Okay, took a look at this since I saw this on page 3 with no replies. Here are my thoughts:
Definitely not ready for the mainsite. From a quick 10-second reaction, there's a fair number of things that need addressing.
- Definitely not Safe class if it needs to be provided things/fed on a regular basis. If you can't shove it in a locker and expect it to be fine, automatic Euclid.
- Why does this thing need to have a 7 meter by 5 meter exactly containment? 7 meters is almost 22 feet, taller than a 2 story building. That's a pretty big enclosure. If nothing terrible will happen if the cell is 5 by 8 or 5 by 6, there's no need to require specifics.
- "SCP-XXXX is not allowed to leave its containment area under any circumstance." > this can be assumed. Take this out.
- "Staff are allowed to visit SCP-XXXX as they please, but must be briefed on its anomalous properties before engaging with SCP-XXXX" > yeah, no. Information liability, since ideally only the people who are briefed because they're assigned to the SCP-XXXX case should be allowed access to SCP-XXXX. Just briefing people doesn't ensure that they're reliable or well-trained for handling this thing.
- "as well as having a background check to be sure SCP-XXXX does not come in contact with any known animal abusers." > can be taken out if you follow the previous note.
- "of the persian breed, with black fur and orange eyes." > capitalize Persian, though a couple of breeder and hobbyists sites seem to indicate that true Persian cats have blue or yellowy eyes.
- Generally, the number (#) numeration is used for extreme precision measurements that can be fatal if misinterpreted, like drug prescriptions. Alternatively, it's for legal reasons to avoid ambiguity. You don't need to do that with easy to count numbers like one.
- Don't refer to an SCP object/entity as "the SCP". In-universe, "SCP" refers to the containment procedures.
- Don't refer to an individual as a "subject" unless you've established the experimental protocol they're being subjected to. If there's no research design or observation ongoing, they're not a subject of anything and shouldn't be called such.
- "After approximately four (4) to seven (7) minutes after becoming unconscious, a ghost like instance" > sounds like the ghost was the unconscious thing here. Problematic phrasing.
- And so on.
I personally would have probably downvoted midway into the first interview part, but definitely would have cemented the downvote at:
Entity is extremely hostile towards D-1736, and appears invulnerable to conventional weaponry, killing █ security staff in order to get to D-1736.
I've seen the formula with "this thing that seemed otherwise harmless IS ACTUALLY SUPER DANGEROUS AND KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE!!" too many times. It comes off as overdramatic and kind of breaks the tone for the piece if you're just going to do a full 180 from cute/lighthearted to just giving us a blacked-out body count. I'm honestly really tired of the body count addendum.
Overall… it's a cat that can talk and does weird things to people by knocking them out first. I'm not entirely certain about why Lazarus is involved (since all I remember about him from the biblical history in my humanities is that he died and Jesus brought him back to life) though this would probably be more a Jesus cat? And I don't know how well that would do, especially since we've already got fried chicken Jesus if I recall correctly, and we have a ton of cat SCPs as well.
I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft.
