Adolescence didn't make sense
A little loss of innocence
The ugliness of being a fool
Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?
My little reimagining of 239, with a dash of 353. Thank you to everyone who reviewed this.
Photo is from here.
SCP-5239 / Discussion
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Hey friend, a question has been here for a while and I see that many people put reserved in the articles, could you explain what it means, I mean what are you reserving?
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svaria
I loved it, interesting the manipulation of corpses with a poorly written book in Latin, good concept.
Hey, don't you mean SCP-XXXX B through E? There are four item besides the book but you used three designations.
-1. This started interesting, but you lost me when the Foundation approved releasing a reality bender. I didn't buy the excuse that the SRAs cost too much to keep her. Do they need to use SRAs when they can just deprive her of "magical" paraphernalia? The core concept here has potential I think.
but you lost me when the Foundation approved releasing a reality bender.
The thing is, they're effectively non-anomalous when separated from the book. So the Foundation decided they'd just confiscate the book, and administer some amnestics before releasing them.
I think it'd also be the height of naiveté to believe that the Foundation isn't going to be keeping tabs on this person for the rest of their life.
+1, this is great.
Bliss just said the Foundation wouldn't follow the kid - there's no account of what actually happened later. Guess that's all up to our headcanons then.
bliss just said that the foundation wouldn't have any influence over blaine's life, not that the foundation wouldn't be watching
First, if they're monitoring, that should be made clear in the article. It's not, so it comes across as the author being a bit naive about the Foundation's security measures. (Your headcanon may vary, of course, but I'm unaware of the Foundation ever willingly releasing an SCP.)
Second, the article implies that this reality bender may not actually need any props at all. Concerning items B through D, the article says "However, instances can be swapped out for similar products with little to no change in performance." So it's just the book that she needs to raise the dead, and the Foundation is ok with releasing her?
For a moment I was worried this was gonna be filled with X-Man syndrome but you resolved it in a clean and believable way.
+1
Hi, this is Cyvstvi13 and I'll be performing a criticism on this piece as part of the Swamp Critters Squad.
Overall
I'm a massive fan of this article. It walks a very tight line between humour and serious tones, which we could always use a little bit of in life. The idea that there's a few tangentially related placebo effect-like items recovered alongside her was a fantastic touch that really elevated the character of Blaine.
"We can hardly fault a 16 year-old for not speaking Latin.", I don't know why, but I just really like this line in general. There's various other little lines sprinkled in there that give some really good character to everybody in this scip.
SPaG
Only one SPaG mistake that I found:
"It's creations are more fleshy/incorporeal automatons rather than true reanimations." —-> Should be "Its".
Consistency/Flow
I absolutely loved the ending reveal that this individual wanted to stay and be useful with the Foundation because they had nowhere else to go in life. And the fact that the Foundation actually helped them in life is a brilliant little added character to the Foundation.
It's a twist from the usual "Foundation hate everything" style that we typically get over here.
Closing Remarks
Nothing much more to say really. I loved this scip to bits and felt that it really added to the site by introducing a little humanity and realism to the Foundation. +1'd and keep up the good work.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to Cyvstvi13 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team,
SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.
Enjoyed the YA fiction vibes from this, feels like a book I would read in middle school but imported to a more reasonable Foundation universe. I would like to see them as a recurring character perhaps when they get older and start working at the foundation or something. Only nitpick would probably be the zombie dialogue, felt like he was just a normal dude and not a zombie lol.
So this didn't work for me personally due to the reasons stated by 5239 itself. I'd be fine with it if it just wanted to pull off the cool necromancer-shtick on their own and try to fulfill a fantasy that only young adults would want when given DnD-esque magical powers, but their reason being that it's another "My parents don't understand/respect my chosen gender identity" comes off derivative, if not clichéd when it comes to writing genderqueer characters.
It's just that it's not really anything I've seen before with these types of characters. Which doesn't exactly make a mark on me by this individual. The humor is slightly stale, though I did enjoy the poor latin in the necromancer book, which I feel like you could've focused more on. But that's just my two cents on the whole thing.
SCP-5239: It was just the public library. One on Main and tenth?
Bliss: Oh. [Erasing notes] Continue, please.
Oh, this is going to be a clever piece, isn't it?
Having actually finished the article now, I can confirm it's plenty clever. The conversion therapy reveal hit really goddamn hard and my fight/flight response is still on high. For a myriad of reasons, I feel personally examined by this article and you deserve an upvote just for that.
I like your version of the Foundation. It is, possibly, the most charitable and "good" version of the Foundation that can exist behind a manufactured Veil, and that's why it's so jarring to me that they just throw Blaine to the wolves at the end. She can't/won't go home but being on the run is still unbelievably dangerous and scary — couldn't they have given her a bit more protection than "we won't force you to go back home"?
It is, unfortunately, still the Foundation. The best Bliss could do was drop them off at the youth shelter.
Any significant aid beyond some basic nessecities like a change of clothing, food, or some pocket money, would probably get vetoed by the Foundation, because they aren't related to the anomalous any more, and are thus out of their purview. Consider it like a SCP-2410 situation: "We die in the dark. What happens in the light is not our concern."
The Foundation, like any organization, is comprised of people, who can be cold and distant. Luckily it also has people like Bliss, who did everything in their power to help Blaine out.
Anyways, glad you liked it!
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page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
