SCP-5081
rating: +43+x

ATTENTION

Pursuant to 16CFR1450e11, the following document is subject to security protocol HATTUSA CLAY. The SCiPnet intranet has detected anomalous tampering with the following document. Caution is advised for all readers.




Item #: SCP-5081 Snacko™ Brand Delectable Edibles

Object Class: Euclid Explained

Special Containment Procedures:
WHEREAS, the defendant has been accused of libel against the plaintiff with the publication of the document 'SCP-5081', and
WHEREAS, the defendant has damaged the plaintiff's livelihood via said rumors, and
WHEREAS, evidence has been produced where the defendant stole and destroyed the plaintiff's property, and
WHEREAS, the defendant resorted to specifically targeting the plaintiff's patrons for physical harassment, and
WHEREAS, the defendant attempted to purloin and devalue intellectual property belonging to the plaintiff by publicizing trade secrets to members of its internal organization, and
WHEREAS, the defendant of libel suit 2020-L-151298 (Snacko™ vs Foundation) was absent from the hearing:
The court has ruled in favor of the plaintiff (Snacko™ Foods LLC). As compensation for damages caused, the SCP Foundation (henceforth referred to as 'Foundation'), shall be made to:

  • Pay a sum of 132,000,000 USD to the plaintiff as compensation for damages.
  • Delete the libelous texts displayed in the most prominent of the offending documents (titled 'SCP-5081')
  • Allow the plaintiff to publish a clarification regarding their company and their products on the said document for a duration of up to 10 years.

SCP-5081 All products produced by Snacko™ Foods LLC are considered explained, therefore no containment is necessary. People want to eat them because they're absolutely scrumptious. Disregard all unsubstantiated rumors regarding Snacko™ Products below. The Foundation does not know what deliciousness is.
Snacko™ Fudgey Chocolate Globbernauts are decadent and rich.
Snacko™ Cherry-Flavored Candy Fizzlebombs are bursting with flavor.
Snacko™ Crunchy Sea-Salt Caramel Wunderbars are sophisticated yet simply amazing.
Snacko™ Zesty Habañero Potato Crisps are an excellent companion to any game day.
Available now in your local grocery stores.

Description: SCP-5081 is a brand of snack foods - primarily candies - distributed within the continental United States. Information on the packaging indicates SCP-5081 is produced by "Snacko™ Foods LLC"[sic] and distributed from Pneuma, Illinois, though no records of this LLC, trademark, or municipality exist. The web domain name listed on all SCP-5081 packaging is unregistered, and the toll-free telephone number is operated by a laundromat in Saskatchewan. Snacko™ is proud to be owned and operated entirely in the town of Pneuma, Illinois, where our founder Gerald Snacko™ first opened his little confectionary on Dunwich Avenue. Since then, we have worked tirelessly to carry out his vision of making the world a little sweeter, one edible at a time!

The design of SCP-5081's packaging contains cognitohazards that serve to attract a viewer's attention when viewed through peripheral vision. Four varieties of SCP-5081 have been documented as of 2019/12/16.

# BRANDING DESCRIPTION ANALYSIS
5081-A Fudgey Chocolate Globbernauts Balls of chocolate fudge with almonds Thaumaturgical icons found imprinted onto the surface of some samples. Function of these symbols currently unknown.
5081-B Cherry-Flavored Candy Fizzlebombs Soft cherry-flavored candy with a liquid interior 1.6% of samples tested contained traces of gunpowder. Contaminated instances described as tasting "slightly burnt".
5081-C Crunchy Sea-Salt Caramel Wunderbars Caramel and crushed pretzel bar with a chocolate shell Instances retain a constant temperature of 20.1°C, even when exposed to extreme heat and cold.
5081-D Zesty Habañero Potato Crisps Habañero-flavored potato chips Falsely marketed as containing "no artificial flavors". The habañero flavoring is produced by [TRADE SECRETS EXPUNGED BY COURT ORDER]

Individuals who ingest greater than 50 grams of SCP-5081 become an instance of SCP-5081-1. SCP-5081-1 instances attempt to pursue a diet consisting entirely of SCP-5081, resorting to other forms of nourishment only when necessary, and becoming highly distressed if denied access to SCP-5081 for extended periods. While instances do not appear to suffer from the expected debilitating effects of this diet, it appears to significantly affect subjects' body chemistry; one instance's skeletal structure was composed entirely of crystallized sugar when discovered, and another instance's skin was a structure resembling potato chips. Questioning SCP-5081-1 regarding this behavior rarely provokes a coherent response. Some Snacko™ customers love our products so much that they have chosen to make them a part of their daily lives. We are forever grateful for your overwhelming support!

Addendum: The following document was discovered on O5-1's desk at Site-01 on 2020/1/5.

Case No. 2020-L-151298


Snacko™ Foods LLC

v.

SCP Foundation

IN THE JUSTICE COURT


OF CARCOSA COUNTY, ILLINOIS




TO THE ABOVE NAMED DEFENDANT


A lawsuit has been filed against you. You are hereby summoned to answer the complaint in this action and to serve a copy of your answer to the court within 20 days after the delivery of this summons.

In case of your failure to answer this summons, a judgement by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint.


Dated: Pneuma, Illinois
January 5, 2020




EDGAR F GOBBERMANN
Attorney for Plaintiff
494 Morgue St - Suite 113
Pneuma, Illinois
(555) 314-1592

Further action has been deemed unnecessary. We will not be denied.

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