SCP Foundation

I really do not blame you at all if you think this is stupid, because I think it's stupid too. But the idea was described to me and I laughed so I wrote it and here it is.

It is lame… but what the Heck… Freud wins and you got an upvote from me.

Those escutcheon plates have got to be fakes; no-one is lucky enough to get naturals that shape and size.

Did I laugh? A few times. The punchline at the end got me, and i do appreciate the idea of the Foundation wasting countless dollars and man-hours concocting and conducting doorknob-specific sexual harassment seminars.

Ultimately, though, it runs long; there's a whole lot of space in there with not a lot of joke to fill it.

So, not uproarious, which as a -J means -1.

Edit: On why this is icky. There are three possibilities for this anomaly:
1: The doorknob is unnaturally attractive and reams of Site-19 staff are already overt sexual harassers. Which, gross.
2: The doorknob compels people to sexually harass it. Which, super-gross.
3: The doorknob is SO attractive that it MAKES people harass it. Which, hi there victim-blaming.

And no, the facts that it's 1) an inanimate doorknob and 2) a joke SCP don't make that better. I might look past it if the joke were drop-dead funny, but it's not.

Please tag this as NSFW. Consider this as a warning.

why is this so funny I don't understand it's just a damned doorknob +1

What did I just read?

No vote. It's amusing, but not funny.

Edit: Never mind.

Not sure why this is anomalous, that doorknob is just fucking hot. I want to nail Kate Upton too, she doesn't have an SCP entry.

Textbook -J execution, +1 from me.