SCP Foundation

So, this probably sounds a teensy bit melodramatic, but I'm not exaggerating when I say that Don Quixote is my hero.

For me, he is by far and wide the most important character in fiction; his mad and pointless quest to live a life of chivalrous virtue in a world where "evil brings profit and virtue none at all" speaks to me in ways I cannot even begin to express (as does his endless string of failures to accomplish even the most trivial of virtuous tasks). The fact that Cervantes' original story ends with him dying — dejected, feverish, alone and broken — is, to me, one of the most painful truths fiction has ever had the courage to deliver on my doorstep.

Okay, yeah. That sounds a tad maudlin. Sorry.

The point here is that the idea of writing a story about Don Quixote was, is, and will continue to be an absurdly intimidating task. It's not something I take lightly, and the fact that I knew from the get-go that it had to involve the much-loathed realm of Pataphysics (because what is Don Quixote, if, after reading it, you have no questions regarding the identity of its author? What is Don Quixote if it does not deal directly with its inherently fictitious nature?) only intensified my anxiety and my woe.

So, this is what I've got: This is Don Quixote meets Pataphysics. This is me cranking all my cylinders up to 11 and hoping I got one of my favorite characters in all of fiction right.

This article is my windmill, and I'm tilting the shit out of it.

• The title of the skip (La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha) is a non-existent text referred to in the original Don Quixote (Cervantes falsely claims that the majority of Don Quixote is merely a translation of this text, written in Arabian by the invented historian, Cide Hamete Benengeli). Later chapters mention that it has been re-translated and republished as a book by an Aragonese from Tordesillas (again, an invention by Cervantes).
• Pierre Menard is a reference to the Jorge Luis Borges story, Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote. It's both a joke and meant to give the reader a (very obscure) clue as to who Pierre Menard actually is (the real Don Quixote). The idea of Don Quixote becoming a 'leading scholar of Don Quixote' seemed fitting to me.
• I/O-ISMETA is referenced in SCP-3143; it's a play on the phrase "I'm So Meta Even This Acronym".
• I/O-MANDELA is referenced in SCP-2571; it's a play on the Mandela Effect (an effect where groups of people all remember events and stories differently; such as recalling Berenstain bears being spelled 'Berenstein', or thinking Nelson Mandela died in prison).
• Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (or Fanny Hill) is a playfully pornographic novel wherein the main character describes her experiences via a letter to 'Madame'; it opens with her being lured into a brothel after her parents die of plague. The joke here is that Don Quixote strikes the brothel down and turns the novel into one about the pleasures of flower arrangement. And yes: he got the bag of gold from Ebeneezer Scrooge.
• Justine, or the Misfortunes of Virtue is a repugnant little book by Donatien Alphonse François de Sade (aka Marquis de Sade) in which a young girl (Justine) is continuously sexually assaulted until the very end, at which point a bolt of lightning strikes her down. In this version, the lightning bolt comes for her and her sister, because Marquis de Sade strikes me as the sort of asshole who would try something petty like that in response to Quixote 'ruining' his book. And — of course — Quixote is having none of it.
• Historia del Huérfano (or The Orphan's Story) is a real book that was recently rediscovered and republished (after having long been thought lost). It even features Sir Francis Drake (or, at least, his attack on Puerto Rico). I changed the dates a little; presumably the Foundation put it somewhere it could be 'rediscovered' after these events, minus the excerpts from Alonso.
• SCP-140 is replaced by La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha (the title of this very article). This is kind of a meta-joke, and the closest you get to a 4th wall break: The implication is that A Chronicle of the Daevas has been replaced with the very article you are reading. We're told the text ends with Alonso and Sancho retiring to take care of windmills (which is precisely what happens — foreshadowing!).
• The final iteration mentions two Foundation personnel in charge of maintaining the wind turbines; though I do not say it, I imagine these might, in fact, be Alonso and Sancho — who are secretly also the ones responsible for destroying them. Job-creators!
• The hidden white text in the final iteration is a modification of text from the original novel: Non fuyades, cobardes y viles criaturas, que un solo caballero es el que os acomete. This roughly translates to: Do not flee, cowardly and vile creatures — a lone knight charges at you! Uncle Nicolini modified the text for me to mean: Do not flee, cowardly and vile creatures — two knights charge at you!. The implication is that Sancho is no longer merely Don Quixote's squire; he now stands with his former master as a fellow knight.