Hmm. I suppose the title could either be Louie Armstrong's What a Wonderful World, or Psalms 23:2:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
I'm still not interested in it.
e: Past Roget this comment is terrible. I do find the general thrust of the story to be an interesting one, but nothing is really adequately explained. Each one of the vignettes could be a nice story segment if they were fleshed out more but now they feel rather bare. I think this story failed to grab my interest here then and now because it lacks any real significant detail or personality to engage the reader.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I think much of the beginning is fat that can be easily trimmed, with the green being fragmented in until the very end where it's paragraphs of green.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
So, why didn't the cameras shut themselves off again, either automatically because of too much green in the room, or as the result of pressing the big red button?
Also I am left with too many questions for a contest that's supposed to answer them. What home, why? The ending is ominous but doesn't really explain anything, and would work better as the end of the first part of a larger tale than the end of a shorter one.
I liked the smoldering bodies thing, through. It's an interesting way to transmit the effect, and is dangerous and difficult to contain enough to justify the in-universe hype around 447.
See, this 447 tale gets me thinking. Frankly, it's hard to write about it without going either underwhelming or obtuse, but I think you did a good job.
if your reading this your gay
I liked this answer because it gives out even more questions. Plus, thank you for the idea. Thanks to you I just remembered why I visited this site and joined in the first place.
I'm pretty sure this would be a bad idea since it breaks the format but I like little details (and besides, in my opinion the flow was already broken when the text turned green) - what if you turned the green text's font into Verdana?
The only reason I didn't upvote is that I couldn't understand why the Foundation would want to keep this secret. Why wouldn't this effect of 447 just be in the main article?
I enjoyed this one quite a bit more than the others. It has enough mystery, but still explains what's going on fairly well. It's not incredibly nihilistic, and it's not obtuse. I genuinely think this one deserves more love than it got.
