boeing 767
"Boeing 767"
standard united airlines livery
I think it would be better to get rid of "standard" and just say it's painted with "the United Airlines livery."
SCP-XXXX is painted with the standard united airlines livery, however no such record of it's flight number exists in the united airlines data bank.
This is an awkward sentence because the topic radically shifts. The first half is about the livery but then it suddenly whiplashes back to the flight number. I would recommend keeping the paint to its own sentence, and shifting the mention about the number next to, or in, the earlier sentence regarding the flight number.
On board SCP-XXXX are united airlines pilot and co-pilots Phil Davis, and Max Wilson. The two pilots will always be in the cockpit and have never been seen outside the cockpit.
I'd hesitate to call them United Airlines pilots since they sound more like anomalous entities locked inside the plane. Even though these might be the names on the uniforms, I would still recommend referring to them both as simply SCP-XXXX-1 or something similar, since they both have the same lines and have the same cognitohazard.
When engaged by test subjects the two will only respond with 10 different sentences.
Only one of these sentences is given and implied to have anomalous properties. I recommend clarifying this.
The sentence "please remain seated until the plane has landed" is a cognito hazard to anyone who has heard it
Cognitohazard is one word(yes even though the word processor thinks it's wrong). I also believe this sentence can be tidied up a little bit since it sounds awkward right now. I would recommend perhaps "The sentence "please remain seated until the plane has landed" is a cognitohazard that will affect subjects who hear it."
The phrase was only discovered through lip reading.
Two things. This sentence means that the other 9 sentences were discovered through other methods. Next, if this is supposed to be about the cognitohazard, then how would the cognitohazardous properties be noticed if no one hears the words?
Anyone who has heard the sentence if said by either pilot will be compelled to sit in one of the seats on board SCP-XXXX.
The either pilot line isn't really necessary. Now this is a compulsive SCP. It's not nearly significant enough for me to really mind but just know that generally, actions made through free will are far more interesting than actions made without free will. Also, other readers might lose interest the moment they read the word "compelled." I would recommend reconsidering the necessity of this part during revision, peer review.
Once SCP-XXXX has left the tarmac a spacial anomaly will occur and SCP-XXXX will then fly into another dimension. Exploration of this dimension is still ongoing.
How does SCP-XXXX come back to containment? This doesn't really make sense and I recommend fleshing it out more. Right now, this is bland and immersion breaking.
Such containment breach attempts include raming the hanger door head on, and attempting to convince onsite personnel to open the hanger doors.
Ramming is spelled wrong. Furthermore, ramming the hanger door head on has no clinical tone. I would recommend "attempting to physically breach the hanger doors." Also, how does SCP-XXXX attempt to convince personnel? It only speaks with 10 voice lines. This part needs to be reworked to have clinical tone and be consistent with what you've already written.
SCP-XXXX came into the foundations hands on march 20th ████. When hundreds of missing person reports were filed. All of the missing person reports kept coming from airports. People soon began reporting that the people were also disappearing from inside the same aircraft consistently united airlines flight ████.
This backstory is really messy. "Foundations hands on march 20th" should be "Foundation's custody on 03/██/████."
"All of the missing person reports kept coming from airports" could be improved tonally as "The source of these missing person reports was consistently found to be airports."
"People soon began reporting that the people were also disappearing from inside the same aircraft consistently united airlines flight ████" doesn't really make sense. Wouldn't authorities begin to act once they figured it was a problem with one specific airplane? After this brief history, you can't really just say "then the Foundation got it" without addressing this matter. Hundreds of missing people inside a single, identified plane can't just be hand-waved away. I recommend either dialing down how extreme the discovery was, or dedicating time to making a believable way the Foundation was able to get the civilian world to drop this issue.
