SCP-4926
rating: +13+x
Mistsubishi%20Diamond

Side View of SCP-4926 prior to disassembly

Item #: SCP-4926

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4926 is to be housed at the SCP Foundation Warehouse 3-B. Anomalous columns have ceased, recommend unit remain disassembled. All instances of SCP-4926-1 are to be kept at the Library of Anomalous Events in storage drawer 3677A.

Description: SCP-4926 refers to a Mitsubishi Offset Printing Press Model DAIYA 5F. The press measures .91 meters wide and 2.1 meters tall. SCP-4926-1 refers to 417 separate issues of the Omaha World Herald containing the appearance of anomalous news columns. The columns are written by an unknown author and describe a living person's death. The deaths described in SCP-4926-1 vary in both location and cause, but in every instance the subject has been later found alive. Initially thought to be a clerical error by the publication, numerous retractions and corrections were printed following confirmation that the person was still alive. Interviews with the subjects of each article revealed that the described events bear a direct correlation to an event in their recent experience.

The first instance of SCP-4926-1 appeared in the Omaha World Herald on July 20th, 1997. A man by the name of Harold Archibald brought the instance of SCP-4926-1 to the publication, demanding to know if the column was an error or crass attempt at humor. The column was brought to his attention by numerous family members and colleagues who all reached out to inquire about his well being shortly after publication.

Excerpt from the Omaha World Herald dated 7/20/1997

CYCLING ENTHUSIAST STRUCK BY TRAIN

Bellevue, NE

A native of Bellevue, NE. has died at the University of Nebraska Medical Center after sustaining major injuries in an apparent train accident. Harold Archibald, 22, was hit by an oncoming train at approximately 6:30 pm this Tuesday. Archibald was found by a passing motorist at the intersection of Fort Crook Rd. and Chandler. Police suspect that Archibald, while riding his bicycle, had crossed the barriers in an attempt to beat the oncoming train and had slipped onto the tracks. The medical student suffered life-threatening injuries and was airlifted to UNMC where he later succumbed to his wounds. He is survived by his mother and sister. Memorial services will be held Saturday at the Platte Community Church.

Subsequent interviews with writers and editors revealed no known connections with Harold Archibald. No employees reported witnessing a cyclist crossing railroad tracks on that, or any other occasion.

Excerpt from the Omaha World Herald dated 10/12/1998

Woman Found Stabbed to Death in Dundee

Omaha, NE

A Dundee resident was found stabbed to death in her home early Wednesday morning. Donna Redley, 37, was found unresponsive by her housekeeper at her residence on 75th and Dodge St. after an apparent break in. Investigators suspect that the assailant entered through the front door while she was home alone. The police do not have a suspect and the assailant is currently still at large. Police Chief Aaron Ricks issued a public statement Thursday night, asking the public to come forward with any leads. Ricks also implored people in the Dundee area to lock their doors and be on the lookout for any suspicious activity. If you have any information related to this case, please call Crime Stoppers at ███-███-████.

Party known as "Pete" (later determined to be a volatile ex-lover on early release from prison) was interviewed, but no known connection to the newspaper was found. His room in the REDACTED Halfway House was searched, a diary was found with obsessive, violent passages detailing his plans to ensure he and Ms. Redley could be together in death.

Excerpt from the Omaha World Herald dated 2/01/2001

Missing Boy Found in local Construction Site

Norfolk, NE

A missing boy from Norfolk, NE was found deceased in a construction site Friday afternoon. Andrew Brown, age 7, succumbed to hypothermia at the Pine Ridge housing development. Authorities were dispatched Wednesday evening after the boy’s mother reported him missing. Cynthia Brown, 29, claimed that the child had been outside playing and she began searching for him when he didn’t return. Douglas County police believe the boy was playing in the basement foundation of a home under construction when he got trapped. Medical examiners concluded the boy had been exposed to the elements for 17 hours before ultimately freezing to death in the subzero temperatures. Brown is survived by his mother, father, and two sisters.

This article differed from the previous two as active reporting was being conducted on the case as this instance of SCP-4926-1 was generated. Brown, like the previous subjects, survived the incident, but both iterations of the story were circulated at once, leading to confusion and outrage directed towards the newspaper. Details in this instance of SCP-4926-1 held pertinent information about the subject's location, leading to his eventual rescue. The circumstances regarding the incident prompted embedded Foundation Field Agents to take notice. Investigation was subsequently taken over from local authorities.

Analysis of the printer, paper, printer roll, and ink was conducted; one notable anomaly was found. Ink was an atypical chemical composition, containing calcium carbonates, salt, and potassium in large quantities. This led to inquiries being made of the World Herald Maintenance Staff and later, the Editorial Department. An admission from the Editorial Manager is detailed below.

The following paragraph appeared in the Sunday Edition of the Omaha World Herald shortly after the recovery of Andrew Brown. An embedded SCP agent in charge of monitoring the press was able to intercept before prints could be parceled for distribution. SCP-4926 was later confiscated and the Omaha World Herald was issued a replacement printing unit of the newest model number.

Nothing reminds people how much they care about you quite like seeing your name come up in the obituaries. Your lives, and the lives of your loved ones, are so precious. Stop making stupid, absent minded decisions and putting yourselves in harm's way. People do it every day. With every cigarette, with every stoplight run, every baby left in a hot car. I had to do something about that boy. I couldn’t just watch it happen. For a while, I was so worried he might not get rescued, that I’d have to watch him cry himself into a cold sleep. Felt good to actually make a difference. Too bad I burned what I had left making it happen. No juice left. It’s a lot easier going backwards than forwards.

P.S. Elias, start compressing the dummies in the columns. You’re wasting space.

-Simon

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