SCP-4525
rating: +204+x
Item#: SCP-4525
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
caution

Toysrus_Us.jpg

Abandoned Toys R Us at the Fairfax Shopping Plaza. Hosts the only known point of entry into SCP-4525.

Special Containment Procedures: Any discovered entrances to SCP-4525 are to be padlocked, barricaded, and monitored for any attempted or actual entry and egress, with suitable arrangements made with the property owners on a case by case basis. Field agents and media monitoring systems are to remain on alert for any advertisements for SCP-4525, noting and investigating likely locations of additional entrances.

Description: SCP-4525 is a bulk grocery store of indeterminate size and unknown location. The only known method of accessing SCP-4525 is through a number of anomalous doorways1 connecting SCP-4525 to specific locations. Although the interior of SCP-4525 appears to have many of these anomalous doorways, the exterior location of all but one of them are unknown at this time.

Upon entering SCP-4525, all individuals will be paired with an instance of SCP-4525-1, 84 cm tall quadrupedal robots with a single front-mounted arm, similar to the SpotMini produced by Boston Dynamics. These robots are uniformly white with 'dado go' written on the side in black marker. SCP-4525-1 will shadow any visitors for the length of their stay in SCP-4525, ostensibly to record any purchases. Whether or not these robots are anomalous in any way has yet to be conclusively determined.

SCP-4525 possesses no cashiers or self-checkouts, instead mailing a bill for any items taken out of SCP-4525 and a self-addressed return envelope2 to the individual's residence, sent using Amazon Prime. How SCP-4525 obtains the visitor's home address is unknown.

Discovery: On 08/11/20██, approximately 500 flyers advertising SCP-4525 were placed under the windshield wiper of Dr. Carver's personal vehicle while he was off-site at the Fairfax Shopping Plaza in █████████, ██3.

Each of the flyers read as follows:

u come 2 dado go

helllllllllllllllllllllo (sry hamster sit on keyboard) this is dado world renowned pharma bro and owner of many fine businesses like adult-free daycare and auto repair

dado is now opening biggest business ever - dado go

dado is big fan of jeff bezos and looks to bezos for inspiring of dado businesses

when dado see that bezos is starting amazon go with the robots watching all the time so u no need to wait in line and bezos no need to pay cashy heirs dado think this is brilliant so dado start dado go

dado is pharma bro not tech bro (uppercase key broken) so dado go is not as para dime shiftwork as amazon go but dado still make dado go bots that will tally ur groceries and then send u bill which u pay promptly (dado has amazon prime so there is no excuse for tartar sauciness)

dado accept cash check and amazon gift cards

so u come 2 dado go yes (way white door behind old toys r us they not good business people like dado) and dado go bots will show u best shopping trip of ur life

u trust dado go

The subsequent investigation quickly revealed an anomalous doorway in the back of the abandoned Toys R Us at the Fairfax Shopping Plaza connecting to SCP-4525.


Following this exploration, the doorway leading into SCP-4525 has ceased all anomalous activity. The interior had a note taped to it reading "grand re-opening soon do not rush dado". The doorway is to remain off-limits to civilians and checked daily for the re-emergence of anomalous properties.

Analysis of the products retrieved by D-23545 revealed no intrinsic anomalous properties. The Creme of Trilobite soup was made from trilobite fossils, the Lactose Intolerant soup consisted of pure lactose, and the Baryon soup was a gaseous solution of positive hydrogen ions. The cereal bore only a superficial resemblance to SCP-2983, being made from crisped rice and dehydrated marshmallows. Despite the label, the cereal does not contain any chocolate, only a small note which reads 'real cocoa was inside you all along also hamster ate cocoa'.

Two days later, a bill and self-addressed return envelope was delivered to Site-██'s PO box. The bill charged $1.33 USD for each can of soup, $7.42 for the cereal, and $475,809.53 for 'complicity in corporate sabotage that ruin perfectly good dado business'.

To date, the bill has not been paid.

Addendum: In order to study its memetic properties, the voice from the PA system was isolated from the overall audio.

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