SCP Foundation

The lack of clinical tone in your article is quite severe.

The affected subject will start getting fidgety.

This is one example, and I'll try my best to catch the most problematic ones(not the only ones). However, I don't want to sacrifice giving you content feedback on your lines by focusing on the tone instead so we'll address it all here.

Remember that the in-universe, these articles are being written by detached, professional scientists who routinely interact with very dangerous anomalies. There's not really any room for colloquialisms or anything that could be misinterpreted or miunderstood. As such, the tone in these articles should come off as detached, and precise. Remember, as much as you are writing for us, the out of universe readers, you are also writing for other researchers, containment engineers and security officers in universe.

SCP-XXXX should be kept in a small cell on a 1972 wooden table along with a VHS player hooked up to a 1973 Television.

This is a form of unnecessary specification that I haven't seen before, but the logic arguing against it is still the same. There's in your article that states that containment of your SCP becomes more difficult if it is placed on a table that made in 1974, or 2012 or so on. I also don't see why this has to be attached to a television from that exact year since a more modern television could interact better with Foundation technology. You don't write that containment becomes more difficult in any other television. Furthermore, I don't really see why this would be attached a television at all since that's the only way this thing activates. If not being played, this SCP seems like it can just be placed in a locker and left alone.

During testing Class-D personnel should only play the VHS when told to do so.

This is assumed as part of universal testing procedure. No matter what situation, the D-Class should only (interact with SCP-XXXX) when told to do so. You don't need to say this at all.

Any observers on the testing should mute the room audio at least 10 seconds before it is played.

This part is relatively important on account of auditory effects and all that. However, this is a bit too specific and can be tightened down slightly to just say that audio has to be muted before your SCP is played.

In all, I think your containment procedures are too fluffed up. I recommend writing containment procedures similar to this:

SCP-XXXX is a 1973 VHS tape for the movie ████. When played it plays jazzy music identified to be played by the band ████.

I don't particularly see the reason why both the movie title and the band title are redacted. I don't feel as though knowing them would create a security risk, and I honestly might be better to better visualize this SCP if I did know.

"Jazzy music" has no clinical tone. I would recommend changing this part into "when played, SCP-XXXX will produce jazz music created by the band (insert band/black boxes here)."

I was also a little confused. This is a VHS for a movie. But when used, it only plays jazz music? I'm not really sure what you're trying to say with this difference and I would recommend clarifying this issue.

Anyone who hears this music will suffer from symptoms throughout the stages over a period of a week.

This is a bit wordy, and the tone is off. I would shorten this down to "individuals who hear this music will begin to suffer progressively worsening symptoms over the course of a week, as detailed below."

As part of this, I would also recommend adding the rate of stage progression to your stages. How long do subjects linger in stage 1, for example? And so on.

Stage 1: The subject will begin thinking nonstop about SCP-XXXX. They will beg to go to it, and even so much as to make a run whenever possible to reach its cell.

These sentences have no clinical tone. A more accurate description of this would be something along the lines of "subjects will become fixated on SCP-XXXX, and will repeatedly attempt to return to it, regardless of the risks involved in doing so."

This causes them to be severely depressed when not listening to the music of SCP-XXXX. However any contact with an affected subject and SCP-XXXX is forbidden.

This portion feels…out of place. "This" implies that the attempted runs to the cell are causing the depression when really, it is the fact that they're not listening to the music.

The subject is immediately hostile and will attempt to kill anyone nearby. It is unknown currently why this is.

This is a cliche. We'll go more into depth with this in the concept check.

Stage 2: The affected subject will start getting fidgety.

This has no clinical tone. A more accurate term would be "At this stage, subjects will become visibly anxious and distressed."

While the subject is in this state they are more agile and have tougher skin. By the end of a week in stage 2 subjects usually commit suicide.

This suicide aspect feels really out of place and shoved in. Is SCP-XXXX-1 the result of the corpse rising from the dead? Or does Stage 3 only occur with the survivors. Either way, I would recommend either clarifying this, or getting rid of the suicide impulse entirely. It doesn't really serve a purpose.

They have converted to SCP-XXXX-1.

This sounds off. "Subjects are referred to at this stage as SCP-XXXX-1."

Any attempts to contain SCP-XXXX-1 have immediately failed and most have no memory of trying to contain it. SCP-XXXX-1 is highly dangerous and should be terminated on spot if the subject reaches this stage. Because containment on SCP-XXXX-1 is currently impossible, requests for future experiments are pending.

The article crashed at this point. SCP-XXXX-1 is an impossible to contain, memory wiping, dangerous monster that needs to be terminated on the spot. This isn't interesting at all and feels like artificially implanted danger. I would recommend taking this ENTIRE draft to the ideas and brainstorming forum if this was supposed to be the primary aspect of your SCP. If this is not, then I recommend wiping this part out before beginning revisions.

ALL ATTEMPTS TO LET ANY SCP HEAR SCP-XXXX IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED, ANYONE ATTEMPTING THIS WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM THE 05 COUNCIL WILL BE TERMINATED ON SIGHT

This is also artificially implanted danger. The same advice as above applies here.

In regards to the interview as a whole, it's really too short to bring the article up beyond its current flaws. That being said, I would recommend checking the grammar and tone of it once more as you revise the draft as a whole.

In stage one, when you say subject is immediately hostile, do you mean the listeners will become hostile at someones touch, or the person touching them becomes hostile with them?

In the event someone attempts to forcibly escort the subject elsewhere will result in hostility. I'm pretty sure this is grammatically incorrect? (I'm sorry if it's actually right and I'm just an idiot.) Try In the event someone attempts to forcibly escort the subject elsewhere the subject will become hostile. Also, what do you mean by elsewhere. Away from the music? Away from wherever they are in the moment?

And lastly, what do you mean no longer human? Is it biological, physiological, psychological, etc? Why do people not remember it?

I hope these all make sense and help somehow. Sorry if I sound nit picky anywhere.