I'm not a fan of the word 'massive' in 'massive aquatic predator' but you have my upvote again for the repost.
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1128.
(account deleted)To be honest, the experiment log doesn't seem to be adding a lot to the article proper. It's pretty much the same point repeated over and over.
Kinda true except for the last experiment (not even dry land is safe! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!), but I couldn't think of any other tests that could be done with this thing short of pitting 682 against it, and that probably would just get me negative ratings. Is there any way I could improve it that you can think of?
Mentioned this over in the Experiment Log thread, but it's more relevant here: if not even dry land is safe, then your containment procedures are kinda lacking. You've created an apex predator for its environment (a section of the REDACTED ocean near the REDACTED coast). If this thing can eat whales, then it would be an apex predator on land by the REDACTED coast if it did in fact go on shore. In which case your containment procedures are lacking - Kappa 12 would need to be assigned to watch the land as well as the sea.
Also, regardless, I recommend putting mention of Kappa 12's duties in the containment procedures, since that's what they are - containment duties.
I like the fact that the thing is big enough to eat a whale (I have a definite fear of enormous undersea creatures), but this overall doesn't grab me.
I kinda meant to play on the fear of enormous undersea creatures (something I tend to suffer from) as well as that "shark week" feeling of discomfort with being in/near water because it reminds you of some awful creature you saw in a documentary that lives in water (another thing I tend to experience). Still, I can't say I have the best writing skills on this wiki, so what can I do about it?
Satisfactory as-is, IMO. I was constantly hoping for any trace of a description besides "enormous undersea creature" while reading, but by the end I'd already thought up a dozen of them scarier than anyone could describe in words. That's how it's supposed to work. Nice job.
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page revision: 1, last edited: 25 Feb 2021 03:57
