"Warning, warning … two idiots are reading the SCP files over the intercom. Please cover your ears and await further instructions."
Site-22 emergency transmission, originally sent out 07/03/2020.

Image uploaded to the Site-22 central archives. Note lack of artistic skill.
Incident Report XK70: On 07/03/2020, two hostile entities — presumed anomalous in nature — breached the defenses of Site-22 and infiltrated the central archives.
Following this breach, the two entities hijacked the site-wide announcement system and began reading a number of classified files over it, commenting on and discussing the subject matter contained within said files. Analysis of recordings of the conversations between the two entities suggest that the first — referred to as 'Tanhony' — is significantly more familiar with the files, while the second — referred to as 'Darnell' — appears to be learning of the objects, entities and phenomena described for the first time.
Attempts to extract these entities from the Site-22 archive room have thus far proven unsuccessful.
Addendum XK70-1 (Recording Archive):
In order to fully uncover the nature of the entities residing within the Site-22 archives, all conversations between the two have been recorded and submitted for analysis. A full archive is available below:
Recording Name Description Links Episode 1: "The Horrors of Dr. Tanhony" In Episode 1 of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell read through an introduction to the Foundation, SCP-173, SCP-087 and SCP-055, all with the utmost seriousness. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/about-the-scp-foundation
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-173 - Moto42
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-087 - Zaeyde
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-055 - qntm
Recording Name Description Links Episode 2: "ƥíśš" In Episode 2 of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell learn about me, the history the MAN doesn't want you to know, and one shy boy. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-426 - Flah
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-140 - AssertiveRoland
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-096 - DrDan
Recording Name Description Links Episode 3: "This Bird Is Gonna Eat The Whole World…" Crosstesting madness! In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell check out some clockworks, a weird pen, the O5 Council's highest priority and one robot dude… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-914 - far2
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-067 - FritzWillie
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-085 - FritzWillie
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-846 - Tanhony
Recording Name Description Links Episode 4: "YOU DID WHAT" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell collect some neat toys and become Mr. Podcast! Also, they read a neat book about the stars. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-909 - Salman Corbette
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-905 - Salman Corbette
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-917 - Dexanote
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-920 - Salman Corbette
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-527 - djkaktus
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1425 - Silberescher
Recording Name Description Links Episode 5: "Darnell Wins The Oscar" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell go to church and have a fun time with clocks. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-882 - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-217 - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-271 - Noaqiyeum
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-629 - Roget
Recording Name Description Links Episode 6: "Agent Michaels' Bizarre Adventure" In this episode, we investigate a gross old man and some funny red dogs. Also, Tanhony unveils the worst voice thus far. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-106 - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-939 - Adam Smascher
Recording Name Description Links Episode 7: "peenut buter funy" Tanhony and Darnell read about some lizard, as well as two of the most horrifying monsters the Foundation has to offer. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682 - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-053 - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-999 - ProfSnider
Recording Name Description Links Episode 8: "animal crossing…" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell discover [DATA EXPUNGED], the truth behind Tom Nook, and a great new production coming to Broadway! Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-231 - DrClef
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-962 - Anaxagoras
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-701 - tinwatchman
Recording Name Description Links Episode 9: "hee hee" Tanhony and Darnell finally reach SCP-1000! They also check out a wholesome teddy bear, a pretty long arm and a mysterious authorless SCP… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1000 - thedeadlymoose
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1193 - ophite
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1048 - trennerdios
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1312 - Tanhony
Recording Name Description Links Episode 10: "Take Him Away" In Episode 10 of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell take a look at some shooty boys, you are a fish, and engage in complex political discourse. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1609 - Rioghail
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1370 - Sorts
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1522 - FlameShirt
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1839 - Salman Corbette
Recording Name Description Links Episode 11: "Tanhony's Treehouse of Terror" In this episode, Tanhony finally opens the 'Tales' section of the wiki and also learns how to count past zero. To, uh, to get to 'one'. Because we read a 001 proposal, so it's like I learned to count. This one didn't quite work, did it? Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/document-recovered-from-the-marianas-trench - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/revised-entry - FullHazard
http://www.scp-wiki.net/clockwork-time - Dr Gears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-gears-s-proposal - Dr Gears
Recording Name Description Links Episode 12: "Bible Studies" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell check out an anime edgelord, his cool brother, and Marvel’s Iris™. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-076 - Kain Pathos Crow
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-073 - Kain Pathos Crow
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-105 - Lt Masipag
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-076-2 - DrClef
Recording Name Description Links Episode 13: "Killhell 2: Now It's Hell" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell discover the TRUE power behind the Cassie Council, four other podcasts from other universes, one weak boi, and the inspiration behind the popular anime Sword Art Online. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/ethics-committee-orientation by Voct
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1437 by Tanhony
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1364 by Faminepulse
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1633 by TedlyAnderson
Recording Name Description Links Episode 14: "Crab ACTIVATED" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell check out what Big Mail doesn't want you to know about, the worst pleasure cruise in history, the world's saddest poker champion and the original bouncer. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1269 - Wilt and Zyn
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1861 - PeppersGhost
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1440 - Dmatix
http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-clef-s-proposal - DrClef
Recording Name Description Links Episode 15: "Stardust Crusaders" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell go around the world and check out articles from four of the SCP Foundation's international branches! Youtube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1340-ru - Arbelict, translated by LanceRadioactive
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-040-jp - Ikr_4185, translated by Tanija
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-es-105 - morhadow
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-281-fr - DrGemini, translated by DrMacro and LtFlops
Recording Name Description Links Episode 16: "Spooky Nukey" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell travel back through time to the Cold War, taking a look at a non-funi statue, a nervous nuke, George Lucas' magnum opus and the villain of Metal Gear Solid 6. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1011 - VAElynx
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1178 - Roget
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1514 - Anborough
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1984 - Kalinin
Recording Name Description Links Episode 17: "BIG BORYS HOURS" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell are joined by fan of the show Boro610 as they take a look at a racist alien, the article that will turn PETA against the wiki, an original character (do not steal), and a new episode of the X-Files. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1171 - DrEverettMann
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1459 - PeppersGhost
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1447 - SRegan
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scantron-s-proposal - Communism Will Win
Recording Name Description Links Episode 18: "Here Be Dragons (and Basketball, and Fish, and some Birds)" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell check out their first Explained article, a recording of a classic basketball game, one wacky room of surprises and a happy-go-lucky tale of how the dragons won it all! Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2600-ex - Roget
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1733 - bbaztek
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1782 - faminepulse
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1762 - OZ Ouroboros
Recording Name Description Links Episode 19: "Tanhony Destroys His Throat" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell head to the Podcast Mills to find out all about the group of interest known as the Factory… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-248 - Sir Mize
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-750 - sabitsuki
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-958 - TwistedGears
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-748 - Metaphysician
Recording Name Description Links Episode 20: "Bites the Dust" In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read some SCPs. In this episode, Tanhony and Darnell read Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1377 - Kalinin
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1500 - Anaxagoras
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1422 - Communism Will Win
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2000 - HammerMaiden
Recording Name Description Links Episode 21: "Sending Our Love Down The Well" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell (temporarily stuck inside a well) investigate a bear trap, a duck trap, a paperclip trap and a bear trap. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2365 - psul
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2384 - Tanhony
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2844 - djkaktus
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2875 - djkaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 22: "Real True History" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell travel back through time and meet a number of wacky characters! Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-186 - Kalinin
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2776 - DJKaktus
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2264 - Metaphysician
Recording Name Description Links Episode 23: "THE ART ZONE" In this episode, we finally reach the Art Zone. Also, we check out a big ball of meta, Swordtown USA, and the closest thing the SCP wiki will get to just using Cthulhu. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2747 - minmin
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2200 - PeppersGhost
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2662 - SoullessSingularity
Recording Name Description Links Episode 24: "The Dreaded Return of Agent Michaels" As the SCP Foundation begins their siege of Tanhony Tower, Tanhony and Darnell read about an empty attic, a place that was once a library, and a world where everyone in the world went to the store for cigarettes at the exact same time… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2740 - DJKaktus
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2602 - CWW
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2935 - DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 25: "Oh Deer" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell check out half of a cat, a child-friendly clown, a non-child-friendly laugh guy, and one mean deer. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-529 - Lt Masipag
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-993 - Tanhony
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2030 - PeppersGhost
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2845 - Djoric
Recording Name Description Links Episode 26: "What Happened To Site-13? (Part 1)" In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell go deep underground with a bunch of short-lived MTF members and some leeches. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1730 - DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 27: "What Happened To Site-13? (Part 2)" Tanhony and Darnell continue their journey into Site-13, and Tanhony turns his throat to actual ash. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1730 - DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 27B: "Avengers Endgame" Tanhony and Darnell scramble to put together some content at the last minute, and the mysteries of SCP-5000 are finally revealed… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-789-j - Salman Corbette
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-031-j - Salman Corbette
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2000-j - Salman Corbette and Tanhony
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-botnik-j - PeppersGhost
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-j - CWW
Recording Name Description Links Episode 28: "What Happened To Site-13? (Part 3) (Ft. DJKaktus)" Tanhony, Darnell and DJKaktus embark on the final part of the grand SCP-1730 adventure. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1730 - DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 29: "Superfriends" Tanhony and Darnell scour the SCP Wiki for warriors to join their superhero team. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2872 - Freudian
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2599 - Weizhong
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2800 - Weizhong
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2852 - Kinchtheknifeblade
Recording Name Description Links Episode 30: "The Flesh That Loves" Tanhony and Darnell begin reading about a conflict between some meaty boys and some mechy boys. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-610 - NekoChris
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2599 - Metaphysician
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2800 - Ihp
Recording Name Description Links Episode 31: "Tik-Tok" Tanhony and Darnell continue to read about how Best God MEKHANE and The Other Guy have influenced human history… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2309 - Univine
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2307 - Ihp
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2399 - DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 32: "Zafe (ft. Roget)" Tanhony, Darnell and special guest Roget reminisce about the good old days in high school… Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-332 - Roget
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1976 - Roget
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1423 - Roget
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1833 - Roget
Recording Name Description Links Episode 33: "La Paz, The Peace" Tanhony and Darnell dive into some big machine lore - and Darnell reveals his knowledge of geography. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/twistedgears-kaktus-proposal - TwistedGears and DJKaktus
Recording Name Description Links Episode 34: "Animal Crossing 2" Tanhony and Darnell … hotwire a car by … reading Explained SCP articles? This one's kind of a stretch. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-067-ex - Eekium
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4445-ex - Werrylium
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1933-ex - RecursiveRecursion
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2700-ex - TheeSherm
Recording Name Description Links Episode 35: "The Corbette Report (ft. Salman Corbette)" Tanhony and Darnell race down the highway of classic SCP articles and pick up a mysterious hitchhiker! Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-727-j - Salman Corbette
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1051 - Salman Corbette
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-1545 - Salman Corbette
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-329-j - Salman Corbette
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-682-j - Salman Corbette
Recording Name Description Links Episode 36: "This Is Not SCP, Please Delete" In the Halloween Special of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell destroy the entire premise of the show by not Discovering SCP. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
N/A
Recording Name Description Links Episode 37: Looks Like Meat's Back On The Menu Tanhony and Darnell return to the squishy, squelchy world of the Sarkic Cults as they explore more deep lore.. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2075 (The Way of All Flesh) - Metaphysician
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2406 (The Colossus) - Metaphysician
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-2478 (Ordinary Japanese People) - MrWrong
Recording Name Description Links Episode 38: Battleships 2 In this episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell travel down into the ocean blue and find something interesting. : - ) Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/scp-3000 (Anantasesha) - A Random Day, DJKaktus, Joreth.
Recording Name Description Links Episode 39: Jon Tron Tanhony and Darnell begin their journey into Series 4 of the SCP Foundation. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3005 (A Light That Died) - Silberescher
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3006 (Twice The Number One) - Roget
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3199 (Humans, Refuted) - bittermixin
Recording Name Description Links Episode 40: In Memoriam In the latest episode of Discovering SCP, Tanhony and Darnell fondly look back at their childhoods. Who do you remember from your childhood? Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3002 - Attempts to Assassinate Thought (MayD)
Recording Name Description Links Episode 41: Tanhony 100% Tanhony and Darnell read on as the beast is unleashed. Youtube, Spotify Files Read:
http://www.scpwiki.com/ripped-from-the-headlines - Ripped from the Headlines (DrEverettMann)
http://www.scpwiki.com/piercing-the-veil - Masquerade's End (Uncle Nicolini)
http://www.scpwiki.com/the-truth-is-out-there - The Truth Is Out There (Silberescher)
http://www.scpwiki.com/ethical - Ethical? (Montala)