SCP Foundation

Thanks to my beta readers: Apoplexic, Captain Kirby, Draycott, Ember16, Modern_Erasmus, Ratsy, and Recursive.

According to the blog http://sumerianlanguage.tumblr.com/post/145273577158/sumerian-insults, Able's first insult roughly translates to idiot and literally means someone without a head in Sumerian.

According to Youswear.com, Pakhta means 'sad c**t' in Assyrian, and the rest of it basically means he wants donkeys to fornicate with her mother. I know Able's native tongue is Sumerian, but I had a hard time finding Sumerian swear words. Assyrian was the best I could do, and being a Mesopotamia language it's plausible he'd be fluent in it.

Happy April Fools and Easter Sunday to all!

The SCPop culture references peppered throughout the story serve only to pull me out of the otherwise passable action sequences, resulting in a thoroughly underwhelming tale.

This really overstays its welcome. The way this was written was funny at first, but gradually becomes annoying as it progresses. :/

"Ugh, you're just two hundred and fifty pounds of toxic masculinity, aren't you?"
Oh come on, you can't expect me NOT to upvote after a line like that!

Seriously, though, +1. I do feel it drags on a little bit near the end, but its not nearly enough to dampen my enjoyment of this tale.

Stuff like this, IMO, only really works if you hammer in the point well beyond where it reasonably needs to end, to the point where it loops back around to being funny. Good job.

I quite enjoyed this. It put me in mind of Squirrel Girl defeating Galactus for some reason.

No and Yes. +1 for being the first thing I've seen from the April 1st occasion.

That was a nice change of pace from overly long and overly pseudo-scientific texts.

I was laughing like a maniac the entire time. This goes without saying, but +1.

Able's the Worf of the SCP world isn't he?