unless directed to do so by Doctor Nichols
What if Dr Nichols dies? This should probably be "senior researcher" or something, entrusting care of an SCP to only one person isn't a good idea.
2 guards on the entrance door and a guard in the control room
This is a lot of guards, I think either this is serious overkill or the SCP has fallen into the "human who fights good" pitfall. This applies to all the stuff about tasers and equipment too, it feels like too much.
and a guard in the control room
This sentence is confusing to me. I think it should be "with a guard" rather than and.
Also, what control room? Where did the control room come from? You haven't mentioned it before now.
A-3 or B-2 or higher
This is a list, it should be "A-3, B-2, or higher" or "A-3, B-2 or higher"
make SCP-███ fall an unconscious state
This doesn't read right. "Must render SCP-XXXX unconscious" maybe? I'm not sure how to fix this sentence.
You've suddenly changed tense here.
What's being kept in storage? The way the sentence is written it sounds like the guard.
when the Overheat Alarm has been off.
This doesn't make sense. "Set off", maybe? "Activated" instead of off?
shoot a rapid-acting tranquilizer on the subject.
This doesn't make sense either. "At the subject"? "Apply a tranquilliser to the subject"?
approved by Doctor Richardson.
Same as before, if Doctor Richardson dies no one can do any experiments.
Doctor ████ requested for SCP-███ to support the wounded or sick at Medical Bay. Vigilance still must be taken. Request Denied
This should go at the bottom of the page.
"Vigilance must be taken" doesn't seem necessary, I'm sure they know.
I don't like using "he" and "him" for an SCP. It might read better if you swap them out for "it".
Grammatically incorrect,makes it sound like his eyes were born there. Maybe start a new sentence.
but in his personal journal, his age is ███
Maybe something like " it claims its age is", you've written "his age is" twice in a row and I find it a little jarring
is from the mid-20s
"from the" not needed here.
has a somewhat friendly and has a calm character.
"Is somewhat friendly and has"
has gotten their awareness in April
Doesn't make sense. "Foundation were made aware of SCP-XXXX in April" might be better
sights of seeing a “Demon” or a “Strange light” or an “Angel”
"sights of seeing" is kind of redundant, you only one or the other.
This is a list and should be separated with commas. "'A demon', 'a strange light' or 'an angel'"
It's possible that SCP-XXX is linked to -1 and -2.
What does this mean? I don't understand.
subject is based on his mood change
The subject of what? You don't mention any abilities the SCP has until after this sentence so it doesn't make sense.
is classified to be angelic like form
an angelic form
I don't like this at all. I don't see the foundation calling anything "angelic", maybe "resembles stereotypical angel" or something, I don't know. Same with demonic form.
If SCP-████ is ever to breach containment
This sentence is about containment and should be in your containment procedures.
I think you need to explain that each form has multiple stages before you start listing off the stages. At this point I was barely aware your SCP even had multiple forms, never mind what they are.
the individual will be cured or resurrected.
Remember powerful doesn't mean interesting. This SCP is a fairly boring "powerful humanoid", there's no character or personality to attach to.
subject could also
I think this should be "can also" for consistent tense
Although a person who has been resurrected will show symptoms of Amnesia.
"Although" shouldn't be there
remedy of Lewis’ exotic abilities
Lewis? This is an SCP, not a human. "Its abilties" or "the SCP's abilities".
They're anomalous, not "exotic"
The Foundation aren't friends with your SCP, to them it's a dangerous creature. When you're writing keep in mind they're scientists documenting anomalous abilities.
see why in SCP-████-A-2
Not needed
glare at this stage
Not sure what you mean here, glare is an angry stare. Maybe "glow"?
His agility is significant moving up to [DATA EXPUNGED].
More super-powerful human stuff, it's just not interesting any more. There's too many SCPs who can lift [DATA EXPUNGED] tonnes on the sight for this to work.
shield can be taken damage
Can take damage
When evolved
Like during the 'evolving' process? When did we start calling this 'evolving'?
If ████ has been harmed
Always put SCP-XXXX or SCP- ████ not just the number. Unless these bars are someone else, at which point who or what is this and why hasn't it been mentioned before now?
This will cause [DATA EXPUNGED]
An effect so powerful the higher ups have decided it has to completely expunged from the record? That's a little unbelievable.
Here's an essay on when and when not to expunge/redact data. This article suffers a little from expunge/redaction overuse.
as a harmful or useful weapon.
Just "as a weapon". All weapons are harmful and useful.
Please alert Doctor █████
Again, specific personnel won't work. If Dr Black-Bars dies I guess we're all screwed?
This whole 'B' section is just "it becomes a super powerful monster that kills really good". Unfortunately the site has a lot of those already, this doesn't seem necessary.
I don't have time to go through the rest line by line but I'll quickly skim through.
"pills that can cure anything" isn't going to fly on the site either, they're too powerful and just not interesting enough.
SCP-XXXX-2 seems to be a rock that makes you ill. Again, so what? There's nothing to make me as the reader invested in that.
SCP-XXXX-3 is a rock that kills you. I don't understand why it's restricted. Thing that kills you is another cliché and there's a lot of unnecessary expunging of data.
Test log A: Kind of boring dialogue on the part of the SCP. It's character isn't interesting.
Test log B: I don't see why they would put an agent in a room with an SCP as dangerous as this, D-class is definitely the right choice. I don't why the foundation would decide to shoot it. And the SCP would not be given access to it's file. The D-class rebellion feels a bit forced too, as does the change into A-2.
Test Log C: Why are the foundation censoring swear words? More unnecessary expunging plus a vague warning.
