Info
Image Sources:
Filename: man3
Author: Brad Montgomery
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: link
Notes: The original photo was edited by  Veralta for the purpose of this article
The Site-120 logo used in the header was created by  EstrellaYoshte for the purpose of all articles regarding such. Please check out more of their absolutely stellar work here.
Containment Class:
neutralized
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
{$disruption-class}
Risk Class:
{$risk-class}
SCP-5659 presenting a nonexistent alchemical apparatus it dubbed the "matter creator". Photo taken at the time of recovery.
Special Containment Procedures: All personnel working with SCP-5659 are to be trained in memetic resistance.
SCP-5659 is to be contained in a standard human containment cell at Site-120 in accordance with the Ethics Committee's decree regarding the containment of human anomalies; it must not be apprised of its anomalous nature.
Following Interview 5659-3 being conducted, containment of SCP-5659 is no longer necessary; the anomaly is to be employed as a cook at Site-120's cafeteria.
Description: SCP-5659 is a 23-year-old white male named Richie Marks, measuring 178 centimeters in height and 96 kilograms in weight.
Although SCP-5659's personality consists of traits generally considered to be repulsive, it is capable of persuading any individuals it encounters that any sentiment, wish, or concept it says is, was, or will be objectively true to that individual.
Despite this, SCP-5659 is not aware of its abilities; it appears to have convinced itself that this effect is entirely non-anomalous and stems from its "great intelligence, charisma, and magical abilities".
A background check on SCP-5659 revealed that during its childhood it was heavily interested by fantasy media featuring magic and the general concept of thaumaturgy - it appears to have persuaded itself that it is a legitimate sorcerer, capable of practicing real thaumaturgy.
Discovery: SCP-5659 was discovered on 30/04/2018 at Warsaw's Chopin's Airport, Poland, where it was reported attempting to illegally sell self-made fake thaumaturgic items to tourists. When local authorities were unable to properly detain the entity, the Foundation was alerted and SCP-5659 was taken into its custody.
Even once supplied with a standard humanoid anomaly uniform, SCP-5659 refuses to take off its "robe", as it said that, to quote: its "magical aura" would be disrupted should the "powerful magic robe" be taken off and that "powerful word mages don't listen to nerds".
SCP-5659 appears to be entirely unaware of the fact it is wearing a horse blanket.
Addendum 5659-1 - Interview Logs
Date: 04/05/2018
Interviewer: Dr. Maj
Interviewed: SCP-5659
<Begin Log>
Dr. Maj: Greetings, SCP-5659. How are you today?
SCP-5659: No, no no no. We’re not doing this today.
Dr. Maj: This won’t work, Richie. I'm not Bator.
SCP-5659: Oh my god, whatever. What do you want?
Dr. Maj: I'd like to talk more about your past. What was your childhood like?
SCP-5659: <sighs> Must we do this?
Dr. Maj: We do.
SCP-5659: Jesus Christ, alright. I… where do I start…? Oh, well, umm, I never met my mom. She died giving birth. My dad didn't really care all that much about me.
Dr. Maj: Could you elaborate?
SCP-5659: Well, umm, for starters, my only real interactions with him were when we were having dinner. He always talked about "not having enough time" and "work being important". He spent everything on alcohol, miss doctor. Fucking asshole.
Dr. Maj: Oh.
SCP-5659: Either that or a book for me every now and then. I only remember one of them though. I… when I was a kid, I read a lot about mages, you know? That's how I discovered who I really am. <Stands up, showing its "robe"> Well, that and the fact the Council took me in.
Dr. Maj: The Council?
SCP-5659: You know, the Council of Mages? The thing that’s in tons of books?
Dr. Maj: I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
SCP-5659: Oh well, they never really revealed themselves to the outside world anyway! <laughs> They took me in and helped me show that I am, truly, a mage.
Dr. Maj: Could you… elaborate?
SCP-5659: Well, what more do you need? I mean, I was taken in by the Council, and they taught me how to do like, you know, real magic?
Dr. Maj: Real magic? Could you show me?
SCP-5659: I… I don't think I can, doctor. When I was given my Mage Name, I swore to never use magic in front of civilians.
Dr. Maj: I'm not a civ- wait, your Mage… Name…?
SCP-5659: Yes, Richie Marks the Tenth, Archmage of Spells and Connoissorceror of Food.
Dr. Maj: That's… your name…?
SCP-5659: Yes, that is my name. My full name, in fact.
Dr. Maj: Oh, umm, alright.
Silence.
Dr. Maj: So you're telling me there were nine like you before you?
SCP-5659: Yep.
Dr. Maj: With the exact same name?
SCP-5659: Yes.
Dr. Maj: All named "Richie Marks, Archmage of Spells and Connoissorceror of Food"?
SCP-5659: Indeed.
Silence.
Dr. Maj: I think we're done here.
<End Log>
Ending Statement: Further investigation led to the discovery that the Council of Mages described by SCP-5659 is a fictional organization teaching children magic written by Hannah Johnson in her kids book series, "Of Mages".
Date: 06/05/2018
Interviewer: Dr. Maj
Interviewed: SCP-5659
<Begin Log>
Dr. Maj: Good morning, SCP-5659. How are we today?
SCP-5659: I… I'm feeling somewhat down today.
Dr. Maj: Oh? Why is that?
SCP-5659: I dunno. I feel like the Council has forgotten about me.
Dr. Maj: Could you elaborate?
SCP-5659: Well, I haven't gotten an update from then in… um… a while now. Time's been passing weirdly ever since I left my home. <nervously laughs>
Dr. Maj: Hmm… do you think there's a reason for that?
SCP-5659: I… I honestly don't know, doc. I just hope I didn't upset them. I'd be ruined if they didn't want me back in. I… being a wizard is all I have, you know what I'm saying?
Dr. Maj: I think I understand. Hmm… and… what was the last thing you were ordered to do by them?
SCP-5659: Well, I was told to wait.
Dr. Maj: Wait for what?
SCP-5659: I've no idea, doc! I'd love to do so many things but, without their permission, I don't know if I'm allowed to!
Dr. Maj: Such as?
SCP-5659: Well, um… I know this will sound silly, but I always wanted to be a cook…
Dr. Maj: A cook?
SCP-5659: Y-yeah… using magic that is. A food mage. I… I think there's something beautiful about making people happy with food, you know?
Dr. Maj: Oh?
SCP-5659: I've always somewhat, well, liked doing that. With magic, I mean. Food magic was quite fun to learn. Not like the other subjects weren't of course, but, well… food is fun.
Dr. Maj: So you're saying you like preparing food?
SCP-5659: Yeah. I mean, you guys' is pretty alright. Could use some salt or pepper here and there, but overall it's not that bad. I mean, everything's better than trash. Not that I'd eaten any after the Council took me in. Definitely haven't.
Dr. Maj: Hm… I think I have an idea.
<End Log>
Ending Statement: Further research on the "Of Mages" book series revealed that the last book in the series before the author took a 2 year-long hiatus contained an author note in which she asked the readers to "patiently wait for the next installment as she recovers mentally". Due to that, the books were published under a smaller publishing house, which did not plan on releasing them in Europe.
Site Director Dr. D. Asheworth conducted the follow-up interview himself. The log is attached below.
Date: 12/05/2018
Interviewer: Dr. Asheworth
Interviewed: SCP-5659
<Begin Log>
Dr. Asheworth: Greetings, SCP-5659.
SCP-5659: Hello mister, umm, important… science… man. How can I help?
Dr. Asheworth: Recently, it has come to my attention that— quickly, I don't have much time off the cameras, they monitor us constantly. Richie, I was sent by the organization known as the Council of Mages—
SCP-5659: R-really? You didn't forget about me?!
Dr. Asheworth: Absolutely not; look.
Dr. Asheworth demonstrates basic usage of thaumaturgy, lighting a flame between his fingers.
Dr. Asheworth: See?
SCP-5659: Oh my god, it's actually you! What can I—
Dr. Asheworth: As I said, I don't have much time. Richie, you need to stop showing people your extremely impressive magical abilities, do you understand?
SCP-5659: But… I already told them—
Dr. Asheworth: I know. You have to stop doing that. They need to think you're no longer a mage.
SCP-5659: How would I do that? What do I do?
Dr. Asheworth: Don't worry. Agents of the Council will rescue you when the heat dies down. All you have to do is blend in as a Site cafeteria chef and repeat the secret password to everyone who passes you by. Our agents will recognize it.
SCP-5659: <standing up from the seat> What is it?
Dr. Asheworth: This is very important, so you'll have to listen very carefully, Richie.
SCP-5659: What is it?!
Dr. Asheworth: This is very, very important. Are you absolutely sure you're listening well enough?
SCP-5659: Yes!
Dr. Asheworth: Alright, hear me out — whenever you interact with someone in the cafeteria, you will say this, and bear with me here, it's extremely important — "Have a nice day and enjoy your meal". Do you understand?
SCP-5659: <Nods> Yes.
Dr. Asheworth: Will you make sure to do this? Will you repeat this to everyone you meet?
SCP-5659: Y-yes. I will.
Dr. Asheworth: Good. When you'll accumulate enough positive energy, the agents will immediately come to you. Now, to finish our magical contract the agents will recognize when they find you, repeat what I say next. It's imperative you repeat this exactly as I say do you understand?
SCP-5659: Please, just tell me what it is already.
Dr. Asheworth: Okay, here it goes: "I will not act like a mage when not in the presence of the Council. I will not tell anyone about my mage abilities. I will find happiness in what I will do before the Council finds me and I will repeat the password to everyone". The double-double "e" at the end is very important, Richie. It fills the phrase with more magic. Do you understand?
SCP-5659: Y… yes. Clears throat I, Richie Marks the Tenth, will not act like a mage when not in the presence of the Council. I will not tell anyone about my mage abilities. I will find happiness in what I will do before the Council finds me and I will repeat the password to everyone.
Dr. Asheworth: Now, please repeat it to show that you mean it. It’s important in magic contracts you know, the number two symbolizes that.
<SCP-5659 repeats the phrase.>
Silence.
SCP-5659: I-is that enough? Did it work?
Dr. Asheworth: Yes, Richie, great work. Now, you’ve got to get out of here before the Foundation gets suspicious!
SCP-5659: Yes sir!
<SCP-5659 salutes and leaves the room.>
<End Log>
Following this, the containment of SCP-5659 has been deemed unnecessary. Psychological assessment of personnel at Site-120 and SCP-5659 has reported a marked decline in stress levels.
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