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thanks, i hate it.

angry +1

by YourBuddyBillYourBuddyBill, 08 Aug 2020 20:58

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/stop1010, same tab

I've made some edits that should alleviate some problems you pointed out.

(fixed weird phrasing, added more chat logs etc.)

Re: Workshop By dado by stop1010stop1010, 08 Aug 2020 20:47

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Detective, Science Fiction

Page Layout: Have the initial clinical description of the anomalous creature, containment protocols, and critical disclaimer of for punishments of unsanctioned testing. Following this a collection of research notes, a large portion of which are transcribed audio logs from the Japanese detective who had first noticed and subsequently assisted in containing the creature.

Elevator Pitch: A common cat that becomes an anomalous creature after being photographed or recorded.

Central Narrative: Private detective discovers an SCP connected to multiple mysterious disappearances. Clues lead him to discover information about the Foundation and eventual contact. Detective eventually is overcome by his task and falls prey to the anomalous trait of the cat.

Hook/Attention Grabber: Triggered anomalous property, detective story.

Additional Notes: Are there any SCP articles on Japanese branches of the Foundation? SCP cats (e.g. SCP 2144)?

This is a neat concept, the execution could have been a tad bit better, but I like the flip of perspective to the cover scp being the thing that protects you. The reference to 05 using the longer calendar is nice and it makes sense. Would have been a +1 if just a little more work went into explaining the main scp. +0

by  TokyoChocobo TokyoChocobo , 08 Aug 2020 20:13

[Placeholder o' Doom!!! Will crit within 24 hours]

Re: Bring The Good Times Home by KaraKattKaraKatt, 08 Aug 2020 19:58

Author, per the Draft Forum's new policy: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-10629348/new-draft-forum-policies authors who have not yet posted a successful mainsite article are now required to get their basic concept(s) greenlighted by two experienced reviewers in the Ideas Critique forum and/or IRC chatrooms before asking for feedback on a full draft. Bear in mind: greenlights are done on the concept to post in the Drafts Critique forum; not on drafts so they can be posted on the main site.

Please first go to the Ideas forum or the chat, give a quick, properly formatted summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone requests it), and reviewers can help you ensure that the premise is something that will be successful with the community audience.

During the conceptualization stage, reviewers can also assist with letting you know if something similar already exists on the site, and inform you about any cliches/pitfalls/other typical downvote reasons to be careful of with your particular idea. These elements are more effectively addressed earlier on in the writing process.

If you have already received the requisite greenlights, please note from whom and where you received them. If you would like to receive draft critique without going through the greenlighting process, please use the IRC chatrooms to request reviews.

The reason why I chose were to emerge in the 1890s is that one of the plastics precursors celluloid was used as a replacement for stuff like Ivory. I'm planning on having a letter sent celluloid manufacturer receiving a complaint from a customer complaining about a weird slime that formed on his billiard balls.

[Placeholder o' Doom!!! Will crit within 24 hours]

Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm not much of a narrative writer, but as a musician, I thought it would be fun to write an SCP article about music. I'll leave my response to your criticisms in order:

Genre: First off, I didn't see that the genre was optional, so I put what I thought was closest to my idea.

The building: I understand your point about sending a demo to an out-of-use building, and I'll definitely try to work on that bit to try to make some more sense.

Effects: The effects of listening to the record would be psychosis, a warped perception of reality, and homicidal or suicidal thoughts and tendencies (sometimes a combination of the two), but I was hesitant to include that in the pitch because of the 400 word limit. I tend to ramble, and I thought if I mentioned the effects, that would lead into some other parts of the idea, and on and on and on.

Hook: I understand. I know not everyone is a musician, so nobody is going to understand what I mean, and it may not be a great hook since not everyone can relate to it. I'll definitely work on that.

Audio sample: I get it. Gimmicks are cheap and pointless. I just thought it would be fun to try. Maybe I'll reconsider.

As for what you said in your last paragraph about one character suffering it's effects, I did have an idea about that for the history portion of the article. I wanted to tell a story of a band who submitted a demo during the grunge era in the 90s who had listened to their record and were found by doctors belonging to the foundation after going on sort of a rampage. I suppose that may be a bit of an overdone trope, so I might try to work something else out. In any case, I still want to have some sort of example of the record's effects. And for your "thing that does a thing" comment, that totally makes sense now that I look back on it. I did want to include a bit about how, when recorded and listened to through another means, the record doesn't affect a subject, so the anomalous properties lie within the actual vinyl rather than the audio, but maybe that'll just play more into the thing doing a thing. I don't know. I'll think on it.

Thanks again for your feedback!

ahoy ahoy. watching scp videos on youtube brought me to the site. i've enjoyed the dreadful atmosphere of the scp universe and i am interested in contributing perhaps a little light hearted gloom. i'll do my best to review choice articles.

favorite way to relax: play guitar

That Corbenic flag is straight fire.

by TheMightyMcBTheMightyMcB, 08 Aug 2020 19:40

Good stuff. Clean, pretty badass.

by MalyceGravesMalyceGraves, 08 Aug 2020 19:37

Hello,

I'm looking for critique on my second SCP. I'm hoping it has the potential to top the first one, since it was created after spending some more time on the site. Here is my sandbox (first tab):

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/j-habsburg

It is approximately 1700 words. I would appreciate having people both familiar and unfamiliar with the history of the Rite reading. I don't currently like having the Video Log present; but I feel like I need to have a Video Log describing what happens for those unfamiliar, and also for the anomaly at the end. I also am unsure about the execution of the supervising doctor's thoughts. It's another thing I feel like I need to have, to bring a present element to the story, but I'm wondering if it's too campy? I appreciate any and all thoughts!

Foundation is Fucked edition:

  • The Foundation doesn't actually recruit the "best in their field". They claim they do, but the most important factor for new hires is whether they're psychologically vulnerable at the time of recruitment.
  • Repeat amnestic usage imparts a unique dissociative disorder that affects approximately 13% of employees and 90% of D-Class, characterized by increased apathy, fatigue, and issues with one's sense of time.
  • The Foundation funds itself primarily through its (largely ex-D-Class staffed) front companies. Its credit score is garbage.
  • It's an open secret that many employees are closet faithfuls to anomalous religions.
  • Divisions centered around internet anomalies are largely forced to VPN hop, as Foundation IP addresses are immediately banned from almost every anomalous website.
  • Foundation administration operates a series of fake trade unions to keep its employees from organizing.

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/afrosmileyface-j

Word Count: 2500 words

I wrote this mostly as a joke. I wanted to get back into writing and I thought, "Hey, lets write something stupid." In this Clef's true powers awaken and he achieves Ultra inst-ahem- he turns into the Ultra Anomaly. Honestly not looking for a green light, but your thoughts do help. And I hope you at least find it amusing. :D

Thank u, it was a suggestion from Discord :P

by EstrellaYoshteEstrellaYoshte, 08 Aug 2020 19:13

I like to anomalous spin on the accumulation of plastic in the environment comes in, but I don't think this idea is ready for greenlight just yet.

First of all, you're very unclear on genre; science, biology, and ecology are all topics, not genres. I still don't know how you want your reader to feel at the end of this, and, frankly I'd expect myself to feel nothing afterwards.

Also, from a historical/scientific perspective, this doesn't make much sense. Yes, plastic was invented in 1862, but it's prominence as a product, especially as a feature of pollution is significantly younger than that. I understand that this is where the rapid evolution aspect comes in, but it feels really strange for an entire species to come into existence and feed on something that was just invented.

Central Narrative: None

This is the biggest issue with your concept as it stands. SCPs are a method of telling a story using a special format; they generally need a narrative, even if it's a subtle one. For a good example of an obvious narrative, check out something like SCP-3001. For a more subtle narrative, check out something like SCP-4354. Also, have a look at the Guides and Essays tab of the site, where you can find pages that could help you. Simply mentioning a missing persons case isn't enough narrative 'meat' to interest a reader, since there's no actual interesting implications of that as it stands.

Beyond that, this idea has too many moving parts. I think the biggest problem is likely the monster; having all the gummy worms attach to a set thing that already exists feels like an unnecessary complication. Additionally, the monster comes across as a bit of a monster manual entry, largely due to both the lack of any narrative and the fact that the monster becomes violent after the gummy worms attach. This sort of 'rage state' is generally not appreciated on the modern wiki, because reading about a thing that gets angry and kills people just isn't that interesting.

+1 just for that 294-Samekh logo

(really, though, all of these are so nice!)

by WhomerangWhomerang, 08 Aug 2020 19:07
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