SCP Foundation

Within the chamber is a small house containing standard furniture, appliances, and other objects which would normally be found in an occupied house. Imo

At least once a month, SCP-3XXX is to be transferred to a temporary holding chamber containing a minimum of 10 liters of open water while its environment chamber is cleaned. During this time, 100-5001 small amphibians, reptiles, and rodents are to be introduced to the enclosure, along with enough insects to maintain their populations until the next cleaning period.Why is this? I read the whole thing, and still don't really get what this does, or why the Foundation would pump hundreds of vermin into a water tank alongside this thing. Especially if there is a viable alternative in just putting it in a normal containment chamber for up to 2 weeks.

Recommended change:
The main difference between SCP-3XXX and octopi is the lack of mantle. Organs which would normally be located within the mantle of an octopus are instead distributed throughout the body. Two eye stalks protrude upwards from the head, and can be rotated up to 300 degrees. There is a beak on the underside of the body, with a sharp tongue-like appendage inside.
Isn't ‘body` here describing the entirety of the entity? Maybe we should use `torso` instead at times. It’s a matter of taste, but I generally advocate shortening descriptions when possible.

sewn(?) fabrics
SCP-3XXX has also been observed hiding in dark areas rather than utilizing camoflague

SCP-3XXX is a predatory hunter, occupying homes currently being lived in by persons numbering between 1 and 5.How does it know that? Would it turn away if it found out six people lived in a house? Maybe it'd be fine to just say 'occupied homes' and leave it there?

SCP-3XXX-1 is somehow aware that this has happened, and proceeds to detach from the brain and make its way to the breach in the skull through unknown means. This assumes sentience, which is something I would be hesitant to do in an SCP.

Overall this is neat! Terrestrial Cephalopods are cool. I'm a bit wary, especially with the working title ‘Just Another Memory Eater,` of what the skip does though. We’ve already got a few ‘SCP that secretes something useful in suppressing memories`, one of which is utterly fantastic and fleshed-out. Particularly of note is the cost inherent in tampering with peoples’ minds, something that's pretty much a free-roll here. Just my observation, but it seems like an almost too-awesome method of doing something that otherwise takes a lot of effort or is hard to justify, and for that reason some may reject it.

Good luck!

Correct spelling for 'entrances:'

In the event that SCP-3XXX is within 10 meters of the main entrance of the chamber, one of the two backup enterances entrances is to be used.

I recommend you restructure this sentence for better flow. This is stylistic choice, though:

If necessary, SCP-3XXX can be kept in a standard containment chamber for 1-2 weeks before its mental state begins to diminish, provided it has enough open water and food.

Correct spelling for 'its:'

…it is to be administered anti-depression and anti-anxiety medication until is its enclosure is ready for SCP-3XXX to be reintroduced.

Maybe this thing is male. Maybe there's something called the bases of the testicles, and the organs are stored here. However, I'm assuming you meant tentacles here:

…organs which would normally be located within the mantle of an octopus are instead distributed throughout the head, body, and the bases of testicles tentacles.

Divide run-on sentence with semicolon:

However, SCP-3XXX-1 is not used as a method of distracting or blinding predators; instead, SCP-3XXX-1 displays anomalous properties…

Not sure if you're referring to the reversal of synaptic plasticity or the diminishing potency here:

This process takes between 2-4 weeks.

If it's to the former, you should rewrite that to make it clear.

A few issues with this sentence:

SCP-3XXX is a predatory hunter, occupying homes currently being lived in by persons numbering between 1 and 5.

1. "Predatory hunter." It seems redundant and disconnected by itself; though it makes sense (a hunter that naturally preys on animals), it would make more sense if you included "of humans" at the end, to establish what it predates and why it lurks in human households.
2. "Currently being lived in." I advocate removing "currently being," because it implies that either:
   1. The containment chamber has human occupants, and/or:
   2. The homes it once occupied now host the specified number of people.

Altogether, the changes amount to:

SCP-3XXX is a predatory hunter of homo sapiens, occupying homes currently being lived in by persons numbering between 1 and 5.

Replacing 'in' with 'into:'

After entering a home, SCP-3XXX proceeds to secrete SCP-3XXX-1 onto/into various food items around the house.

You can clean this sentence up in several ways:

SCP-3XXX will strategically place items photos and other objects items which have with significant personal meaning to the subject, in locations within the house that where it has observed subjects looking to have regular lines of sight being made by occupants subjected to SCP-3XXX-1.

Not sure if that's the edit you want, but it's a step in the right direction.

Insert numeral:

Over the course of one (1) week,…

Not sure how you'd reincorporate "in the wild," but I think you should just say "at this point" rather than "uses this period:"

At this point in the wild, SCP-3XXX uses this period to reabsorbs SCP-3XXX-1 using its tongue-like appendage.

You should change this sentence for a more clinical tone:

By unknown mechanisms of detection and locomotion, SCP-3XXX-1 somehow detects that this has happened, and proceeds responds to by detaching from the brain and makes its way to pooling at the breach in the skull through unknown means.

No need to mention the subject:

SCP-3XXX-1 can be flushed out of the brain at any point prior to the subject entering a this catatonic state

"Glymphatic" is not capitalized:

artificial induction of the glymphatic system.

"Administer" implies dispensation of a drug, when that is not necessarily the case (i.e. scip hunting humans). Change this to

In the event that SCP-3XXX-1 is administered to a subject

Putting an apostrophe on 'body' and lowercase 'glymphatic:'

it will decay over the course of 1-2 days until it can be flushed by the body's natural glymphatic system.

Change "constant" for "ongoing:"

SCP-3XXX-1 victims exhibit constant ongoing signs of confusion, fear, and mild paranoia.

I recommend you restructure the last sentence of the description for better flow. In addition, insert "and" define "a few days" (I've included a number range to demonstrate):

Though Subjects are unable to speak immediately after recovery, they can be reconditioned and, over the course of a few days, begin to though reconditioning leads to the recall of concepts (both abstract and concrete) and speech over the course of 3-5 days.

Cleaning up the foreword for Addendum 1:

Foreword: The following are various tests performed on SCP-3XXX, specifically, to what to determine the extent to which various mental conditions would affect it.

I'd add a space for the signature of each note:

It does not appear that SCP-3XXX is susceptible to non-anomalous mental disorders.
- Senior Researcher Larange

Correcting designation of test subject and simplifying sentence for results of test B (BTW, don't think I didn't notice that it's "Test B" for the bees):
Additionally, D-66259 was no longer under the effects of affected by SCP-1256.

Cleaning up the notes for test B for more clinical tone and less confusing phrasing:

We thought that assumed SCP-3XXX would not attempt to get non-humans to ingest only target humans with SCP-3XXX-1. Turns out that being human isn't the criteria it operates on.
- Senior Researcher Larange

Clarifying and dividing up notes for test C:

I've decided to not allow any additional tests on SCP-3XXX regarding involving cognitohazards. Remember, our job is just as much to protect these anomalies as it is to study them.
- Senior Researcher Larange

Cleaning up the foreword for Addendum 2, à la Addendum 1:

Foreword: The following are various tests performed on SCP-3XXX, specifically, to what to determine the extent to which specific memories could be erased.

Capitalizing "Foundation" and switching up structure of last sentence in results for test D:

Additionally, D-73627 had forgotten various details about the Foundation, specifically previous tests in which he had been involved with.

Lowercase 'was:'

D-18827 was administered

"In any way" is ambiguous. Specifying the latter results of test F:
Seemingly, no other memories (aside from those which directly involve the concept of Earth in any way) were affected.

Insertion of colon in Addendum 3:

The Mnemosyne Protocol would consist of three phases: 1) The creation of trillions of self-replicating nanomachines…

You could format this as a numbered list, as I've seen it done in official documents. This is a stylistic choice, though so I leave that up to you.

Since you use the same amount for each substance, I'd shorten this sentence by keeping it consistent:

Each nanomachine would contain 3e-10 femtolitres of an ultra-potent SCP-3XXX-1 solution, 3e-10 femtolitres of a Class-A Hypnotic, and 3e-10 femtolitres of the CGF-650 compound.

Once again, though, this is stylistic choice.

Restructuring this sentence for better flow:

Regardless of the means of intake, LETHE-31 would be able to locate and attach to various areas of the brain of each human subject.

Same with this sentence. Also: 'principal', not 'principle:'

Many means of Distribution of the trillion principle principal LETHE-31 nanomachines would be enacted via three possible means.

Changing and matching the tense and ordinal numbering of the methods to be more succinct and coherent:

The first method would be to introduce small amounts of LETHE-31
The second method would involve the introduction of LETHE-31
Method three The third method would call for the incorporation of LETHE-31 to be as an ingredient in "new and improved" variations

"When enacted" makes more grammatical sense here, since I assume this transmission starts the process:

When activation enacted, hundreds of Foundation satellites would begin transmitting

This sentence runs into the aforementioned problem with the word choice 'administer,' and runs on. Also, I think you should refer to the "effects of SCP-3XXX-1," not "SCP-3XXX-1 effects." Here is my revision correcting for these:

Once SCP-3XXX-1 effects are detected, nanomachines located in the occipital and temporal lobes would begin administering producing electrostatic signals, inducing auditory and visual hallucinations informing individuals to think about conjuring the targeted cognitohazard they are affected by. causing the neural pathways it operates on to be destroyed, effectively neutralizing its effects.

Also, I think the fact this causes the neural pathways to be destroyed should be left unspoken. As it is, the proposal seems to explain more than it needs to; it should be assumed the O5 Council understands the result. If you do include this, though, I recommend doing so in another sentence:

This action applies SCP-3XXX-1's effect to neural pathways connected to the cognitohazard, effectively neutralizing it.

Let's start with how SCP-3XXX is defined.
The containment procedures and testing logs imply that this is a single organism in containment. The description designates a whole species as SCP-3XXX. You must decide which definition you want, and stay consistent.
If the former, use this as the description:

SCP-3XXX is a member of an anomalous species of amphibious, five-legged cephalopod

If the latter, change the designation of this contained instance:

An instance of SCP-3XXX is currently held in a 75m x 75m artificial environment chamber at Site-127

This octopus has quite the containment chamber:

SCP-3XXX is currently held in a 75m x 75m artificial environment chamber at Site-127 built to resemble its native habitat of the Pacific Northwest of the United States.

I don't know how to feel about this. I'm hard pressed to name a contained scip accommodated with this much space. I imagine the Foundation could afford it, and you make the point that it needs this immersion; but, combined with containment procedures involving maintenance of a full-functioning house and monthly introduction of "100-500 small amphibians, reptiles, and rodents" with supporting insect populations, this makes me wary. Consult a veteran of this site to see if this works.
Speaking of which: Does it feed on these? Or is there another layer to the immersion? It's an interesting detail that begs an answer.

This description left me confused:

SCP-3XXX is an anomalous species of amphibious, five-legged cephalopod, most similar to octopi.

Five legs; similar to octopi (eight legs). I'm having a hard time imagining this… thing.
There are a number of octopoid genera this cephalopod may resemble. Picture your scip, and then find an octopus resembling it. Write down the common and scientific names of that octopus; and maybe, for reference, include a photograph of said octopus.

These are specifically high percentages:

Once subjects have lost 80-90% of their neural connections, they enter a catatonic state

I'd consult a neurologist to check if those numbers are accurate. You could also leave the percentages out and state that subjects eventually enter a catatonic state.
As it is, though, it's ambiguous enough to be safe.

The notes for test B are kinda silly:

We thought that SCP-3XXX would not attempt to get non-humans to ingest SCP-3XXX-1, turns out that being human isn't the criteria it operates on.

Senior Researcher Larange is testing whether SCP-1256 would change SCP-3XXX's predatory behavior. He would be convoluting the evidence of this test if he simply assumed SCP-3XXX had this before.

The time frame for the memory tests don't match the time frames outlined in the description:

After a period of time ranging from 14 to 30 hours, subjects experience a reversal of synaptic plasticity

Over the course of one week, neural pathways in the brains of victims of SCP-3XXX-1 deteriorate

After 10 minutes, D-73627's brain was flushed with CGF-650.

You should keep the tests consistent with the latter – not only to make them more interesting (tests over time), but also to make this thing less OP. To keep this from making other scips and medications irrelevant, you should establish the tradeoff: Normal amnestics are indiscriminate, but swift in administration; 3XXX-1 is precise, but protracted in effect. This is a unique tradeoff when it comes to amnestics.

I have a problem with the word 'approximately' here:

Approximately 1 trillion self-replicating biohybrid nanomachines

'Approximately' feels weird in the sentence before you go into exact measurements (3e-10 femtolitres is really precise). I recognize that the number would become approximate after the nano machines start self-replicating; but at that point, it makes more sense to say "produce this exact number of nano machines and then start self-replication." Either way, you should resolve this dissonance in demand.

Speaking of precision: the volume specifications for the substances used in LETHE-31 confuse me:

Each nanomachine would contain 3e-10 femtolitres of an ultra-potent SCP-3XXX-1 solution, 3e-10 femtolitres of a Class-A Hypnotic, and 3e-10 femtolitres of the CGF-650 compound.

3e-10 of a femtolitre equates to 3e-1 yoctolitre. Why you would use one over the other is complicated. I would ask someone who knows how to make scientific measurements whether this is how you'd write it.

Another precise number:

replicate themselves until they numbered 1000.

That is an oddly specific number. I figure there's a reason you use 1000 – expand on that reason. Don't use a number.

I hope you're still reading, because I have yet to summarize my feelings.
Here's what I think:

THIS IS AWESOME.

I take the time and effort to tear apart your draft because I see promise in this SCP. You've put a lot of thought into this scip, and it shows.

I was entranced by the proposal at the end; I had never even considered this possibility. It's reminiscent of the Autonomous Drone Insects featured in Black Mirror's "Hated in the Nation" – and the implications are even more dire. Leaving this as a proposal pending approval caps the grand, progressive narrative you've built around this little octopus.

Cleaning up this sentence from the containment procedures:

Within the chamber is The chamber contains a small house containing furnished with standard furniture, appliances, and other objects which would normally be found in an occupied house.

Restructing this sentence for better flow:

Thermal imaging cameras, alongside normal color vision cameras, are to be maintained within SCP-3XXX's containment chamber to monitor the position of SCP-3XXX.

I'm also unsure if "normal color vision cameras" are what they're called, although it gets the point across.

Not sure why 'various' is capitalized here. Also, 'these' instead of 'their' – this sounds more clinical:

During this time, various small amphibians, reptiles, and rodents are to be introduced to the enclosure, along with enough insects to maintain their these populations until the next cleaning period.

Making the ending of the containment procedures more succinct:

until its enclosure is ready for SCP-3XXX to be reintroduced reintroduction.

Doing the same with the beginning of the description – it's established that the comparison is being made between SCP-3XXX and the white-spotted octopus. Adding an 'a' in front of 'mantle,' and removing 'the' from 'bases of tentacles:'

The main difference between SCP-3XXX and the white-spotted octopus is the lack of a mantle; organs which would normally be located within the mantle of an octopus are instead distributed throughout the head, body, and the bases of tentacles.

It's unnecessary to say "is present" here – its existence is established by the very fact it protrudes. Additionally, I'd rephrase its ability to rotate as an action, because there's some ambiguity as to whether the head or the eyestalk is rotating:

An eyestalk is present protrudes upwards from the head, which can be and can rotate up to 300 degrees.

The latter change is subject to adjustment. The point is to make this about what the eyestalk does (i.e. protrudes and rotates).

Don't quote me on this, but I've heard the verb 'house' used in biology to describe anatomical structures containing organs – for example, the skull housing the brain. Bearing this in mind, I recommend changing the latter half of this sentence:

A beak is also present on the underside of the body, with housing a sharp tongue-like appendage residing within it.

I'm recommending these changes to the following paragraph for several reasons:

SCP-3XXX has possesses advanced camouflaging capabilities similar to those of the mimic octopus (Thaumoctopus mimicus). Though SCP-3XXX can imitate over 10 million colors and fifty (50) textures, it prefers to camouflage itself as strewn fabrics, pillows, rocks, and plastic bags. SCP-3XXX has also been observed hiding in dark areas rather than attempting to camouflage. It uses the suckers on its limbs to suspend itself from walls or ceilings when evading detection.

• Using active voice over passive voice not only establishes a clinical tone, it also comes across stronger – we like reading about people and objects that are doing things, rather than having done things. In this vein, I'd establish that SCP-3XXX uses its bodily functions to its advantage.
• I'd also reorder the ideas in this paragraph to connect them better. Here's the order I've presented above:
  • It camouflages
  • How it camouflages
  • It can hide in the dark (instead)
  • It suspends itself from walls (when evading – either through camouflage or hiding)
• “Almost every color” is not precise. I imagine the Foundation has tested this thing’s ability to camouflage, so they probably have a number (same as with texture). I’ve incorporated 10 million as an example, because that is more or less the number of colors we humans can perceive.
• 'Suckers' are the technical term for the "suction cups." It's a little jarring reading it on Wikipedia, but it's what's used, so I'd use it too.
• Finally, numbers like fifty are written out (necessitating the insertion of the numeral 50), and one suspends 'from' ceilings and walls, not 'on.'

Maintaining parallelism with the verbs here. Also, because I'm a sucker for fewer words, I would personally condense this part as follows:

with the ability to plan and execute complex plans, and can improvise in the event that its original plan is no longer viable proves unviable.

Same here:

SCP-3XXX also seems to be able to recognize faces, and has reacted reacting differently to certain researchers involved in its containment.

To keep with the idea presented here, I'd finish the comparison and mention the anomalous properties in another sentence. Also, active voice:

However, SCP-3XXX-1 is not used as a method of distracting or blinding SCP-3XXX uses this ink not to distract or blind predators, but to incapacitate its prey. SCP-3XXX-1 displays anomalous properties once a minimum of 1 ml has been ingested by a human subject.

This is a stylistic choice, but I think the convention is to write out single-digit numbers of people:

occupying homes lived in by persons numbering between one (1) and five (5).

Because you've established SCP-3XXX as a member of its species, you should refer to behavior in the wild in the past perfect tense:

SCP-3XXX has been was observed to wander through the forests

Cleaning up beginning and establishing another parallelism with 'while.' Also, toilets, sinks, and showers are artificial sources, so use them as examples:

When in its hunting period While hunting, SCP-3XXX must periodically douse itself with water be it from a toilet, sink, shower, etc from an artificial source (i.e. a toilet, sink, or shower) due to its amphibious nature.

His email address in the login credentials looks weird with the extra @. I assume this is a typo:

pcs.noitadnuof|egnarals#pcs.noitadnuof|egnarals

The center alignment of the date is bothersome. I'll accept it if there's a canonical or logical explanation for this, but otherwise, I'd align it to the left:

Scott R. Larange
Site-127 Senior Researcher
6/10/21

'Orient' would summarize this phrase. Additionally, "in the brain" and "replicate themselves" are redundant here:

a) determine where in the brain they were orient themselves through communication with other nanomachines, and b) replicate themselves until they numbered over 500

With the first, you establish these three methods as "means of distribution." You can save yourself the space and the effort of staying consistent by getting rid of the word after the ordinal:

The first means of distribution would introduce[…] The second method would involve[…] The third method would call[…]

You could also format this as a list, as you did with the phases of the Mnemosyne Protocol. That might look weird with how you're structured the proposal, though, so making the above changes will suffice.

This sentence confuses me:

LETHE-31 nanomachines could be remotely activated automatically or manually

'Remotely' and 'manually' feel like the antonyms, with 'automatically' being the real keyword here. I'd understand if you meant that only remote activation is automatic, but 1. It's still confusing and 2. Realistically, manual activation should also be automatic. Therefore, I'd reorder it thus:

LETHE-31 nanomachines could be automatically activated remotely or manually.

You may notice I've failed to include the last part of this sentence:

depending on the nature of the threat at hand.

That is because this phrase shows up twice, which would irk any reader. I've removed it here because options ('or') imply conditions ('depending').

Cutting this down:

When enacted, hundreds of Foundation satellites would begin transmitting a special signal to the LETHE-31 nanomachines.

By saying 'hundreds,' it feels like you're waving around how grandiose this scheme is. Larange wouldn't do this (it's unprofessional), you don't have to do this (it's patently bold), and the Foundation doesn't have to do this (it's unnecessary – from what I understand, only a dozen would be needed). Alternatively, it is left to the O5 Council to distribute resources (read: satellites) to this protocol; they'd either dedicate all satellites to this (yes, this is that important), or only so many and give them a special designation.
Furthermore, the definition of 'transmit' as used here involves a signal, so explicitly mentioning the signal is redundant. It also falls under the aforementioned "this-is-super-special" trap.

Too many gerunds spoil the sentence:

inducing auditory and visual hallucinations conjuring to conjure the targeted cognitohazard.

Used 'release' twice. Removing one:

the LETHE-31 would release the CGF-650 compound and release electrostatic signals to artificially induce the glymphatic system

I'd reorder this to connect the ideas presented:

This technology is theoretically possible, and has been achieved on a small scale testing environment (refer to tests 3XXX-G and 3XXX-H).

And to wrap up – it does not exist as the difference, it means the difference:

as it could be mean the difference between humanity prevailing and its assured destruction.

I didn't give you credit the first time through, but assigning this the threat level blue is a nice touch that illustrates the complicated role this scip fills.

Given how much space, time, and resources the containment chamber takes, I'd name it. Containment Chamber #3XXX comes to mind, but I'm neither sure of the convention nor your interest in that name. You wouldn't have to change much of your procedures, because you'd still want to describe this chamber in the document. Just incorporate it, and switch it out for "its enclosure" and "its environmental chamber" in a few key spots: For example:

SCP-3XXX is currently held in Containment Chamber 3XXX, a 25m x 25m artificial environment chamber at Site-127 built to resemble its native habitat of the Pacific Northwest of the United States.

transferred to a temporary holding chamber containing a minimum of 10 liters of open water while its environment chamber Containment Chamber 3XXX is cleaned.

it is to be administered anti-depression and anti-anxiety medication until its enclosure Containment Chamber 3XXX is ready

Personally, the eyestalk is messing with my image of this thing. It doesn't help that this makes me think of a flumph, which I have always associated with derp. Most bothersome to me, though, is the question left unanswered: How does this read us, we whom it exclusively preys? As an evolutionary development, I imagine it losing "eyesight" as we know it in exchange for a sensory organ that detects "consciousness." You can keep the stalk with an 'eye' on it if you want (though I'd do away with it), as long as you may make it more than just an eye.

Speaking of image: How I think this should look is subordinate to how you reveal it in your photographs. No amount of lobbying I do for word choice will match a good pic. I'd be interested in seeing your images, and helping if I can (spent three years in an art school, working with Adobe).

Once again, I'll point out how little this note for test B makes sense:

We assumed that SCP-3XXX would only target humans with SCP-3XXX-1. Turns out that being human isn't the criteria it operates on.

They'd just tested 1256 on this; they're expecting this scip to be affected. The conclusion shouldn't be "I guess it can target bees, too;" if I'm reading this right, the conclusion should be "it's susceptible to cognitohazards." It's also an opportunity to point out that this thing seeks humans because it knows we are sapient, which is a chilling revelation.

The graphics for the login sequence are garish, but symbolic. Though the colors seem a bit much, it serves as a visual indicator of something changing – the threshold we crossed between the little octopus you've described and the grand protocol you've conceived. Keep this; but, if you can, tone down the color.

Finally: It's important to recognize that people might not like how overpowered SCP-3XXX-1 is as an amnestic. It could read as a scip trying to one-up other scips. Allowing a substance this powerful to be as readily accessible as you've made also invalidates the lives lost in efforts to find it (3000 is the largest example). I see this as the hardest conceptual point to sell.
However, I've elected to ignore how overpowered the amnestic is in favor of keeping the Mnemosyne Protocol. This is awesome, because you make this little scip more than one would imagine. It's awesome because it's turning a human-hunter into a Thaumiel. And it's awesome because you can read in each proclaimed feature where it could all go wrong. It's a powerful tool, sure – but it could also be the catalyst of an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario. This would be the basis of a tale unto itself.