Okay, here we go, quick skim.
First off, some general writing concerns:
- The first paragraph of the description is much longer and more confusing than it needs to be. You only mention what SCP-XXXX is, and then go straight into talking about XXXX-1 and XXXX-2 before they're described.
- You have non-metric measurements, like feet. The Foundation is a scientific organization, and would only use metric.
- Couple sentences are run-ons and/or need commas. For example, "Should the population of SCP-XXXX-2 become significant enough to potentially displace native fauna or arouse suspicion from the civilian population MTF agents disguised as local animal control are to apprehend uncontained instances of SCP-XXXX-2 in an attempt to reduce the population."
- "Whilst" is an older word that isn't typically used often in clinical documents.
Regarding the concept itself… I can't say I was super interested, mainly because I found the description a pain to slog through and I kept wondering why SCP-XXXX is the house when the dogs are clearly the focus of the article and the anomaly. I wasn't really inclined to read the logs or anything in the collapsibles—it felt like an excess of material about a topic that I had already felt rather lukewarm about.
Definitely consider trimming and streamlining your writing, since you have a lot of extraneous "fluff text" that kind of just ends up being minutiae and other unnecessary details (such as "Unfortunately, accurate measurements of SCP-XXXX’s physiology are difficult to obtain as SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties make physical interaction with SCP-XXXX-1 difficult." > there's no need to preface the sentence with "unfortunately", and this is something that the reader could ultimately figure out themselves). Extra text forces the reader to comb through the article to figure out what is important to understanding the base anomaly and what is either repetitive or effectively not particularly important; a professional researcher would be more thrifty with language.
Did you happen to get the concept checked in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before drafting?
