SCP Foundation

Hi guys, just want to thank all the people that helped me make this what it was. Thanks to TheBlueHour for helping me with minor nitpicks and making connections easier to understand. Thanks a lot to Zyn for the help with trimming the narrative fat it was very appreciated.

Thanks for the greenlight from Crashington and Zyn again.

And thanks for taking a quick look and believing in me in general N_Aepic_Fael and DrChandra

I would love to say there was thoughtful inspiration behind this but really i was just looking at puns and thought train of thought would be pretty funny as a skip, hope you enjoyed!

Edit: Omg I can't believe I even forgot about DrMagnus's competition. All of these thoughts the kid had were things I thought about when I was a kid! So yeah I'd have to say that this is for Magnus' stupid dumbhead contest!

This was pretty interesting. I legitimately didn't see the twist coming, and it was an enjoyable twist in events that reminded me of SCP-3480 in a good way. Although there is some awkward wording ("extremely varied" sticks out in my mind) this is pretty good.

+1

An intriguing concept with great execution. +1!

Did not expect this up so soon but nice! I enjoyed it! My only gripe is that basically, all black boxes are unnecessary.

Excellent skip! ADHD is no joke, y'all. +1

Neat. The dialogue of the father feels a little off, like he's a bit too accepting of the Foundation's existence and nomenclature (he answers a question about his some being "anomalous" without blinking), but it's not a big deal. It's also a bit odd to be, structurally, that the revised edition isn't the first version we see, though the narrative wouldn't really work without that. Overall, it's weird, thought-provoking, enjoyable. +1

Congrats on posting this! I wish I had the time to go through the draft in more detail; all the same I'm glad to see this doing well on the mainsite.

I liked the containment procedures in particular—they're unusual and novel, and I appreciate the emphasis put on being as nonviolent as possible due to the nature of the core anomaly. It's a pleasant change from the "terminate on sight!!" usual from years ago. And of course, as I stated in the concepts stage (at least I think I did, it's possible I don't remember), the idea is quite a nice one with a good twist.

Have a +1!

I really have only one nitpick, but it's a big one. The title is really unrelated to content. A father is present, and that's it.

I actually took the liberty of doing a Ctrl-f search on all the mainlist pages, just to see if the obvious "Train of Thought" was already taken. It isn't, so you're free to change it to that.

I agree with Crashington and DrSevere, as well as noting the tone could be cleaner in many places.

Altogether though, it was an engaging story with an interesting concept.

Interesting, but down voting because I found the dialogue between the dad and foundation to be really thin. First thing I would say if I had been separated from my son 12 minutes ago? "Where the F*** is my son? What have you done to him?" etc. And happily agreeing, without thought, to your son living in what is essentially captivity/mental institute for the rest of his life? It wrecks the immersion for me.

Also, the foundation seems way off tone here. Why so friggin' nice? Why announce your entire secret mission to a POI after 46 seconds of internal conversation? Why are they being so nice to the -1 creatures in the second instance? At no point did anyone say that harming them causes the boy any distress, and we all know if the foundation is anything, it is brutally efficient - bullets are numerous and cheap.

I guess I essentially had an issue with the tone throughout - it seem too simple, too focused on the happy ending, too committed to the "train of thought" theme.