Hello, I'd like some reviews on my draft before I start working on the log, that way I can finalize the main part then move on the log
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/dl-baryonyx
Thanks for taking your time to review and criticize my SCP
It’s decent enough but I feel as though it could do with a little bit of story behind the chasm as how it was possible that the creatures could survive cause I don’t want to read about the chasm I want to read what happened in the chasm
I've got some time.
Let's give it a read:
First off, do you have permission to use that picture? You must make sure the image you use is CC compliant or that you have permission to use it if it is copyrighted.
SCP-XXXX is currently contained in site-███
This is an immediate downvote for most people. There's very few cases where the site needs to be blackboxed. Unless it is necessary for the SCP for the site number to be blackboxed, just stick a number in here.
which is currently set up under the guise of a petroleum processing company.
Is there any reason for this?
No personnel without at least level 3 clearance are to allowed access to site-XXX.
So there's no maintenance, janitorial, security or majority of researchers allowed into this site? For a Euclid object this seems excessive.
A live cow has to be thrown into the chasm once every 2 weeks to ensure that SCP-XXXX's fauna doesn't die out.
" A live cow has to be thrown into the chasm" is not clinical tone. It should be a long the lines of "A live cow is to be fed to SCP-XXXX once every 2 weeks"
SCP-XXXX is a chasm located in a remote area of Scotland, the length and depth of SCP-XXXX are unknown.
Why? I can't imagine it's that hard to find this out considering technology used to map caves and deep sea chasms. is this because it's anomalous or some other reason?
SCP-XXXX's interior is very dark and claustrophobic
Claustrophobic isn't a term that should be used here. Are you saying that generally spaces in this chasm are quite small? Claustrophobic is used to describe someone who suffers from claustrophobia, I believe it's only ever informally used to describe a location.
the flora inside SCP-XXXX is minime due
minimal*
SCP-XXXX's fauna contains a group of various insect
insects*
all of those instances
these*
It is unknown how the colonies managed to survive from the Carboniferous era to our time
to the present*
researchers have theorized that the colonies underwent an hibernating state for several eons and managed to stay alive.
aeon* though that's not a scientific term, you shoudl be measuring in years not "aeons"
The rest doesn't really have any glaring issues but it's not really adding much to the article.
Summary:
Well the biggest flaring issue above all is that the idea is both rather boring and not anomalous. Creatures having survived longer than was previously thought is something that happens IRL though obviously not for this amount of time but it's not out of the realms of possibility.
The idea also isn't particularly interesting. It's really old giant bugs that live in a chasm. There's nothing about that which really makes it particularly interesting as an SCP.
There's also a few grammar and tone issues with the draft.
I'd advise to go back to the drawing board and this one and think about why this is anomalous as currently I'm not sure what about it is anomalous other than how the creatures survived but I'm not too sure why that would be something the Foundation would consider to need containment (and be a Euclid SCP at that, at most this is Safe).
I thought it was clear enough in the article that it's not the creatures that are anomalous, it's the chasm. The air pressure, amount of oxygen in the air etc of the Carboniferous stayed the same in the chasm, the creatures are just there for additional features.
As for the grammar issues, I'm not a native English speaker and I didn't really feel like making my SCP a foreign.
Also the image is just there has a placeholder it will be changed or removed when I'm done with my SCP
I thought it was clear enough in the article that it's not the creatures that are anomalous, it's the chasm. The air pressure, amount of oxygen in the air etc of the Carboniferous stayed the same in the chasm, the creatures are just there for additional features.
Considering it's a chasm and it's not known how deep it is, I again can't see this being out of the realms of possibility. The fact the Foundation don't seem to have done any research into this kind of doesn't help me believe it's anomalous. I really can't see the Foundation wasting time and resources on this if the only thing that might be anomalous is the air pressure and air content, that's again not particularly anomalous.
More to the point, that's still not interesting, it's just a chasm with ancient bugs in it. There's nothing else to that idea.
As for the grammar issues, I'm not a native English speaker and I didn't really feel like making my SCP a foreign.
You don't have to make a foreign SCP but you do need to ensure the grammar is correct. I appreciate you're not a native English speaker but this is the English site so you will be expected to make sure the grammar and spelling is correct.