rating: +25+x


Unbaked SCP-4628-1

Item #: SCP-4628

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: The recipe for SCP-4628-1 is Level 3/4628 Classified.

SCP-4628-2 are to be kept in standard humanoid containment cells. SCP-4628-2 are to wear protective airtight suits at all times. SCP-4628-2 are to attend mandatory remedial and reversal classes. If an accident results in a gross loss of mass to an SCP-4628-2, Site 17 Kitchen Staff are required to be able to reproduce SCP-4628-1 for reintegration.

Preventive action "Operation Pi Day1" is to be conducted every March 14.

Description: SCP-4628-1 is a type of pie crust made with an anomalous recipe titled “Pi Crust for Dummies”. When SCP-4628-1 is ingested, the subject will transform into a pliable light brown entity composed of a mixture of butter, flour, salt, and water similar in consistency to unbaked pie crust. Entities are collectively known as SCP-4628-2. SCP-4628-1’s anomaly only affects humans who have been exposed to the idea of the circle constant pi. Subjects with the belief that pi is inelegant are unaffected. SCP-4628-1's effects are reversible. See Document #: 4628-A1 Reversal Procedure.

SCP-4628-2 retain sapience, speech, and the mass of their original person. SCP-4628-2 do not need to perform any human bodily functions. SCP-4628-2 exposed to the air for long periods of time show signs of staleness associated with pie dough and air exposure. Extended exposure may result in loss of mass via crumbling. SCP-4628-2 can also lose mass via friction, trauma, or contact with other SCP-4628-2. When an SCP-4628-2 is reduced to about 20% of its mass, it will lose sentience. Warped speech and slow vocalizations are signs of an SCP-4628-2 losing too much mass. Separated mass can be reintegrated into an SCP-4628-2's body. SCP-4628-1 also works as a substitute if the lost mass is unrecoverable.

Document #: 4628-A1 Reversal Procedure

To reverse the effects of SCP-4628-1, an SCP-4628-2 must be able to reason why pi as a concept of geometry and trigonometry is aesthetically displeasing or inefficient. To achieve this, SCP-4628 are required to attend remedial and reversal classes. Remedial classes begin with Introduction to Geometry, Area, and Unit Squares and any necessary supplementary lessons. SCP-4628 are required to pass remedial classes to qualify for reversal classes. Reversal classes include teachings from π is Wrong! by Bob Palais, The Tau Manifesto by Michael Hartl, and the Pi Is (still) Wrong series by Victoria Hart. Average SCP-4628-2 can reverse within 1 month of containment under the Foundation curriculum. Special cases have been under remedial classes for upwards of 6 months. An SCP-4628-2 that has reversed but has its preference against pi amnesticized reverts to anomalous dough form.

Document #: 4628-A2 Discovery

The Foundation has been aware of SCP-4628-1 and SCP-4628-2 since its first recorded outbreak on March 14, 2002. The process to reverse SCP-4628-1's anomalous effects as well as its origin came to Foundation awareness three months after the first SCP-4628-2 were contained. On June 28, 2002, an envelope manifested on Anomalous Mathematics researcher Sedric Felizardo’s desk at Site 17. Inside was a letter revealing SCP-4628-1's recipe's author, the author's motives, and how to reverse SCP-4628-1's effects. Along with the letter was a separate document detailing the complete recipe of SCP-4628-1. Testing of reversal procedures was approved immediately after receiving this information. Successful reversal tests led to the implementation of the current containment and reversal procedures. SCP-4628-1's recipe was theorized to have been leaked by its author to the anomalous black-market channels shortly after this development.

Document #: 4628-A3 Letter addressed to researcher Felizardo on June 28, 2002.

Document #: 4628-A4 SCP-4628-1 Recipe received on June 28, 2002.

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