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My only nitpicks on this are why does the bell have to be indestructible? There honestly really isn't any clear reason why it should be. The butler, I can understand, but seriously, the bell?
Also, you seem to have fallen into that same pitfall many others have fallen into when dealing with 682. 682 DOES NOT ABSORB OR COPY POWERS. It only evolves methods to COUNTER them.
I suppose it doesn't have to be. I too hate the idea of something that is "indestructable". I'll change it. It's been a while since I read 682's page, but that is an easy fix too. Thanks for the input!
Urgh. There's something about this… I mean it's well written but it feels… oh… like a sue-item, no offence. Too perfect. It needs to take some sort of price for the tasks, an undisclosed one.
I thought about making the bell itself maybe gradually suck the life out of the person that used it frequently, and maybe that would make it a bit less user friendly, though not initially obvious. It's been done by a few other SCP items if I recall though, so I left it out. But, if that sounds more interesting I can certainly tinker with the page a bit more and fit it in. Not sure what a sue-item is though. Also the fact that he can't get you anything you want is the initial downside.
Maybe make him… noticibly annoyed and/or bothered by being stuck in the bell? Give him a more… full personality. how would a human react if stuck in those conditions?
Dunno if "stuck in" is apt. He seems more like "bound to" the bell. Semantically picky, yes, but that's hw it seems to me anyway.
I'm thinking I could take it two ways:
Either he's a prankster and though at first he'll get you what you want within reason, eventually he'll start tampering with whatever it is he's brought you; a cockroach in your sandwich for instance or ice cubes made of urine in your tasty cold beverage.
and/or:
He constatly gripes about having to do anything for anyone and will talk to anyone he can find while he's out and around about it, and he's a lazy bum who takes his time or "forgets" what he was doing and has to repeatedly be reminded, along the lines of what LeBlueDude suggested.
I dunno though, I want to keep it simple and short, and it's already a bit lengthy.
I thought of him as a kind of modern version of a genie in a bottle, but flawed in such a way that he certainly couldn't do the kinds of things a genie could, but could keep someone reasonably satisfied. He was "created" or "bound" for the sole purpose of serving whoever it was the bell was buried with and they never intended anyone else to ever use it, hence the "Forever Mine" bit. It's just a coincidence that the bell was found and acquired by the Foundation.
I've been super busy the past few days, I'll update it with some of these ideas this weekend if any of them sound appealing. I'm thinking further interviews and test logs will reveal his darker side over time while I leave the main body of the page intact. Keep the critiques coming!
I'm downvoting for a very specific reason: the name "Mister Deeds" brings up images of Adam Sandler.
Enough said.
Yeah, I felt the same way at first but it just seemed so apt for this case. I'm open to suggestions. I figured that whoever it was that caught him in the bell in the first place called him that to irk him even more, as if being an eternal butler wasn't enough.
I think this entry is just fine.
The real horror comes once you realize that this guy never seems to express any moral revulsion towards killing or anger at being killed or mistreated, only polite apologies when he can't do something. Because if how you treat him is meaningless and he'll follow a master's orders to kill so long as the assassination is within his power, then no matter how friendly you might be with him, he will just as readily follow your enemies' orders to kill you if they get the bell. And no matter how nice and helpful Mr. Deeds is, there is something deeply disturbing about that complete disconnect between how you interact with him and how he'll carry out orders.
He seems to not be sentient; he's alike a classic robot, just following it's programming. He is smart, but doesn't got personhood (not in the sense of being attributed personhood or having it acknowledged, but in the sense of technically being a "person").
A question a friend asked me to relay: What about asking Mr. Deeds to procure documents that contain information we don't have?
I suppose he could obtain that kind of info, as long as he could reasonably get to it without being murdered and subsequently disappearing only to reappear at the next ringing of the bell. Perhaps, if he claimed he could not, it could mean that the information was legitimately missing or destroyed.
Just came across this one, and I have to say, I quite like it.
It seems a classic, but well-executed, Monkey's Paw scenario, almost. We don't know where or how Deeds is acquiring the items people request of him, nor do we always know how he performs the tasks he's assigned.
I could easily see it being the classic "get exactly what you asked for in the worst possible way". After asking for that bar of gold, did anyone check to see if Fort Knox had been breached? :D
(Make it worse: the person who touches the bell to summon him is the one who gets blamed for it. Has anyone tested Deeds' fingerprints? DNA?)
Just my 2 cents, but either way, +1 from me.
Sorry about being away from this for so long, but actually the Fort Knox idea was something I had in mind while I was originally writing it. I figured maybe he was really just stealing the stuff from some other existing location.
But coming back to it a few months later, I think the fact that it is pretty much unkown how it is he aquires stuff to be a more interesting idea. So far there is just no way to tell, since he isn't himself telling, so it could be anything. I need to mull over some of the other ideas about him, maybe he sucks the life out of a person over time or somesuch. For now I'll leave it as is.
Well, no. Mr. Deeds was obviously "constructed" to be a perfect servant to his master. Why would a perfect servant drain the life out of a person over time?
(Unless, of course, he was told "Mr. Deeds, go drain the life out of that D-class personnel over there.")
This is pretty good. My only issue is that the formatting is not Foundation-standard template.
The "Pat on the Back" award made me chuckle.
I like the idea that Deeds could have only the abilities of a normal human, and is just creative and emotionless enough to use any means available to fulfill requests. (Okay, in the same sense Dr. Bright is a normal human.)
I'd love to see some more experiments or interviews with this guy. I'm growing inordinately fond of Mr. Deeds.
Aside from the capabilities of Mr. Deeds (I admit, I want that bell), I just love the "Pat On The Back" award for the Agent. You rarely get a peek at the blander, more "normal" side of the Foundation's bureaucracy.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
