SCP Foundation

Heh, brilliant.
Reminds me a fair bit of Bob Howard and Capital Laundry Services

Alright, this is a tale that I wrote up back in August but never posted. After receiving some positive feedback in the chats, I decided to throw it up.

You had me at "…make the Cray look like a Trash-Eighty…"!

I want to like this, but it feels…lacking, somehow. No vote.

Technician Downs; first line of defence against E-AIDS.

Now I want to see some of those scripts :)

"Hello, tech support? I think my PC is infected with a virus from Mars. Again."
"How do you know it's from Mars?"
"It asked me if I could give it the phone number of the guy at NASA who drives the Curiosity rover. When I said no it started to sulk."
"Have you tried rebooting the computer?"
"I tried to, but the keyboard grew spider legs and ran away."
"Where is it now?"
"Just a minute, I'll check … It's humping the aspidistra in our break room."
"Er … are you sure that's an aspidistra? We did have a plant SCP reported missing this morning…"

I like it, but it's a little too boring. The speaker seemed more bored to be there than me. I'm sorry, but no vote.

E. I decided it's too boring.

You forgot to cover where they'll be placed in relation to all the weird shit the foundation has sitting around.
+1 though

It's funny, but it's way too informal to be an actual job orientation, and it sounds like the speaker is talking to a bunch of junior high kids instead of people with multiple computer science degrees. (And who goes to a job orientation wearing a shirt with mustard stains on it?)

As someone who works in tech support, +1.