SCP Foundation

This is my first SCP I've written and I just wanted some feedback on if there is any change that I need to fix about it or what I did wrong with this SCP (To help me write a new one).

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/vincenzoclaw

Okay, giving this a quick look since it's on page 3 with no replies. Here are my thoughts:

• "held in a locked room guarded by one security personnel" > personnel is plural. You want "one security personnel member" or just "one security guard"
• "Only those with Level 2 clearance or lower are allowed inside its chamber as long as they wear the eye covering masks provided" > kind of over complicated and overly casual. Try: "Access to the chamber requires Level-2 clearance. All personnel entering the chamber must wear provided eye cover masks."
• "Under no circumstances should any SCP" > SCP refers to the containment procedures, "SCP object" or "SCP entity" would be the thing(s) in containment.
• "with functional eyes be closer than 50 meters to SCP-XXXX's containment chamber." > "All anomalous entities with functional eyes must be kept at least 50 meters from SCP-XXXX's containment chamber."
• Don't bold text for emphasis.
• I stopped doing a close read at that point because all the little errors kept sticking out to me and it was hard to read through the rest smoothly. The description isn't much better—you've got a mix of too-complicated wording and things that don't seem to make sense. 0.5 meters is over a foot and a half: that's a pretty huge piece of paper. Also, how would anyone be able to tell that a 6 or 7 year old drew this? Plenty of younger kids are capable of drawing stick figures.
• I find it hard to believe that the Foundation would be able to obtain the information about "Any and all injures such as being shot at or being stabbed toward the subject affected by SCP-XXXX will not occur". Why on earth would a researcher just decide "so this person seems to go catatonic when affected, let's shoot them and stab them"?
• I really don't like SCP articles that end with a body count and sloppy expungment. Pretty much none of "Immediately after the two SCP-XXXX-2's were created, the two began to [DATA EXPUNGED] which resulted in 26 deaths before [DATA EXPUNGED]." feels workable to me. There's not enough context for the reader to reliably fill in what happened here, which for all we know could be a mad dance party or a game of mini golf from hell. I recommend reading over this guide on interesting expungment for some tips.

I personally don't really like this conceptually. It's a piece of paper that does extremely painful things to victims because… reasons? Why does it exist at all? Is its sole purpose just to cause pain to people? Seems a little shallow in terms of magnitude and meaningful-ness.

I say get the core concept polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before trying to work on the draft further.