SCP Foundation

Hello all! First time writing an SCP after being a long time fan of reading other peoples SCP's :) Please critique me!! But please keep your comments constructive, i don't mind if you don't like it but please be nice ;-;

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/zaxiadus

i didn't know whether to find a random SCP number or not so I just inputted a random number

i haven't read through all SCP's either so not sure if this is similar to something already existing

i love writing though so overall i just wanted feedback on whether my writing style followed guidelines and if everything made sense!

if this gets quite a bit of positive feedback i'll go hunt for a picture to include :>

thank you for taking time out to read it!!

I moved your thread summary content to the first post and trimmed it above, OP, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn

Okay, this is a quick read because I'm swamped in requests and this fell to page 4 with no replies. Here are my thoughts:

First off, the formatting is sloppy and that in itself can merit insta-downvotes. Please use the templates on the How to Write an SCP Guide to get proper bolded headers.

The containment is highly problematic because you have a lot of details that you don't really need. Why are the measurements "6 m x 8 m x 10 m" needed? 6 meters is about 19 feet, almost as high as a 2-story building. At that point, it's almost a small warehouse, not a chamber. Furthermore, if nothing terrible will happen if one of the dimensions is, say, 7 meters, there's no need to require specifics. Additionally, if you blank out information, how is anyone supposed to know what to do? The containment procedures are important instructions that everyone handling the object should be aware of. Also, who is Dr. ██████ and why are they the only person who can give permission? It's a security liability to have so much depend on just one person, who can easily be unavailable or indisposed. I say take that out entirely. There's a fair bit more, but it start, I recommend reading this guide on containment to get a feel for how to write more logical, resource-conserving procedures.

With regards to the concept… it's pretty bad. Right from the start:

SCP-4090 is a white humanoid figure of unknown origin. It appears to be 240 cm (7’9’’) tall and 60 kg (132 lbs), with no visible sensory organs. The upper body and appendages of SCP-4090 are shrouded with a grey gaseous substance (SCP-4090-1).

You don't need the non-metric measurements… the Foundation works only with metric. Furthermore, there's no need to note "unknown origin", and the use of the word "shrouded" is too flowery to come off as clinical. The rest of your description is ultimately just a bunch of details about its various powers and effects, more like a video game boss than a professional scientific report.

Remember that humanoids are actually among the most difficult types of articles to write successfully; if you're really set on writing one, then first take a look at the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.

I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more interesting

One thing I noticed is that the "minor" instances of SCP-4090 are left uncontained, because they were deemed harmless. No, stop right there. The foundation is an organization that contains anomalous objects for more reasons than the harm they cause humanity. They contain anomalous objects so they don't interact with average people, and cause mass panic.