First of all, you often move from metric to imperial measurements, using inches when you should be using centimeters, which is a problem. Just a small thing, easy to fix.
The concept and execution you have here is interesting, but if I'm being honest, I don't quite get what you're going for. Whatever story you're trying to get across is getting lost in the sheer amount of information you've included. I'm unsure what you're trying to convey - is the story about this thing creating people, or is it that the Foundation is trying to determine that? If it's neither, then whatever you're going for is just completely lost and I can't find it.
I think you need to decide what direction you want to take the story of this, look at what you have, and take out anything that doesn't help you explain that endgoal. As it is, you've got an interesting piece that I can't find any purpose in.
Good luck.
