Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol III
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Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future. – Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site-██

This is the third volume of the log. Access to the first and second volume of the log can be found here and here, respectively.

Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Item Description: A broken ceiling tile in the cafeteria of Site-88. Even if deprived of sight or any means of observing it, any individual entering the room will be instantly aware of the tile and its broken state, generally resulting in mild discomfort.
Date of Recovery: 06/12/1998
Location of Recovery: Site-88, Baldwin County, Indiana.
Current Status: Still residing in the Site-88 cafeteria.
Note: Hey, I tried my best. — Repairman Belmont, 06/15/1998

Item Description: A blank, hard-covered book, filled with seemingly-random English text. After reading one page in its entirety, the reader will be unable to identify which page they are reading after that and flip back to page one, where the same effect will occur indefinitely until the book is taken away by another person.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2004
Location of Recovery: The Wren Library in the hands of a 22-year-old man that had been missing for 3 days.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A small ceramic jar that damages any item(s) put inside of it. Level of damage varies, however marks on damaged objects resemble those made by a large axe, despite the jar being too small to contain such a weapon.
Date of Recovery: █/█/2011
Location of Recovery: Shanghai, China.
Current Status: Used to shred documents in Dr. ████'s office. In storage.

Item Description: A standard school chair. Anomalous properties manifest when no personnel are within a twelve-meter radius; the item will move about five meters every four minutes. Pressure sensors have indicated it moves at about 20 km/h.
Date of recovery: 08/01/200█
Location of recovery: ██████, Portugal.
Current Status: Site-19 anomalous storage.

Item Description: Multi-passcode locker in Sector █-A. When the passcode ██-██-██ is entered, a large colony of ants will exit the locker. No anomalous activity has occurred when different passwords were employed.
Date Of Recovery: 12-09-██
Location of recovery: Site-19 weapons testing facility.
Current Status: Uninstalled and used to generate food for entomophagous anomalies.

Item Description: An extremely long picture frame that displays the entire extended family tree of the person that's viewing it. (Displays the entire family, dead or alive)
Date of Recovery: 09-01-2002
Location of Recovery: Art Gallery in Memphis, Tennessee.
Current Status: Displayed at Site-██'s entrance captioned with, "Think of who came before…"
Notes: I swear, John needs to stop saying he's related to George Washington. As if anyone's gonna believe him.

Item Description: A foam toy sword that, when used to attack a living animal, has the effect of a real sword.
Date of Recovery: 03-12-2010
Location of Recovery: Walmart in Oroville, California.
Current Status: Kept in Site-19.

Item Description: A standard metal foldable chair that is non-anomalous until a person tries to sit down. Object will slide back approximately 5 feet once a person's buttocks is 3-inches from seat.
Date of Recovery: 04-9-2020
Location of Recovery: The O'Dooley family reunion in ████████, Minnesota.
Current Status: In the break room of Site-18.
Note: This was funny at first, but it's getting old quick. I'm requesting it be moved to Site-██. - Researcher Janus
Request denied. - Director █████

Item Description: A taxidermy of what appears to be a creature of similar genetic makeup to SCP-682. Has various pressure pads in different places beneath its skin which play an audio file of a voice similar to SCP-682's saying various encouraging and/or positive phrases. The taxidermy's skin cannot be broken and the source of the audio files is unknown. SCP-682 has not been informed of this anomaly's existence.
Date of Recovery: 04-21-2020
Location of Recovery: The holding cell of D-95538, who had been assigned to SCP-682 testing the following day. D-95538 claimed that the taxidermy was there when he arrived, despite the guards tasked with escorting him to his cell having no recollection of seeing it.
Current Status: The medbay of Site [REDACTED]. Reserved for personnel suffering exacerbated mental illness/emotional complications.
Note: It has been deduced based on preliminary testing that the audio files are not prerecorded. Current tally of unique audio files observed: 751

Item Description: A coffee mug with the word "Joe" written on to it with permanent marker. When drinking any liquid out of the mug, a sentence in the fashion of a typical "Yo Mama" joke is heard.
Date of Recovery: 10-22-2019
Location of Recovery: A pawnshop in █████, Washington.
Current Status: In the office of Dr. Davis at Site-██.

Item Description: A series of twelve Acer brand computer screens that reproduce random paintings by American abstract artist Jackson Pollock out of broken glass when damaged. Repairing the screen and damaging it again produces a different painting. Three screens out of twelve remain intact as of ██/██/20██. They are presumed to have the same anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 5-6-2020
Location of Recovery: A computer store in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: An elevator that propels itself upwards at an abnormally high velocity when any of the four buttons on its interior side are pressed, despite possessing no apparent means to do so.
Date of Recovery: 5-7-2020
Location of Recovery: A supermarket in ██████, France.
Current Status: Destroyed after sixth test.
Note: How the ████ did you forget to put the ████ing mattress, Philips? ████ thing could've gotten an actual classification if it didn't break because of you!

Item Description: A black rectangle made of unknown composition with the inscription "[REDACTED]" (Note: The word "REDACTED" in brackets is actually written on it, and is not an authentic act of redaction on the Foundation's part.) on it, which, no matter the position of the person viewing it always displays itself as if they were directly in front of the item. Seems to be two-dimensional as opposed to the standard three dimensions.
Date of Recovery: 5-8-2020
Location of Recovery: A candy shop named "Conifer's Confidential Confiserie" that sold various CIA, ████ and Foundation-themed foods. Dismantled by the Foundation on ██/██/20██ after it was identified as a security breach.
Current Status: Hung above Dr. Roosevelt's office.
Note: What? I think it's pretty funny.

Item Description: A red bath towel, slightly faded due to prolonged exposure to sunlight. When worn around the neck of a human subject in the manner of a cape, the subject believes him/herself capable of flight. Affected subjects often display strong desires to jump from high places in order to demonstrate this ability.
Date of Recovery: 11/5/2020
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] Toy Store, Clifden, Ireland.
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Wearing this item does not actually confer the power of flight. Affected subjects should not be unobserved until the item has been removed, to prevent them from causing themselves accidental injury.

Item Description A Duracell brand 312 hearing aid battery capable of holding up to 40 Ah, and outputting a maximum of 12V, 400A. It is also capable of being charged using a standard car battery charger.
Date of Recovery 13/5/2020
Location of Recovery Blister packaged on a shelf used for holding batteries at a car wash in [REDACTED], Ohio.
Current Status In Dr █████'s car battery compartment.
Note: Despite being chargeable and usable as a car battery, due to the small size of this item, both Dr █████'s car battery compartment and charger have been modified.

Item Description: A standard wooden garden rake that causes all sapient beings in a 10 meter range around it to be compelled to step on its teeth, receiving the handle in the face or equivalent of such at a high velocity. Doing so permanently inoculates the affected individual to the item's effects but also acts as a short range amnestic, as subjects express surprise when hit by the handle and are unable to identify its anomalous properties, sincerely believing they stepped on the teeth by accident.
Date of Recovery: 5-16-2020
Location of Recovery: Spontaneously manifested in a hallway on Site-██. Recovered after an estimated 23 personnel members were exposed to its effects during an SCP-███ containment breach, significantly slowing down the handling of the breach and causing the death of ██ personnel.
Current Status: Suspended 15 m above the ground in an open-air storage compartment on Site-██.

Item Description: A pair of plastic breasts of the kind sold as gag gifts, manufacturer unknown. When being observed by a human, the object breaks the observer's train of thought, compelling them to consider their biases related to women. The effect ceases simultaneously with cessation of viewing, but the subject can continue to explore the same line of thought afterwards.
Date of Recovery: 10/31/1968
Location of Recovery: Household of ███ ███████, Los Angeles, California.
Current Status: Kept in a drawer in the office of ████ ██, Site-19's Head Relationship Psychologist, for use in resolving or preventing conflicts between staff stemming from staff members' biases towards women. May be transferred to other sites per request with ████ ██'s approval.

Item Description and Current Status: So, we've got a fella in a humanoid containment cell that can only be described usin' informal vernacular - you can't talk about 'im using any sort'a upper-crust "clinical" terminology, in other words. The guy himself doesn't seem to know that he's an anomaly - ol' Dr. Umen wants to feed 'im amnestics and let 'im go, considerin' that he's not a threat to normalcy or anythin'.
Date of Recovery: We got 'im back on May 30, 2020.
Location of Recovery: Down in a city near - actually, we can't tell you any a that considerin' that it's top secret or somethin'.

Item Description: A collection of seventeen miniature horse figurines. When placed inside any mobile vehicle, the automobile will anomalously be able to reach speeds of Mach fourteen. The property is present regardless of the vehicle's functionality or condition.
Date of Recovery: 6/9/2020
Location of Recovery: Burent County Rodeo Arena, Burnet, Texas, U.S.A.
Current Status: Two instances were destroyed during retrieval. The remaining fifteen are in storage.

Item Description: 997 (and counting) new episodes of Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting. These videos are entirely non anomalous except for the fact that Bob Ross has been deceased for 25 years and these episodes were made after his death. Evidence suggests that these episodes are made by Bob Ross and are broadcasted from Corbenic.
Date of Recovery: Ongoing.
Location of Recovery: Each episode will randomly replace an advertisement slot of sufficient length on the █████████ network. A Foundation bot has been installed to reroute these episodes to the Foundation database and fill the empty time slot with the original programming.
Current Status: Currently available to all Foundation staff to increase morale, painting supplies are available in the break room at Site-██ for use during breaks.
Note: On ██/██/████, an episode was rerouted into the Foundation database and reviewed as per procedure, but instead of starting in usual fashion, Bob Ross said the following: "Hello to my friends at the SCP Foundation, while I am sad that you won't let me continue painting for the world I understand why, and I am happy that my show will continue to bring joy to members of the Foundation and even someone as important as O5-█. With all that out of the way I'd like to thank you all for joining me here this week, if this is your first time watching the Joy of Painting, I'd like to extend a personal invitation for you to pull out your paints and join me, for a relaxing half hour of painting, and I'll show you just how easy it is to make some of the most beautiful art you've ever seen." Episode continued as usual except for the painting, which was later confirmed to be a depiction of SCP-354.

Item Description: A shipment of twelve █████████ brand acoustic guitars exhibiting the anomalous property that each of the guitar strings will not stop vibrating until manually stopped by use of a person’s finger, and that none of the parts can be damaged. Use of dead or non-biological material will not stop the vibration of the strings, and despite their immunity to damage, the parts still exhibit identical microscopic structures and properties as the materials of the original guitar models. The anomalous properties of the shipment are only exhibited if the original guitars from the shipment contain all of their original parts.
Date of Recovery: 8-12-2016
Location of Recovery: A Costco store located in ██████, Arizona.
Current Status: Eleven in storage, one in the office of Dr. ████████████.

Item Description: A ████████ brand refracting telescope that when looked through will rotate to point toward the nearest blue giant type star at a speed of approximately 6 rpm from the center of mass of the telescope.
Date of Recovery: 25-6-2018
Location of Recovery: A pawnshop located in ██████████, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 0.76 0.53 meter branch from a birch (Betula papyrifera) tree that when held with two hands and swung against another material will exhibit the properties of a bladed weapon, cutting cleanly through the object. No physical changes to the branch are noted to happen when the anomalous properties activate. During a test where the branch was held with one hand, 0.26 m of the branch snapped off from impact force. The end that snapped off was found to be non-anomalous and incinerated afterwards.
Date of Recovery: 2-11-2016
Location of Recovery: ███████, British Columbia, Canada.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: An otherwise mundane member of the species Homarus americanus (American lobster) that will enter a state of hibernation if the material surrounding it is at a temperature below 100°C. It has been shown that the lobster can survive temperatures of at least 3,422°C, although further testing is required. Additionally, the specimen does not require food or water in order to survive and does not appear to undergo the molting process common in others of its species.
Date of Recovery: 6/17/2020
Location of Recovery: Off the coast of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A white, lined piece of writing paper (size A4) that when touched, records every action said person takes for 24 hours. After a day, the information written on the paper disappears and the process can start over again. The paper takes no effect if it has been touched already within the last 24 hours.
Date of Recovery: 30/10/2001
Location of Recovery: In an elementary school classroom in █████████, used for a student's English assignment.
Current Status: Currently laying on Dr Glass' desk at Site-██.

Item Description: A large red button with the text "REGICIDE" written on it in white. When pressed, a prerecorded voice stating "That was Regicide" plays and the highest authority figure in a 30 kilometer radius dies.
Date of Recovery: 09/28/1978
Location of Recovery: Vatican City, Rome.
Current Status: █████████████████████████████████████████████████

Item Description: A hand-made moonshine still, any liquid placed within the still when boiled will be transformed into pure ethanol vapor. Once condensed within the still the vapor will transform into a liquid identical to “moonshine” style liquor.
Date of Recovery: 31/03/1954
Location of Recovery: A rural shack in Henderson, West Virginia, USA following massive amounts of moonshine suddenly being disseminated among the local populace.
Current Status: In storage.
##r, k, b

Item Description: A label maker, that has an infinite supply of paper.
Date of Recovery: 5/10/2008.
Location of Recovery: An office in █████████, Tennessee.
Current Status: Being used by Site-███'s Scientific Department for labels.
"Could whoever keeps changing the font on the label maker stop?" - Site-███ Management

Item Description: A mirror, in which the reflected image shows the "true" orientation of the subject rather than a flipped image.
Date of Recovery: 11-25-2017.
Location of Recovery: █████, England
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A five-tasseled dream collector constructed from an ash wood frame and beads, flax twine, and barred owl feathers. When affixed to the wall of a room, all sleeping occupants will fail to enter stages of rapid-eye movement, or express periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD) or restless legs syndrome (RLS).
Date of Recovery: 7/31/2020
Location of Recovery: A bedroom in rural ███ ██████, California.
Current Status In Site-77 Oneirology Studies storage.

Item Description: A small plastic sword exactly ten inches long with a plastic handle. When held an entity resembling King Arthur will manifest exactly 5 feet away from the individual who held the object in question.
Date of Recovery: 15/02/2020
Location of Recovery: █████████, England.
Current Status: In Site-19 Unknown/Unexplained Objects storage.

Item Description: A collection of kitchen equipment. Set includes pans, pots, cutlery, rolling pins, tongs etc. Any person within a four meter radius of the set will change visual perspective to that of a bird’s eye view of the kitchen à la "Tasty" instruction videos. Anomaly appears to follow majority of set; removing a single piece from the set does not bring the anomalous effect with said single piece. Effect wears off when walking away from set. No adverse effects to user besides mild disorientation. Outside observers have noted no change in behavior or physicality of users while interacting with the set.
Date of Recovery: 14/07/2018
Location of Recovery: ███ Bistro, Nashville, Tennesee.
Current Status: In Site-47 kitchen.

Item Description: A ███████ brand portable music player. Initials G.J. inscribed on the back in permanent black marker. If used to play any mp3 file containing a piece of music, the device will make demeaning remarks about the user's music taste in an unidentified male voice with a "smug" tone upon the conclusion of the piece, or whenever it is paused by the user. If any attempt is made to play a file in a lossless format, the device will fail to play the file, with the same voice proceeding to go on a long, expletive-filled rant scolding the user for being a "pretentious audiophile" in a noticeably angry tone. Recorded rant lengths range from five minutes to six and a half hours. No anomalous effects will manifest if used to play an mp3 file containing anything other than music.
Date of Recovery: 25/08/2019
Location of Recovery: ██████████ Used Electronics Store in Laredo, TX. Purchased by Dr. Fernán, prompting the discovery of its anomalous effects.
Current Status: In Dr. Fernán's office In Site-38 standard item containment.
Note: At first I was happy to have a new mp3 player, but the damn thing was driving me crazy - Dr. Fernán

Item Description: A brown leather wallet that holds one penny. If the penny is removed from the wallet for more than two minutes, it will teleport back into the wallet. All other currency placed in the wallet is unaffected, including other pennies.
Date of Recovery: 08/10/2020
Location of Recovery: Found on the body of Agent ████████, who was killed while containing SCP-████.
Current Status: Placed in Light Containment at Site-73. A memorial to Agent ████████ has been installed in the break room at Site-73.

Item Description: The corpse of a brown rat with a pair of wings attached to its back. The wings have DNA similar to that of a European herring gull, but are completely vestigial, containing nothing but skin and fat. The wings are completely naturally attached to the body, but a beak, also similar to that of a herring gull, has been attached to its snout via superglue. A note tagged via string around the carcass' tail reads "Rat with Wings".
Date of Recovery: 08/13/2020
Location of Recovery: Basement of an abandoned house in ███████, ████████.
Current Status: Placed in cryogenic storage at Site-██.

Item Description: A copper doorknob that, when placed against any vertical surface, forms a 6'-8" door in the wall. When removed, the anomalous door dissipates. If the door is open when the item is removed, the part of the wall making up the door will remove itself from the wall it was once part of.
Date of Recovery: 03/14/1993
Location of Recovery: Found in possession of D-█████ while attempting to escape from Site-██.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A drinking glass that automatically refills with what appears to be water, but is actually dog urine.
Date of Recovery: 12-21-2019
Location of Recovery: Confiscated from Junior Researcher Barr in cafeteria of Site-██, where he was apparently attempting to use it for a prank. Barr has been severely reprimanded.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A virtual reality gaming headset of independent make with one video game pre-installed and no possibility of importing other games. While the item is placed on a person's head and turned on, the subject is unable to vocalize voluntarily and is forced to intermittently vocalize a number of different phrases and exclamations shared by all subjects. The most common phrases include "I'm gaming", "So this is immersion" and "I've never really lived before." These vocalizations gradually increase in enthusiasm and become less articulated, culminating in wordless screaming. Subjects have described the video game installed on the object as "an endless dishwashing cutscene where you can look around".
Date of Recovery: 07/14/2019
Location of Recovery: Offices of ████ ████████, an independent game studio in Dallas, Texas. Owner and employees consistently claimed they'd made "the most exciting video game of all time", citing testers' reactions, and appeared to possess no knowledge of the item's anomalous properties or the game's nature.
Current Status: Stored in a Standard Containment Locker at Site-129.

Item Description: Explain how this 20██ HSC English Advanced Common Module Paper causes the writer to write any information about it in the form of a short-answer question. (2 Marks)
Date of Recovery: What occurred on the day of 12/11/2019? (1 Mark)
Location of Recovery: Discuss the effectiveness of the Foundation's method of recovery of this 20██ HSC English Advanced Common Module Paper from the NSW Education Standards Database. (3 marks)
Current Status: Evaluate how effective the containment of this 20██ HSC English Advanced Common Module Paper is in a filing cabinet in Site-██, whilst also replacing the paper on the NSW Education Standards Website with a non-anomalous version of the paper. Include examples of other containment procedures of similar objects. (4 Marks)

Item Description: A self-writing ballpoint pen that never runs out of ink; once the cap is taken off by a subject the pen will begin to write down the thoughts of said subject on the nearest source of paper.
Date of Recovery: 10/28/2019
Location of Recovery: ████████ Office, Richmond VA.
Current Status: Kept in Researcher Deloria's office at Site-██.

Item Description: A ticket (front row, slightly left of center) for a concert in [REDACTED], OR, occurring on September 3, 2020. The band mentioned on the ticket, a small local group, was not playing in any location on that date. In fact, there was no concert taking place in town on that date. Despite this fact, those viewing the ticket often mention vague memories of the concert, often sharing interesting stories if multiple people view the item simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: 9/9/2020
Location of Recovery: Found on a bench at a bus stop in Portland, OR.
Current Status: Being tested, in hopes of piecing together a coherent account of the non-existent event.

Item Description: A nickel that can't be flipped heads or tails, but instead always lands on the rim instead.
Date of Recovery: 3/20/2019
Location of Recovery: Found in a bank in Los Angels, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A spherical object that 50% of humans perceive as a bowling ball, and the other 50% perceive as a red rubber dodgeball. When interacted with, the object takes on the physical properties of whichever type of ball the subject perceives it as, until it is touched by another subject.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2009
Location of Recovery: ███████ ████, Virginia
Current Status: Punctured during a test. Remains placed in storage.
Note: I wish I was one of the ones who saw it as a bowling ball. I'm told that it looks cool in a deflated shape. - Dr. Norms

Item Description: A pair of 'Bose Audio Sunglasses' that when worn will stick to the individual's skin. When music is played during this time at the one-minute mark it will raise in volume until it is nothing but high pitched screeching. Subjects at this point go deaf.
Date of Recovery: 8/15/2020
Location of Recovery: A home in Allentown, Pennsylvania
Current Status: In storage at Site 15.

Item Description: A pair of slippers that resemble white rabbits that can't be physically removed by any known method once worn. The slippers do not impose any negative side effects to the subject.
Date of Recovery: 4/25/2000
Location of Recovery: A retirement community located in Greenville, North Carolina
Current Status: Currently worn by Junior Researcher Dr. Richard
Note: Just my luck that I would be the first one to test these things. - Dr. Richard

Item Description: A patterned button-down shirt that changes its pattern at random intervals. These patterns consistently will clash with other elements of the outfit it is worn with.
Date of Recovery: 08/28/2016
Location of Recovery: ████████-brand store in Zürich, Switzerland
Current Status: Researcher Aurora's closet. Missing.

Item Description: A washing machine that, when used, will cause all clothing items inside of it to vanish and be replaced with a single unmatched sock.
Date of Recovery: 06/02/2014
Location of Recovery: A Laundromat in ███████, Colorado
Current Status: In storage at Site-17
Note: Okay, which of you pranksters thought it would be funny to move this to the botany wing's laundry room? - Researcher Aurora

Item Description: Cotton T-shirt, size medium, plain white coloration with a cartoon drawing of a beehive on the front. No tag or identifying information is visible, nor can signs of removal of a tag be found. When worn, causes the wearer to sneeze at random intervals (between 5 minutes and 9 hours). Each sneeze produces between 3 and 17 live Western honeybees. Bees produced in this fashion are not aggressive and are generally described as "confused." They display no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 14/9/2020
Location of Recovery: Abandoned on a park bench in Cincinnati, OH
Current status: In testing

Item Description: A black leather jacket that when worn will raise the wearer's confidence drastically. Several individuals who have worn the jacket have claimed that it made them feel "cool and confident".
Date of Recovery: 05/07/2012
Location of Recovery: ██████ Supermart, Arkansas, United States
Current Status: Kept within Site-473s psychiatrist office. Available to on site staff upon request.

Item Description: Broomstick similar to those seen in popular media related to witches, generally around Halloween. Despite its aged appearance, testing has revealed that the item was commercially made within the last 5 years. When a human subject attempts to ride the broom in the manner witches are generally depicted doing, the broom will allow the subject to fly, admittedly at a relatively slow speed (20 miles per hour is the observed maximum).
Date of Recovery: 31/10/2018
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Columbus, OH, United States
Current Status: In low-value item storage.

Item Description: A plush resembling a Stingray, made by the Wildlife tree brand. Item acts as a living Stingray, but does not breath, eat, blink, or sleep. Item uses its pectoral and pelvic fins to propel itself through water. When removed from water, item will begin to flop around, appearing to suffocate.
Date of Recovery: 2/10/2020
Location of Recovery: New England Aquarium
Current Status: In aquatic wildlife containment at Site-██
Note: You guys forgot to mention that I've taught the lad a few tricks! -Dr. Brine

Item Description: A pair of black Bluetooth █████ brand headphones that when worn prevent the wearer from hearing anything other than the audio coming from them, if any is playing. Headphones do not appear to run out of battery, and any connected devices will display them as having 100% battery.
Date of Recovery: 5/12/2017
Location of Recovery: A Best Buy in █████████, Tennessee
Current Status: In possession of Researcher Cook, to assist with her sensory processing disorder.
Note: Please stop connecting my headphones to your phones to play loud bass-boosted music. It wasn't funny the first time, and it's not funny now. -Reasearcher Cook

Item Description: A two-slice toaster. Markings indicated it was manufactured by Warren Wilson's Kitchen Technologies. However, no such company is known to exist. When the toaster is used to toast bread any baked goods, considerable time dilation is experienced by the user. The amount of time dilation is variable, but testing has concluded that each second in baseline time corresponds to between 5 and 10 minutes under the item's effects. Only the person who pushed the lever down experiences the time dilation; if multiple people cooperate to push down the lever, all of them will experience the anomalous effect.
Date of Recovery: 10/10/2020
Location of Recovery: Employee break room in the back of a small, locally-owned bookstore, Avalon, CA
Current Status: In employee break room at Site-██, for use by all personnel.
Note: This thing is great when you have a lot of paperwork to catch up on! —Junior Researcher Alexander

Item Description: A MacBook Pro with permanently damaged keyboard keys. No attempt to fix the keys has been successful. The laptop is operable though the keyboard does not work. Using an external keyboard has been proven successful in operating the laptop.
Date of Recovery: 5/7/2005
Location of Recovery: In a tech support shop in Chicago, IL
Current Status: In possession of Foundation Site-██ security operative Lieutenant Bond.
Note: The laptop is operable though the keyboard does not work. Using a external keyboard has been proven successful in operating the laptop, so I use it for work, nice little oddity. — Lieutenant Bond

Item Description: 144 138 100 containers of strawberries that have the flavor of peaches. Inside of strawberries is light orange colored instead of the standard pink, though the outside is unchanged.
Date of Recovery: 10/13/2020
Location of Recovery: A grocery store in ███████████, Mexico
Current Status: 38 containers sent out to Site-██ for consumption, remaining containers in cold storage.
Note: Can we find a way to get more of these? They taste amazing! —Dr. Jones

Item Description: One Liter of distilled water. If the water comes into contact with any object or organism that is partially made of water, all water is expelled from the object or organism.
Date of Recovery: 10/15/1992
Location of Recovery: Vittel, France
Current Status: In possession of the Chaos Insurgency

Item Description: A vinyl copy of Amnesiac (2001), by the British art-rock band Radiohead. Listening to the record in full causes one to forget the existence of the album, believing that Radiohead has only released eight (8) albums.
Date of Recovery: 2/9/2002
Location of Recovery: Winnemucca, Idaho, USA
Current Status: Contained at Foundation Site-64.

Item Description: A DVD copy of the 1997 film Good Will Hunting in its original case. If the film is viewed to the end of the bench scene, in which the character of Robin Williams gives a long speech, all viewers will be able to recite the speech verbatim if prompted, despite any pre-existing difficulties with memory. Viewers who are incapable of speech or do not speak English are unaffected.
Date of Recovery: 10/2/2020
Location of Recovery: ████ ██████ media store in Indianapolis, Indiana
Current Status: In the employee breakroom at Site-██ with similar non-anomalous media.

Item Description: A Moyu's brand Rubik's cube which can't be resolved in any other time than 7 minutes and 11 seconds regardless of the person. Machines are not affected
Date of Recovery: 3/11/2003
Location of Recovery: A local Rubik's Tournament in Querétaro, Querétaro, México
Current Status: At the office of Dr. Duncan in Site-20.

Item Description: A ██████ brand leaf blower that sucks leaves instead of blows. All other objects are blown away as expected. Location of leaves sucked are unknown, and seem to disappear once leaves reach the end of the nozzle.
Date of Recovery: 27-10-2019
Location of Recovery: A local grounds keeping company in ████████, Georgia.
Current Status: In Site-██ Janitorial Closet for use by cleaning staff. In storage after a fallen twig with a leaf still attached was sucked up. Fixed after Researcher Daniel Ham pulled the twig out.
Note: I didn't think that would actually work. —Researcher Daniel Ham

Item Description: [REDACTED] brand bagless upright vacuum cleaner. Operates as expected, only the container where debris is deposited never becomes full, despite prolonged or heavy use. It appears to become full, but never actually does so. Testing has revealed that the container's internal dimensions are far larger than its external dimensions. The maximum capacity has not been discovered, but is believed to be in excess of ███ m3.
Date of Recovery: 20-10-2020
Location of Recovery: Warehouse believed to be used by Marshall, Carter, and Dark
Current Status: Being tested and observed for further anomalous effects
Note: Documents recovered from the warehouse suggest that Marshall, Carter, and Dark were having difficulty finding a buyer for this item.

Item Description: A standard-sized ██████ brand toy car. When pushed forward it keeps moving in a straight line on the same plane of the starting point, regardless of obstacles or missing surface on its path. The car will stop by friction of the last surface ran across. If the trajectory ends mid-air the car appears to fall only after reaching zero speed.
Date of Recovery: 1-6-2003
Location of Recovery: Room of Dr ███‘s son.
Current Status: Contained in a box full of gravel and sand in anomalous item storage
Note: Previously contained in a regular box. Containment method changed after visible frustration of researchers due to the object slipping under floor level when picked out for testing

Item Description: A standard 5.5 meter tall step ladder. When an individual stands on the highest point of the ladder a feeling of intense vertigo is experienced and the user experiences a feeling of intense paranoia despite having no previous medical conditions.
Date of Recovery:17-06-████
Location of Recovery:██████, England
Current Status:Inside Site-19 unexplained objects storage
Notes: Researchers insisted on the object being laid out flat whilst being placed into storage. The researchers request was approved and the object in question was laid on top of a cupboard.

Item Description: 3 meter folding step ladder. When a human subject climbs the ladder, new steps appear below what would normally be the top step, allowing the subject to reach heights far above what should be possible. Testing has so far revealed that it can extend beyond ██ meters. Its maximum height has not yet been determined.
Date of Recovery: 2-11-2020
Location of Recovery: Leaning against a wall of an unused barn in ██████, Pennsylvania, United States
Current Status: In a storeroom at Site-19, available for use by personnel on request.

Item Description: A step ladder, 4 meters in height. If the bottom step is used, the user will perceive the length of the ladder to be infinite.
Date of Recovery: 28-11-2015
Location of Recovery: A construction market in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, United States
Current Status: Site-19's storeroom.
Notes: How many anomalous step ladders do we have at Site-19? —Dr. Milkton

Item Description: A step ladder, 4.5 meters in height. When steps on the ladder will scream in pain before begging for the person using it to leave. After getting off the ladder the subject will hear the screams of the ladder in their mind for 24-48 hours along with the sound of a ladder falling every hour.
Date of Recovery: 12-11-2020
Location of Recovery: A Marshall, Carter and Dark storehouse in █████, Iowa. Due to paperwork found around the item, it appears that it was going to be sold to ██████, a well-known member of the Serpent's Hand.
Current Status: Site-19's storeroom.
Notes: Too many, Dr. Milkton. —Dr. O'Connor

Item Description: A paper copy of H.P. Lovecraft's short story The Call of Cthulhu with an image of Cthulhu sitting and looking at a rock at the bottom of the paper. When read silently the reader will hear chanting in an unknown language and a small rock (the exact minerals vary) will appear in the left hand of the reader. When read to another person both will hear the chanting and a small rock will appear above the heads of both people before falling on them.
Date of Recovery: 9-11-2020
Location of Recovery: A Barnes & Noble book shop in ██████, Texas. The story had been ripped out of the book it was in and was hidden under a table. The location of the rest of the book is unknown.
Current Status: In a storeroom at Site-██.
Notes: Reading this story to new employees so you can see them have a rock fall on their head is not the kind of testing we need to be doing, Dr. Bright. —Dr. Field.

Anomaly Illustration: An interesting Anomalous Item, an Intelligence (artificial). Analysis is all in A-I arrangement. Impossible acts in analysis is admonitory. Affects (Incorrectness acknowledged) include Acinetobacter Infection, Arthritis, Influenza (Avian), Injury.
Incorporation appointment: 12-03-2013. International 🕒
Acquisition inpoint: In an International Airport, Iowa, America.
Influence At 🕒: In an Intersite Arm - Iowa, America.

Item Description: A 1m x 1m mass of Lunar Rock from the Moons Southern pole. Non-anomalous except for the location of recovery.
Date of Recovery: 12-02-2003
Location of Recovery: The moon.
Current Status: On the moon.
Notes: Uhh… I think somethings gone wrong here. There's nothing anomalous about this, like, at all. It's just a bunch of moon rock. I even check the lunar surface records, it's still there. Can someone bring in RAISA? —Dr K. Saw.

Item Description: A human male, age 37, whose face is legal tender currency in all countries. Photos of the individual labelled with any number, including irrational numbers, imaginary numbers, and numbers greater than the current economic value of the earth can be placed into a bank, paid for in restaurants and retail, or converted into digital currency without suspicion.
Date of Recovery: 23-11-1988
Location of Recovery: Sydney, Australia, after a family member inserted 750 million dollars into their bank account.
Current Status: In a containment chamber. Used by foundation staff for economic relief to the foundation.

Item Description: A watch that counts down to the day the current wearer will die. Once it has been put on a living being, there is no way yet known to take it off.
Date of Recovery: 13-11-2020
Location of Recovery: Found on a civilian after searching around his town unable to take it off, he died 2 years later from blood loss after attempting to cut the watch off.
Current Status: Placed in an anomalous storage room at Site-██.

Item Description: A printed picture of a house mouse that causes anyone that views it for more than ten seconds to enter a state of panic and climb on the nearest piece of furniture. Viewer will recognize that it is just an image after about two minutes of watching the object. A speech bubble is drawn from the mouth of the mouse with text reading "AM I COOL YET?" written in felt-tip marker. Object was located hidden under a table, which caused a woman to scream and climb on the table.
Date of Recovery: 11-07-2019
Location of Recovery: Found in a café in New York City, New York
Current Status: In a file cabinet Site-73.

Item Description: A check book containing 200 187 checks that, each time it is viewed by someone, it displays a picture of a random domestic cat. The pose, breed, and pattern are rarely similar, and two people will not see the same cat. If ripped from the book, the last image seen is the one that will appear on the check and the item will be rendered nonanomalous.
Date of Recovery: 11-12-2020
Location of Recovery: At a bank in Baltimore, Maryland
Current Status: In possession of Dr. ████████.

Item Description: The body of a middle-aged Caucasian man with heavy augmentation of his body, including compound eyes similar to house flies, wings similar to fly wings, and patches of skin similar to the exoskeleton of a horse fly. Symbols tied to the Sarkicism are found carved into the skin on the subject's chest, forehead, and back.
Date of Recovery: 07-23-2020
Location of Recovery: Basement of suburban home in ██████, Georgia.
Current Status: In cryostorage at Site-██.

Item Description: An empty glass Coca-Cola bottle that, when noticed by a person, will immediately cause them to blow atop the bottle to create a humming noise. Subjects who do this report mild stress relief.
Date of Recovery: 4-12-2019
Location of Recovery: A New York City trash can.
Current status: Sanitized before being moved to Site-██ break room for use by staff.
Note: Are we sure this isn't just a regular bottle? —Researcher Cook

Item Description: A piece of haematite that drains blood from the person who is touching it and the drained blood pools around the haematite.
Date of Recovery: 19-10-2020
Location of Recovery: The output booth of SCP-914 at Site 19 Facility 23.
Current Status: In anomalous storage at Site 19
Note: Ah. Haematite, or ''blood stone''. — Researcher Dafydd Lewis

Item Description: A leather-backed yearbook with the inscription "Class of 63' - A Year To Remember" across the front cover. Inside are 220 greyscale photos of individuals who, in current records, have never existed. If one is to inspect it, they find they feel as if they know one or multiple of the persons depicted. Most senior quotes pertain to either inside jokes or quotes from movies that have not been produced.
Date of Recovery: 11-22-2013
Location of Recovery: Dallas City Hall's records department.
Current Status: Located in the psychiatric ward of Site-██
Note: Robert I know you spilled your coffee on page 81. — Researcher Kent Knuhndrem
Note: Piss off. You know I have a tremor. — Doctor Robert Snakeoil

Item Description: A pink bar of soap that produces a mix bright pink mist and pink soap bubbles when in contact with water. Mist mostly consists of water vapor, and the soap bubbles are filled with the mist. Both the soap and mist have a bubblegum scent.
Date of Recovery: 12-14-2015
Location of Recovery: ███████, New Jersey
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A red billiard ball marked with the number 7. Cannot be manipulated by directed thought, but possesses many of the same anomalous qualities as an instance of SCP-609-1. Suspected to have additional anomalous effects, but exact properties remain unknown.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2018
Location of Recovery: Dr. Greaves’ office in Site-17.
Current Status: In storage (confiscated from Dr. Greaves).
Note: No fair. — Dr. Greaves

Item Description: A DVD case containing the Australian DVD release of the Japanese animation film Evangelion: Death and Rebirth. Whenever the DVD or its case come into and/or stay in physical contact with a person who is not aware of the existence of the Japanese Neon Genesis Evangelion animation series, the person in question will immediately shout the phrase, "it all returns to nothing!" This phrase was subsequently determined to be a part of a song featured in The End of Evangelion film, which is a partial sequel to Evangelion: Death and Rebirth. The object's anomalous effect, in addition to the fact that the object was identified to be part of an Australian DVD set release that also contains The End of Evangelion DVD, has led to suspicions that its The End of Evangelion DVD pair is similarly anomalous that, as of writing, has not been contained. the Foundation's discovery and confirmation of the anomalous nature of the object's pair, though it has not yet been contained.
Date of Recovery: 17/11/2017
Location of Recovery: ███████, Indonesia.
Current Status: In storage.
Additional Notes: I wonder if this effect extends to the awareness of the wider Evangelion franchise. — Dr. Tenner

Item Description: A physical print of a photograph of the British admiral Louis Mountbatten during the Second World War. Whenever a person touches the part of the photo showing the admiral's thighs and legs, that part of the photo will slowly turn black in around one to two minutes. After five or so minutes without human contact, the blackened portion will slowly return to its original grayscale colouring. It is known that Louis Mountbatten's assassination in 1979 almost severed his legs.
Date of Recovery: 25/06/2004
Location of Recovery: ██████, United Kingdom.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A sapient bottle of Purell hand sanitizer that can speak telepathically. It claims to be an 1800s cotton farm owner named Tobias. It tries to help humans as it claims to see them as the most technologically advanced race. It hates anything that isn't man-made or is anomalous. Due to this, it hates all SCP items. It will often try to give advice on how to terminate SCP items and on how to help people. It appears to know a lot about medical care. It also believes it is superior to all other lifeforms, however, it can be rather charming when talking. When hand sanitizer is removed it will let out a painful moan, more hand sanitizer can be added at any time. It also appears it enjoy hentai.
Date of Recovery: 3-10-2019
Location of Recovery: A Pokémon-themed store in ████, Japan.
Current Status: In storage at Site-██ in the medbay.
Additional Notes: I have seen a lot of things during my time working here, but this has got to be one of the weirdest. -Dr. Field

Item Description: A "STOP" sign that changes from its original octagonal form to a green circle with the text "GO", and a triangular yellow sign with "WAIT" on it. This change occurs once every hour, changing instantaneously and regardless of if it is being viewed or not.
Date of Recovery: 11-18-2020
Location of Recovery: ████████, █████
Current Status: Item was recovered by UIU agents and is in custody of said GOI. Sign has been replaced with a nonanomalous "STOP" sign.

Item Description: A stapler that reacts violently when touched, snapping at any subject that touches it. It snaps its "jaws" by slamming its handle hard enough to hop towards its assailant, but not enough to activate its true function. An audible barking sound is heard from the stapler when active.
Date of Recovery: 04-13-2017
Location of Recovery: ███████, France
Current Status In storage.

Item Description: A collection of five taxidermized animal heads. The heads hold no anomalous properties besides the fact that each one is of a species of dinosaur or related extinct reptiles. The five heads are that of a Triceratops, Quetzalcouatlus, Maiasaura, Therizinosaurus, and Diplodocus. DNA testing revealed that the heads are authentic.
Date of Recovery: 11-20-2020
Location of Recovery: A Marshall, Carter, & Dark warehouse in ███████, █████████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Newton’s cradle with human eyes dangling by their optic nerves in place of the pendulums. The biotic matter does not decompose and the item behaves as it would with it’s typical components. A weak memetic effect compels observers in close proximity to play with it. DNA extracted from the tissues is genetically similar, but not identical to that of Dr. Greaves.
Date of Recovery: 05/01/2019
Location of Recovery: Dr. Greaves’ office in Site-17.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. Greaves’ office in Site-17. Dr. Greaves under investigation.
Note: Helps me think. That's all you need to know. For now. — Dr. Greaves

Item Description: A 36 gallon saltwater aquarium with heavily America-themed contents. Said contents include 3 tassle filefish (Chaetodermis penicilligerus) whose coloration resembles the American flag, an unknown cnidarian that resembles the Statue of Liberty (down to a bioluminescent "torch" of tentacles), and a species of algae distantly related to Palmaria palmata whose fronds resemble parchment decorated with unintelligible-yet-ornate writing (possibly in reference to early American legal documents like the Constitution or Articles of Confederation). Contained organisms show signs of significant genetic modification. A small sticker on the lid advertises a company labelled "Globalcorps Patriotic Pets", and mentions other tank sets with Japanese, English, and Greek themes. Low-priority investigations into Globalcorps Patriotic Pets and the remaining tank sets are underway.
Date of Recovery: 03/22/2015
Location of Recovery: Tidal-Palooza, an aquarium expo held in Boise, Idaho. Did not appear to belong to any listed attendants, with staff stating that it had appeared at an unrented space 2 hours after opening.
Current Status: On display in Dr. Braunmeyer's office.

Item Description: A German World War I Ledermaske type gasmask that poisons its users. When worn, the included filtering system anomalously creates chlorine atoms which covalently bond into Cl2. The Airtight seal traps the bonded Cl2 molecules within the atmosphere. Symptoms of use are consistent with exposure to chlorine gas. Anomaly directly conflicts with Dalton's Atomic Theory and the proposal that atoms cannot be created nor destroyed.
Date of Recovery: 5-8-1932
Location of Recovery: Historical ruins of a farm near Villers-Bretonneux, France. Historically the location of the First and Second Battles of Villers-Bretonneux as a part of the German Spring Offensive during early 1918. The battles took place from 30 March - 5 April, 1918 and 24 April - 27 April, 1918.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard basketball rack with 12 basketballs on it. The basketballs do not seem to deflate and cannot be damaged. The rack itself is likewise invincible. Whenever 12 people are in the same area as the rack, music will begin emanating from the rack itself and each person will take a ball and proceed to perform the full song and dance number for the song "Get'cha Head In The Game" from the Disney movie High School Musical. Lack of prior knowledge of the song or movie and lack of required skills have no effect on the performance.
Date of Recovery: 3/7/2020
Location of Recovery: East High School in Salt Lake City, Utah
Current Status: In the Site-19 gymnasium for recreational purposes. The object has been clearly labeled to avoid being confused with a normal rack.
Note: The location of recovery was the school used in the movie, and the date of recovery was the same day that the DisneyChannelUK YouTube channel uploaded the video for the song. Does anyone else feel like there might be more to this than we think? — Dr. ███████

Item Description: An average looking Anaxyrus americanus. When any male human is within three feet of it they will have an unstoppable want to yell "Toad", even if doing so puts them at risk. When any female human is within three feet of it they will automatically enter a very calm state and will want to pet it.
Date of Recovery: 2-5-2020
Location of Recovery: Dr. Field's personal residence.
Current Status: It is kept at Site-██ in Dr. Field's room.
Additional Notes: I don't see why they feel the need to write anything about my Boigurt but as long as I get to keep him I could care less. -Dr. Field

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