Okay, here we go, clearing out forum backlog. This is a quick read, here are my thoughts:
Quibbles:
- SCP-3911 is to be kept locked in a mechanical safe and is to be kept at least 5 meters away from all types of computers and electronics. > Why? It's stated in the description "SCP-3911 may be handled without special procedures when not around computerized electronics" (which should be in the containment, not the description) and that it only manifests the anomaly when installed in a computer. Why is this safe needed at all?
- The safe in which SCP-3911 is kept is accessible by a passcode only available to level 3 research personnel and higher. > "Level-3 or higher research personnel
- This passcode will be changed to a new random passcode at the end of each week. > "The passcode will be changed every week."
- In the event of a containment breach that does NOT result in any of the four possible types of a 3911-11 instance, is simply to be placed back into its safe with no actions taken. > XXXX-11? Also, don't use allcaps for emphasis.
- Further, three methods of remedy exist depending on the type of 3911-1 instance that occurs. > maybe "additionally", not "further". Also, the note about the remedies isn't a containment procedure, so that should go in the description.
- have extinguished, and stay extinct > "have ceased, and do not resume" or something. The language you use is frequently more on the flowery side than clinically scientific.
- confined until their deaths > I'm not a big fan of this, mainly because keeping someone confined for so long represents a substantial waste of Foundation resources if alternatives are available. That said, how did the Foundation figure out this was a "remedy" anyway?
- There's a lot more but I ended up skim-reading from that point.
So, I'll be honest, this doesn't really interest me much. We have a lot of creepy video games already, and this doesn't really present much in the way of novelty because it's just the same "you play the game, and a bunch of random bad stuff happens to you". I lost interest in reading at:
Otherwise, the subject will be driven to kill themselves and will resort to extreme measures to do so. After approximately 3-6 days, if the subject has not been able to kill themselves, they will collapse dead. Inspection of the corpse after death shows that the subject’s cause-of-death is always a combination of extreme exhaustion, stress, and fatigue.
So you know, the "it makes you crazy until dead" approach isn't particularly interesting on its own anymore, given how many times SCPs with that effect have been written. Take a look at the articles tagged with "compulsion". Furthermore, the SCP's effect forcing someone to do something tends to be a bit of a lame narrative, since things are more interesting if there's a struggle involved, and/or if the people instead do terrible things of their own volition. Consider reading through the further discussion on the narrative issues of compulsion and addiction effects.
I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft.
