The title and base idea were fascinating, and then the delivery really fell short. The majority of this was her speech, which is very literally setup for the performance. The performance, then, is the meat of your tale… but it’s very short. Your epilogue probably rivals its word count, and all that tells us is that she won an award and is affiliated with AWCY?, which really doesn’t add anything but a GoI tie which is frankly so unnecessary that you could downgrade their mention to being only in the tags. What you have, then, is 2/3 a tale of setup and then an anticlimactic performance, the “twist” of which is ruined for us by the parent page being set as End of Death anyways (and she also straight up explains what she’s going to do, and all we get is a simple description of her doing what she said she was going to do).
In short, eh. Her speech really made me excited for something with more substance, but we got exactly what we thought we were going to get and nothing more.
EDIT: and I made the rookie mistake of leaving this as a “reply” instead of a post. darn it
