Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
There should be a space in between these two lines.
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in an empty room, unplugged and locked at all times with one guard to ensure no unauthorized (level one or lower) entry.
Why an empty room, and not a standard containment locker? Is there really a reason to give such a small object so much space?
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a a sound proof box within a sound proof chamber, with two guards at the entrance to ensure no unauthorized (level two or Lower) entry to SCP-XXXX is to occur.
A lot of issues with this:
- The bolded part is obvious. There should be no unauthorized access to any SCPs. Classifying it by level makes little sense, though — often, there will be a level 2/XXXX clearance (ie, a research technician working with a certain object). I'd remove the bolded part completely.
- I'd really not seeing why it's not a containment locker. It can be a sound proof containment locker. These are all together, all guarded. It's much more resource-efficient.
Under no circumstances
Never bold, underline, or capitalize things for emphasis in an SCP document. These are already instructions that should be followed to the letter.
In the event of a containment breach regarding SCP-XXXX; all on site personnel must put on sound cancelling headgear when possible.
- Firstly, "regarding SCP-XXXX" doesn't make sense. I'd say involving.
- Wrong semi-colon use. That can just be a comma.
SCP-XXXX appears to be a retro vinyl record player
Unless the anomaly is specifically that is ISN'T what it appears to be, just say "SCP-XXXX is a retro vinyl whatever"
SCP-XXXX also has what is believed to be a spill that bleached into the wood on the top of it.
Completely irrelevant.
When SCP-XXXX is in the vicinity of any sapient individuals, regardless if anomalous or not.
- This is a sentence fragment.
- The bolded part should not be included. Firstly, that sort of absolutely statement cannot be made about every anomalous individual — the whole point of them is that they don't obey the laws of the world and cannot be grouped into one category. Secondly, it implies a shit ton of crosstesting, and the destruction of countless humanoid SCP objects, which most readers would absolutely not be cool with.
SCP-XXXX will then begin to emit a music that varies from individual to individual, though subjects reports suggest the music is always their favorite.
"SCP-XXXX will begin to play music, which will always correlate to the preference of the individual it is exposed to."
It is also noted that when individuals listen to the said music, they are then rendered completely inert and will not break from this state until completely removed from SCP-XXXX vicinity and are unable to hear the music anymore.
- You don't need the bolded part. Those are just random fluff words.
- The underlined part doesn't sound right. "Removed from the vicinity of SCP-XXXX" would be better.
When individuals remain inert in SCP-XXXX's vicinity for fifteen minutes, an entity, hereby designated as SCP-XXXX-1 will spawn, which is a shrouded black figure presumed to be two meters in height.
This sentence is a horribly awkward, confusing mess. I'd break it up into two sentences, at the very least. Also, how is it "presumed" to be 2 meters in height? Is it 2 meters in height, or no?
SCP-XXXX-1, once spawned, will then begin to head to each inert individual and begin transforming them into
- What does "begin to head to each inert individual" mean? I've been staring at that phrase for like ten minutes and I still can't figure it out.
- Way, way too little detail on the transformation. This a scientific organization — they will at least to some degree try to figure out how this transformation can occur, and definitely describe that it looks like.
either a disc, vinyl record, or a cassette tape, hereby called SCP-XXXX-1-A, SCP-XXXX-1-B, and SCP-XXXX-1-C.
I'm not seeing a reason to designate all these as separate things. They all have the exact same properties, basically.
Addendum:
This should be bolded.
After incident- 01,
this sounds like an artificial way to add danger to this skip. I'm not seeing anything interesting behind this incident.
Furthermore no one may continue any further testing or enter SCP-XXXX's containment without level four clearance or higher.
I'd suggest checking out this guide on clearances. Level-4 are generally site directors or administrators — they have no business here.
Also, this directly contradicts your containment procedures.
It has also been noted that even when not plugged in SCP-XXXX still activates when in the presence of a sapient individual who is capable of hearing SCP-XXXX.
So… why station guards by it?
Discovery Log:
Bold this.
and reached it to site ██.
You can't use the word "reached" like this.
Two animals one a canis lupus familiaris and the other a felis catus.
Commas, my dude.
The Guards
No reason for this capitalization.
Interview
Your formatting is incorrect. There are templates available in the How to Write an SCP guide.
"I see your previous friends didn't tell you, no I won't be answering any of your damn questions."
This sounds really cartoonish. I can't imagine someone actually saying this.
"Fine. When I
He gives in very easily. Also, we learn nothing new or interesting from this interview.
"Ugh let's just get this over with… Mutters I hate it when they do this."
Again, I can't actually imagine someone saying this. Also, do what?
