SCP Foundation

Note: I correct the given mistake only once. If you do not use the metric system, I will only make a single comment about it, even if it appears again in the rest of the article. If the draft has many language problems, I will only correct the most glaring ones.

All instances that manifest from SCP-XXXX are to be deposed of

Disposed of*

A Foundation disinformation team is to monitor the internet and social media for accounts of fruit in the Earth's Stratosphere and Mesosphere.

All of it? That sounds like a huge task. Even if you want to do that (which I doubt is necessary by the way, meteorites burn up in the atmosphere so why not fruit?), use a webcrawler instead.

All changes regarding the pattern and frequency of SCP-XXXX are to be reported to Dr. Pratten.

Avoid naming specific personnel. If you name someone specifically but they are unavailable in-universe, personnel won't know who to address instead.

Instances do not possess the ability to decompose naturally, whether in zero gravity or under lab conditions on Earth.

Interesting, although gravity won't really matter anyway, since decomposition has more to do with biochemistry (cell death) than whether there's gravity or not.

Although the substances can instigate death on any persons, they do not appear to affect the individual consuming instances of SCP-XXXX-1.

Try to phrase this clearly:

''Although said substances are usually toxic to humans, consuming instances of SCP-XXXX-1 does not seem to be harmful.''

D-5963 began to levitate off the floor, effectively reversing their relationship with Earth's gravitational pull. Attempts to retrieve D-5963 failed as they flew through an open skylight and into the lower atmosphere.

Whoa, wait. They ran a test where they knew it induces anti-gravity, but they didn't use testing environment with a ceiling? This is a massive oversight and makes Foundation personnel look like irresponsible idiots.

The corpse of D-5963 was found 30km from the initial testing ground. Autopsies suggested that the subject expired due to asphyxiation and hypothermia. All planned and current tests involving D-class personnel are to be terminated effective immediately.

Why? Just fire the person that conducted the test for extreme incompetence and test in an enclosed space.

So it's competently written, but that test was a massive fuckup that should never have happened. The tone is generally on point and the concept is interesting, but underdeveloped.

How does it induce anti-gravity? Read up on decomposition and the properties of gravity or consult an expert witness in order to make the science semi-plausible.

The monkey gives it some backstory, but it doesn't feel like the draft was written with that in mind. It feels like a footnote where it should be integral to the story. Where did the fruit come from? How exactly does it reverse gravity? Why is the nicotine and cyanide relevant? How is the monkey still alive? Why did the Foundation make no effort to find this out?