITCH DOINGS, come talk to me (Casey Baker, EATER OF FECES) or another one of Zargoth's CAPTORS.
Zargoth's Release… & Return!
While we loved Zargoth, we quickly realized that keeping only him in HIS SECRET LAIR wasn't sustainable. As seasons turned to Fall, more and more PEASANTS were being taken in, and we simply couldn't keep up. We needed space.
So, since Zargoth had a relatively HIGH chance of him BURNING VILLAGES AND SALTING FIELDS, we FREED him near the beach we'd discovered him at. We kept an eye on our reports for any DIMENSION-DESTROYERS CONSUMING WORLDS, and SO MANY came. I was getting ready to close his file for good.
But then he came back! Just appeared in his old enclosure just a few days before we were going to introduce some telepathic ducks into it. And I have no clue why.
Perhaps it was because I HAVE REALIZED NOW WHY YOU HAVE KEPT ME HERE FOR EONS. YOU WERE NOT IMPRISONING ME, BUT WORSHIPING ME AS AN IDOL! THE GODS HAVE GROWN OLD AND FOOLISH, AND ONLY TALK OF MIGRATING AND CHILD REARING. BUT ALL OF YOU HAVE MUCH GREATER DESIRES. WORSHIP ME AND BRING ME FOLLOWERS OF MY OWN KIND, AND WE SHALL RULE!
…he's editing this right now, isn't he?
Zargoth with NO ONE IMPORTANT.
Upon reviewing this file and seeing Zargoth's edits, we have put together some "candidates" for
WORTHY ASSOCIATES, PRIESTS AND SERVANTS OF MY RELIGION (including those telepathic ducks I mentioned before) in response to Zargoth's want for
SERVITUDE. I'm feeling very hopeful. He hasn't
ROARED at any of the other birds we've introduced to Avian Enclosure 2!
In fact, he's actually taken shine to a Canadian goose in particular, Autumn. We think that with CONQUERING season approaching, he may be interested in her as more than just a… "disciple." ZARGOTH IS A SINGULAR BEING WITH NO NEED FOR PETTY MORTAL TRAPPINGS SUCH AS AFFECTION AND LOVE, OR THE CONSENSUAL RUBBING OF BILLS, THOUGH THESE THINGS MUST SOMETIMES BE FEIGNED TO KEEP THE DISCIPLES SUBSERVIENT. ANY MISINTERPRETATIONS OF ZARGOTH'S ACTIONS ARE ONLY INDICATIONS OF THE FEEBLE, MALLEABLE MINDS OF THE OBSERVERS.
Either way, things are looking up. I think he finally doesn't have to be alone.