New brewery based SCP. Kudos to TroyL for concept help and getting all those old timey slang phrases for me.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
SCP-2253 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2253.
It's just too cartoonish. A phantom old-timey politician with multiple personalities, comic misunderstandings based on site in-jokes, poltergiests attacking the British, and copious use of vomit make it too silly for my taste.
And for me that makes it too GREAT for my tastes! 1+
Yeah I can understand why.
pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming
The dialogue doesn't really seem natural, and entrenches the 'Foundation uses fronts with S.C.P. in the name' idea, which is easily one of the stupider bits of site lore, in a particularly annoying way. I quite like the twist at the end about this actually being a really drunk history student's ghost, but it doesn't overcome the silliness of it.
While I think that the dialogue was largely what made things too goofy, I also think that removing it altogether took away the part I liked most. Even while continuously claiming to be Stephen Crane, the apparition's first words in the log were "Call me Sam." This lent some serious credence to the question that is later brought up, regarding whether or not he is who he says he is (consciously or otherwise).
I think I'll change my -1 to a no-vote, but I still think this could use some more refining.
Added that in and also added additional content to that section.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
That does a lot to wrap it up for me, I like the tone quite a bit more now. -1 to no-vote to +1.
Now it's still got the limited goofiness of "They make Brit-hating beer that tastes better because some ghost is puking in it," without going too far over the top.
As a former home brewer*, I found this immediately appealing. The protoplasmic incursions added a nice touch of squick, and the MC&D reps being pelted by a drunken poltergeist provided some levity.
Have a +1.
*Mead, cider, gruit ale.
SCP-2253 is legally a brewery which is also a Foundation front organization,
This sounds weird.
Sure, the drunk ghost of a dead politician pissing into brewery tanks is not a bad concept in itself, butI feel like it doesn't do anything with it. Also, MC&D assuming that every company with a SCP acronym is a Foundation front company is just way too lolfoundationy for my tastes, and the addendum at the end goes nowhere and seems just pointless. -1
You missed something on that last addendum- they're fairly certain it's not the ghost of Stephen Crane, and that it is the ghost of some other guy claiming to be Stephen Crane. Quite possibly a really sad fraternity member and history major.
I just don't see the point of it or see how it fits with the rest of the story
I always thought that the Foundation giving front companies the initials "SCP" was an out-of-universe joke, and that the Foundation doesn't really do it in-universe.
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Alright, two locations for potential crosslinks come to my mind. The first is crosslinking from the mention of MC&D to the MC&D Hub, the second is linking from the mention of the dispute over 2253 to the tale Skirmish at Crane's Pub which documents said incident. As such, I am recommending the following edit:
Changing this:
Due to the name of the brewery, agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. began investigating shortly after this initial opening, believing it to be a Foundation front. MC&D agents made several offers to purchase SCP-2253, all of which were refused by the owners. The refusal was partially motivated by SCP-2253-1's distaste towards a British corporation. MC&D, in turn, believed their business to be a front for the SCP Foundation to monitor their New England activities.
To this:
Due to the name of the brewery,3 agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. began investigating shortly after this initial opening, believing it to be a Foundation front. MC&D agents made several offers to purchase SCP-2253, all of which were refused by the owners. The refusal was partially motivated by SCP-2253-1's distaste towards a British corporation. MC&D, in turn, believed their business to be a front for the SCP Foundation to monitor their New England activities.
Changing this:
MC&D attempted to seize SCP-2253 by force on ██/██/████. After initial success in securing the property and detaining all occupants, SCP-2253-1 became hostile and began using cooking utensils, brewing equipment benches and granite counter-tops as projectile weapons against the MC&D Agents. Local police began to respond to reports of an ongoing shootout, and brought Foundation office's attention the situation. Three MC&D agents were captured, and fifteen local police officers were administered Class-B amnestics.
To this:
MC&D attempted to seize SCP-2253 by force on ██/██/████. After initial success in securing the property and detaining all occupants, SCP-2253-1 became hostile and began using cooking utensils, brewing equipment benches and granite counter-tops as projectile weapons against the MC&D Agents. Local police began to respond to reports of an ongoing shootout, and brought Foundation office's attention the situation. Three MC&D agents were captured, and fifteen local police officers were administered Class-B amnestics.
If anyone has other/better examples that could be used here please leave a comment saying so!
/forum/t-1749859/scp-2253#post-
page revision: 5, last edited: 18 May 2020 23:10
