SCP Foundation

"Oh damnit," I sigh defeatedly.

My begrudging amusement grows to a full and enthusiastic upvote.

I look deep into Stallmantic's eyes, realising the full consequences of having an entire discussion page written like this. My eyes widen, and my jaw drops open. The harsh scent of week-old pizza fills my mouth, and I resist the urge to gag. It wouldn't do to ruin this moment.

"You madman," I whisper, half-stunned. "You actually did it,"

Stallmantic looks back at me, and grins. "Of course. I did it for you."

With trembling fingers, my mouse drenched in sweat, I upvote.

gag sensually

IT IS TIME

TO S T O P

This is a den of iniquity. +1

"I have been writing, just for you," I purr. "I have always been infatuated by your hair, or potentially also your lack of it, your two arms, and your at least one eye." This level of detail shows you how I know you personally, even across the vast expanses of the internet.

So I read this and I immediately thought of Bo Burnham's "Repeat Stuff" (btw, the full lyrics are kinda nsfw I guess)

I love my baby and you know I couldn't live without her
But now I need to make every girl think this song's about her
Just to make sure that they spread it like the plague
So, I describe my dream girl as really really vague, like…

"I love your hands 'cause your fingerprints are like no other
I love your eyes and their blueish brownish greenish color
I love it when you smile, that you smile wide
And I love how your torso has an arm on either side."

You get a +1 for this author page, because I found it absolutely hilarious.

Oh, you big flirt!