Would you write me some critiques?
There is the link: http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/feather-entity
The Xeram himself
Would you write me some critiques?
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» Would you write me some critiques?
Summary:
So i wrote this SCP but i am not sure if it fits SCP theme
Spelling, Punctuation, Grammar: I find this severely lacking in clinical tone. However, this still appears to be in its early stages, so I'll hold off on that.
Object Class: I'd rate this thing as Euclid. If it's a sentient, sapient entity, it is unpredictable and could alter its behavior to escape containment.
Special Containment Procedures: This simply will not do. You'll need to define the size of the room, and have a device for feeding it that does not allow it to escape. You need a protocol for getting it back inside if it escapes. You need to be creative here, which is the point of the procedures. They are not simply Containment Procedures, they are Special Containment Procedures.
Description: I mean its accurate, but its… short. You could stand to go into more detail. What was it doing when they found it? Does it do more than simply beg for food? How can pencils be so adorable?
Addenda: The various forms of the SCP should be in a list format, displaying its progression from form to form after certain stimuli occur.
Final Thoughts: I really like the pictures you included. All images must be properly licensed. This seems awfully incomplete. But darn, this pencil monster is cute.
wait so that was joke or what? : D
The Xeram himself
It's not a joke, just a placeholder, to keep the author from getting impatient, and also to remind me that is have something to finish.
Addenda- can you please describe how should i do this?
The Xeram himself
I'd suggest a test log: Describe the stimulus, and then XXXX's reaction. Example:
Stimulus: SCP-XXXX was left alone for 20 hours
Response: SCP-XXXX evolved a "baby form" (insert description of form here)
(image of form in collapsible)
Collapsible code here:
[[collapsible show="Text here" hide="more text here"]]
Your picture goes here
[[/collapsible]]
you mean, like i should make table for it?
The Xeram himself
Let's take this to #site19, we're spamming the forums.
EDIT: But yeah, a table would look neater and more professional.
Did you get the concept checked in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before starting the draft, as you were told to do in your last draft thread? It doesn't look like your concepts have improved and that makes reviewers hesitate to want to help you. An author that ignores feedback rarely gets more feedback.
Furthermore, please follow the sandbox guidelines and name your sandbox after your username, not the draft title. Unless you're planning on changing your username to Feather Entity, it's unclear based on title who owns that sandbox.
Of course! I knew i forgot something. well thank you but isnt that forum just for ideas? or i can send drafts there?
The Xeram himself
Instructions on how to use that forum are here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1019200/how-to-use-this-forum-ideas
Please read them. That forum is for ideas only. Your drafts are currently too conceptually problematic to merit working on. You should first make sure that the idea you want to write up is solid enough to draft.
okay
The Xeram himself
/forum/t-5737302/would-you-write-me-some-critiques#post-
page revision: 7, last edited: 17 Nov 2020 06:16
