Despite All My Rage, I'm Still Just A Bird In A Cage
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I found the story engaging to read because of the clever rhymes. I don't know how long it took you to make those rhymes work, but it really made the story for me.
Also, I like how the Demon is actually appreciate of the Foundation at the end rather than hateful.
I think I'm missing something here but I'm unsure what. I'm also unsure what to think about some of these crosslinks. They each seem to take place within the same overarching story, but I refuse to read two separate skips just to fully understand this one.
That really just sounds like a you problem. I believe that cross-linking can be a good way to bring light to another SCP or tale, and help add story to their own. I think playing ignorant to those SCPs and then claiming to be lost is kind of not the fault of the author, it's yours.
Any article should be able to survive on its own merits and rely on reading an entirely new piece to enjoy. It's true that some articles are improved by reading them as an over-arching story, but crosslinks are meant to enhance the story, they shouldn't be the story.
As for the article itself, I find myself sharing similar sentiments to Flops. I actually have read the other articles before this one, but all-in-all I'm not really seeing too much of a connection besides "demons".
I will say though that I did quite enjoy the dialogue between the two officers and the parrot, because I always get a kick out of people unfamiliar with the anomalous interacting with it, and I feel you did that quite well here.
Guess I should weigh in here. I 100% agree that an article must hold up on its own. That said, the connections here really shouldn't affect the story one way or another; or at least were not intended to. The connections were supposed to be background details at most.
A move I made, for an empty throne.
The throne and 5208 referencing the title of Lust once held by Asmodeus, who the foundation kills in this article, hence the emptiness.
Through autopsy, the "Dr. O'Brien" present during this interview was revealed to be a homunculus.
The homunculus crosslink to 5049 gives you a little backstory on where such a thing can be acquired by a demon, but I also include a footnote explaining what it is. (maybe admittedly not enough.)
But either way, your opinions are valid and I appreciate y'all reading and commenting.
Etrigan is the only demon who speaks in rhymes that I like, and without the rhyme the demon in the birdie isn’t a particularly memorable fellow.
If Dem9n are Extra Spatial in nature does that mean they Higher Deminsional entities whom need a host to Intersect with Lower Deminsional constructs ?
While some of the rhyming seemed off, overall I enjoyed reading this.
+1.
For a gimmick as simple as this, it's very easy to it to fall into the territory of becoming annoying to read. This falls into that trap right when the anomaly starts talking about its past. While a demon being hunted down by other demons for some mistake it made in Hell is not exactly the most interesting of backstories, the way that it's told makes it even more mind-numbing to read and digest. If the narrative was reworked to focus more on the comedic aspects of the bird — as shown in the ending and in the discovery log — I think I would've had myself a few immature chuckles and liked it a lot more. As is, it's just a boring story told in a gimmicky way.
This is a -1 from me.
I thoroughly enjoyed this, especially the part at the end where Phenex kinda just realized he could be safe with the Foundation, even if he is stuck in a bird.
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page revision: 7, last edited: 17 Nov 2020 06:16
