NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

You are reading an archived copy of SCP-5947's documentation. SCP-5947's up-to-date documentation can be found here.

— Ronald Emmerich, Director, RAISA


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5947 is to be stored in a refrigerated locker in Chamber 02 of Site-90. Each week, containment personnel are to identify and isolate SCP-5947-1 from the rest of SCP-5947; remaining instances of SCP-5947 are to be ground into a slurry and used or disposed of as appropriate.

fishfood.jpg

SCP-5947

Description: SCP-5947 is the designation for a collection of dried anchovies, one of which (SCP-5947-1) is indestructible. Twice per day, at midnight and noon, all intact instances of SCP-5947 will split into two identical dried anchovies.









HISTORY

SCP-5947 was acquired in an anomalous item exchange conducted with GoI-023 ("MC&D Ltd.") under the Burnett Accord. In addition to items and resources negotiated under the Burnett Accord, PoI-MCD003 ("Percival Darke") had included SCP-5947 within a silver sugar plate as part of his three "contractually-allotted indignities".

As per protocol regarding unexpected gifts from non-partnered Groups of Interest, SCP-5947 was transferred to CANUAR-Site-90, an isolated containment site dedicated to countering mundane and anomalous espionage. Following a round of preliminary testing, SCP-5947's anomalous properties were successfully identified, and containment procedures were finalized on 26/05/1967.



END OF FILE



IN ACCORDANCE TO THE BURNETT ACCORD

The following is a receipt of the three contractually-obligated indignities bestowed upon the SCP Foundation. The contents of this receipt, with regards to the text, are not legally binding and cannot be used in further negotiations or legalistic thaumaturgical rituals.

The items are as follows, as well as justifications for such indignities:

  • One (1) obligation to document this receipt in your official database. Such an indignity is intended as backlash against the heavy doctoring of associated documentation for anomalous objects transferred to Marshall Carter & Darke's possession.
  • One (1) heirloom sugar bowl, to be used only to contain the third indignity. Such an indignity is intended to demonstrate the ease with which Marshall Carter & Darke can deploy its wealth against the SCP Foundation.
  • One (1) invulnerable anchovy, to replicate into a series of mundane anchovies at the peak and trough of the sun. Such an obligation is intended as a personal insult to you, specifically, Dr. Rochefort, a mockery engineered solely to make your work the tiniest bit harder. I know you don't like anchovies; not many people do. Find a use for it sooner rather than later.


ON THE WEAPONIZATION OF PSYCHOCONCEPTUAL HUMILIATION

by Dr. Silas Smith


Abstract:

This study examined the usage of reverse-engineered beryllium-bronze containment devices (such as those employed by GoI-3088 ("Church of the Second Hytoth") and SoI-004 ("The Imit")) to weaponize both abstract concepts and ideas grounded to physical objects. Over a two year period (December 8th, 1997-December 6th, 1999), such devices were attuned to the concept of a series of 12 cm by 2.8 cm oak blocks painted with the logo of subordinate Group of Interest GoI-952's ("Olney Ironworks") logo.

Using three groups of 1000 blocks (painted blocks, blocks that would not be painted, and blocks which would be painted after a period of a year), the Foundation would employ each on a monthly rotation as foci for experimental psychoconceptual channeling units. Additionally, every fourth month would see the activation of the channeling units without the use of foci. Agents embedded into GoI-952 would examine trends in gross income and workplace safety…


NOTICE: UNIDENTIFIED FIGURE APPROACHING CANUAR-SITE-90


Director Smith,

This is an automated message to inform you that an unidentified figure has been spotted less than five kilometers from Site-90's security perimeter. Visual scans suggest 29% probability of a containment breach. Please stand by.









Open regan.avi?



WARNING: PoI-000 SPOTTED NEAR CANUAR-SITE-90


Director Smith,

This is an automated message to inform you that PoI-000 ("Nobody") has been spotted within Site-90's outer security perimeter. Please stand by.



With regards to Chamber 02's renovations

So, Dr. Smith, let me get this straight:

  • You want thirty sugar bowls scattered across the floor. Not welded, adhered, just scattered.
  • Furthermore, you want me to include a Smith Channeler Unit scaled large enough to embed itself into Chamber 02's walls, while retaining the size of the focus (which will remain buried in the concrete).
  • You want me to hollow out the area above and beneath Chamber 02.

We can do that, sure. It's gonna screw the budget, but we can definitely do all of that once our BB shipments resolve. I just need to make sure I read your letter correctly; I mean no offense, but handwriting can get lost in translation, and I need to know if you meant all of this.

Side note: you alright? You looked very pale and jittery last I saw you, and I haven't gotten an email from you since your doctorate. Did something change with SCP-5947?

Jared Morello, Maintenance Director



With regards to Chamber 02's renovations


Well, Irides ran out of space, money, and Director Regan's patience.

After some prep work, it's been found that your realization of Irides is gonna intrude on URA-3721. Moreover, the other researchers aren't too fond of what we already have; it's doing something to the morale, more than just the fact that it makes construction noises even on off-hours.

And again: are you alright? This is all you're talking about. Sometimes it feels like you're an intermediary between me and Irides. I can't even ping your Scipnet account; what's happening?

SCP-5947 is just fish, Dr. Smith. No need to complicate it any further.

Jared Morello, Maintenance Director



INCIDENT U3721-B REGAN-MORELLO

On 30/08/2002, URA-3721 disappeared from containment, and Dr. Aningan Regan and Jared Morello failed to clock in at their usual times. Security audits indicated that neither had left the premises of CANUAR-Site-90, A search was initiated; however, no evidence of wrongdoing was uncovered.

On 02/09/2002, maintenance personnel reported a pungent odor from Chamber 02. Preliminary investigation revealed the presence of apparent human viscera in the space below Chamber 02, as well as the shattered remains of URA-3721. Recovery attempts were hindered, however, by architectural quirks in the recently renovated Chamber 02, which provided no means of egress from the space below.

Plans to deconstruct Chamber 02 were considered, but ultimately scrapped at the direction of CANUAR-Site-90 Director Silas Smith.

Renovation of Chamber 02 is presently set to continue.

WARNING: PoI-000 ATTEMPTING TO BREACH INNER PERIMETER


Director Smith,

This is an automated message to inform you that PoI-000 has been spotted heading towards the inner security perimeter of Site-90. Please stand by.



Relevant excerpts of HMCL Audit S90JAN2003:

Chamber 02

  • Supposedly the containment cell of SCP-5947; containment topology not adequately marked.
  • Anomalous object's containment device unsecured, on floor; can be easily moved or opened; not adequately demarcated.
  • Minor psychic compulsion; 7 members of 10 person survey team drawn towards anomalous object upon entrance; not adequately noted.
  • Auxiliary containment devices not built to Foundation Safety and Security regulations; electronics brought into Chamber 02 experience severe malfunctions when brought near machinery; no diagraphic documentation relevant to the structure.
  • Rancid odor, beyond the necessities of the containment procedures.
  • Chemical hazard: silver jewelry worn by members of the survey team found lightly to entirely corroded upon egress; not adequately noted.
  • Major psychic hazard field; survey team reported feelings of extreme subjugation by an unknown force. Not adequately noted.
  • Survey team incapable of entering the bottom chamber safely; floor of bottom chamber appears to be covered in viscera.
  • Survey team barred from entering the top chamber; reason: insufficient security clearance.

It is presently understood that Chamber 02 is undergoing renovations. We therefore implore Director Smith to contact us upon Chamber 02's completion.

Talia Cassel, HMCL Technician






WARNING: CANUAR-SITE-90 BREACHED BY PoI-000


Director Smith,

This is an automated message to inform you that Site-90's premises have been breached by PoI-000 ("Nobody"). Please stand by.

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