I thought of this while staring at this shitty lawn ornament in my backyard while cutting the grass. It popped into my head, and I wrote it all today. It appeared in my head almost whole, like it was a fossil I uncovered.
This is honestly an excellent subversion of several SCP conventions and I enjoyed the monologue a lot more than I usually enjoy monologues. Well done.
if your reading this your gay
This was a well done "Infodump behind the Collapsible." Like, really well-done. I didn't think it could actually still be done well, and this works doubly because the guy who made the collapsible might just be suffering from the effects of a meme.
Good job, author.
I have a hit-or-miss relationship with the whole "tales in the form of SCPs" thing that's been going on. In order for me to really get into it, the anomaly has to be interesting, I have to get invested in both the characters and the emotions being brought forth, and I have to realistically imagine it on the mainlist without really going "There's no way this isn't real, it's probably just a made-up anomaly for the Level 3s and below to be pacified with). What I'm saying is, it has to be believable.
The only bit you really hit on is the "interesting anomaly" part. The idea of a skip retroactively changing perception about it unless people force themselves to view it as it is can work, and it sounds like a nice start. However, I can't actually buy this being a real thing. It's both vague and suspension-stretching, and nothing in the monologue by the end makes it believable as well. It makes me shrug and go "Alright?" because this just isn't something I can imagine happening with the way it's presented here.
Finally, I'm not attached or drawn into this former director. I can't sympathize with the "Depressed sad-sack alcoholic" trope (though that's through no fault of your own) and the bits here and there telling us about the character delivering the monologue aren't interesting, and felt like a distraction. I just ultimately couldn't feel like I cared.
This is the kind of article I can see working for many others. But it can't work for me on several levels.
I honestly don't seem him as a depressed sadsack alcoholic. I wrote him to be kind of a garrulous jackass himself. This is a celebration. And this is him showing off before he'll have to forget it.
Probably a fault of me interpreting it wrong then, but the copious amounts of references to him drinking don't help much. I'll give it a fresh reading in the morning to make sure I pick up on it in a different way, though my other points still stand for me.
Nah, I think if you're not into the drinking, then you wouldn't be into this character, I understand. And it is vague, but I don't know if a metaphysical Atlas is too ridiculous considering what other objects we got in here.
Having come back to this months later, I have a better appreciation for it. I still think the story seems a bit strained and forced at times with how it presents its details, but given that it's all in service for the story (which I think is really damn cool here) and how it makes the cognitohazard + compulsion effects really interesting, I'm all for this now.
SCP-902 post-SCP-902.
Not getting the feel from this one. Sorry. The personality behind the collapsible feels like too much pontificating for little effect. I suppose that's the point, but you know what? The Load's dropped already.
-1
Not really. A reordering of the fundamental nature of reality is ultimately window dressing.
Or maybe I'm just not hooked.
Okay, honestly, I can see the comparison, but to say "just post SCP-902" shows, imo, only the most surface understanding of both scips.
SCP-902's anomaly is the memetic effect of the importance of keeping the box closed. The actual contents of the box are immaterial. Although there can be question whether the effect would continue in the event that the box is opened, the box exists in a world in which the event of the box opening would not occur, unless by something incapable of comprehending its action as such. In essence, we can collapse the meaning of SCP-902 down to the single memetic concept without affecting the remainder of the story in any way. If my interpretation is a "most surface understanding," it's because the surface is logically identical to the depth.
The difference here is that the memetic effect behind SCP-2612 is not as complete and dumb (in the nonresponsive sense) as SCP-902. There is a desire to drop The Load, combined with the idea that The Load must not be dropped. By letting The Load drop, we see the memetic effect of "must not drop The Load" ending. There is talk about the entity of the donkey wanting to be free of the obligation not to drop The Load, but the story reduces to the changing of the memetic effect into a new effect that is much more palatable and far less worrying to the individual.
When I was still newer to the Foundation than not, I had the idea to make an item that seemed dangerous, but was actually innocuous. As time has progressed, I've come to the realization that the item and the way I was going to handle it were stupid, so thank you for taking the concept and making it work.
I was thinking, as I read the addendum, that it wasn't really necessary, but it does take things in a different direction than I expected, giving the item more depth, and once he actually gets to the story, it's pretty engrossing.
Due to its effects
Should be 'their'.
you'd get slack off
Drop 'get'.
You knowing the truth will be in no danger to you
Drop 'in'.
Instances of "it" that should be capitalized:
but it had been holding the entirety
That's what it wanted.
I helped it to lighten The Load. That's what it wanted.
But I told it
that it wasn't important
Just need to take it outs of its pack.
"outs" should be 'out', and also capitalize those 'it's.
It creates a better storyline for it
It already has a picture, doesn't it?
Actually, these two I'm not sure about, if they're referring to It or the situation at hand. Nor do I have any idea what that second line refers to.
It'll become into being
Drop 'into being'.
Fixed mosto f those, thank you! He's actually referring to the amnestic being taken out of its pack, btw. I changed the "it already has a picture" to explain what he means a little better. Which is that It has somehow already made itself into a scip that had a picture taken of it. Kinda. If that makes sense.
I love "become into being." I'm sorry, but I love it.
Also I'm glad you thought the letter took the scip in a different direction. That was, essentially, my goal. Kind of like a double twist.