SCP-INTEGER
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rating: +246+x

DEPT. OF MISCOMMUNICATIONS NOTICE
"A semiohazard, informally, is a fact of the universe that just shouldn't be true, but functionally is. They are inherently abstract and affect the way that we think and communicate about reality.'Intro to Semiontology' by S. M. KATZ, ESQ.."

A particularly costly example of one such fact is, "The operations of 'YWTGTSYT' are perfectly legal," which is currently requiring the Foundation Legal Department to entirely redraft Texas corporate law.NOTE: Bureaucratohazards are a subset of semiohazard affecting bureaucratic systems.. Such things are facts of baseline reality; they always have been, and always will be, true. But they shouldn't, and we know they shouldn't. They aren't part of reality because reality says so, but because reality has been pulled inside-out by the conceptual nature of semantic equivalence itself. Alas, there is nothing we can do but reframe our definition of baseline and move on. To purposely poke at the bugs in the simulation is to invite a crash.

Read on, knowing that you must accept what the universe says is true, even if it doesn't make sense. One plus one doesn't always equal two.

Item#: scp-integer
Level∶№
Containment Class:
challenge
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
influence
Risk Class:
volatility

ABSTRACT_RISK

A symbolic identifier representing 'VOLATILITY', apparently abstracted from SCP-INTEGER's original Risk Class

ABSTRACT_RISK

A symbolic identifier representing 'VOLATILITY', apparently abstracted from SCP-INTEGER's original Risk Class

SECURITY MEASURES: SCP-INTEGER must only be semantically identified using 'correct' identifiers, including 'NAME', 'BEING', 'ENTITY' and others. However, 'SCP-INTEGER' is the suggested identifier, due to others being either redundant or only conditionally 'correct'.

Knowledge of SCP-INTEGER and its properties should be restricted to only the necessary personnel for containment, including Dr. Placeholder and one member of the Department of Miscommunications, enforceable via amnesticization. However, extensions for research purposes may be permitted by Dir. Forkley on a case-by-case basis. Note that this FILE has been strictly organized such that non-abstract information concerning SCP-INTEGER and/or SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instances is not directly communicated via identifiers. For the sake of clarity, correct identifiers for SCP-INTEGER and SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT have been made distinct via blue and green coloration (respectively). Updates to this FILE, if any, are encouraged to remain consistent with these principles.

SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instances that do not possess sapience are to be contained at Site-15. Access to such instances for research of semiontological anomalies (a.k.a. semiohazards) may be permitted to personnel possessing Level 4 clearance or higher. With regards to SCIENTIST instances, SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instances possessing sapience need not be contained unless, as a result of their properties or otherwise, they inhibit the containment of SCP-INTEGER.


EXPLANATION: SCP-INTEGER is a HAZARD.A semiontological anomaly (semiohazard) is a disruption of the Semiosphere (the medium through which information about reality travels before it is perceived or measured) which results in reality's apparent adherence to some non-real axiom. COMPLEX that simplifies 'incorrect' designations and classifications of itself and instances of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT. In the event that SCP-INTEGER is 'incorrectly' designated or classified through any form of semantic communication, said identifier becomes abstracted.Abstraction: The generalization of a concept. by one Cuil.The Cuil is a unit of measurement denoting one level of abstraction away from the reality of a situation.. The new, abstracted identifier is retroactively incorporated into the CONSTRUCT as 'correct'. Additionally, its respective medium of communication will become an instance of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT.LESSON..

The consequences of SCP-INTEGER's effects are as follows:

  • SCP-INTEGER is, has always been, and will always be identified using names that it has retroactively caused to be factually correct, and the use of any other identifier is considered incorrect. This is also true of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instances.
  • Incorrect identification of the SCP-INTEGER, from baseline perspective, has never occurred, due to retroactive creation of objective fact. However, the state of this FILE indicates that it has been published with incorrect designations multiple times, and subsequently became an instance of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT.

Due to its tendency to make useful labels and categorizations redundant, SCP-INTEGER poses significant nomenclative difficulties to Site-15 documentation and personnel. Due to its semantic nature, SCP-INTEGER shares similarities with memetic hazards, and a single incorrect designation could lead to the rapid propagation of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT throughout Site-15 and its documents, crashing file systems and potentially causing several other containment breaches by preventing effective communication.

Other known 'correct' identifiers for SCP-INTEGER include:

  • 'THING'
  • 'CONSTRUCT' (when referring to semantics)
  • 'CHALLENGE' (when referring to containment)
  • 'INFLUENCE' (when referring to potential disruption)
  • 'VOLATILITY' (when referring to immediate risk)
  • 'HAZARD', 'HAZARD COMPLEX' (when referring to semiontological phenomena)
  • [RESTRICTED PER PROTOCOL 4000-ESHU].FORBIDDEN. (when referring to narrative and/or pataphysical elements)
  • 'ISSUE' (when referring to difficulty).See ADDITION INTEGER-LETTER.

SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT is the designation for THINGS, including both ITEMS and BEINGS, that have served as a medium of communication for an incorrect designation or classification of SCP-INTEGER. Upon becoming an instance of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT, its identifiers are similarly abstracted by SCP-INTEGER. Incorrect identifications of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instances will be abstracted, but their respective media of communication do not become further instances.

The following is a list of known instances of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT.

Correct Identifier(s) Non-identifying EXPLANATION
'FILE', 'ACCESS' (when referring to protocol), 'SECURITY MEASURE' (when referring to protocol), 'EXPLANATION' (when referring to descriptiveness), 'RESTRICTION' (when referring to reduced access), 'ERASED' (when referring to expungement), 'ADDITION' (when referring to new content), 'INQUIRY' (when referring to gathering knowledge) Contains electronic information concerning SCP-INTEGER.
'PAGE', 'SHEET' Contains physical information concerning SCP-INTEGER, and is composed of cellulose pulp.
'INSTRUMENT.It is unknown whether this identifier is considered an abstraction of the conventional identifier for INSTRUMENT, or if it was semantically conflated with its homonym, the woodwind instrument.' Contains auditory information concerning SCP-INTEGER, used for INQUIRY.
'DISPLAY' Shows electronic information, and is connected to a computer.
'SCIENTIST' or 'RESEARCHER', 'INQUISITOR' (when referring to gathering knowledge.See ADDITION INTEGER-LETTER.) At the time of writing, 3 of these instances exist. Either currently or previously employed at Site-15.
'Doctor Placeholder McDoctorate, PhD.', 'Dr. PhD. McPhD., PhD.', or any combination of at least two components of the above names, ordered left to right. Site-15 Director. Note: instance is unique in that only proper-noun or title designations are corrected. Dr. Placeholder is legally unable to change this, as it is an objective fact that this is his name.PUNISHMENT..

The Foundation became aware of SCP-INTEGER on 05/05/20██, when [ERASED].A MORTAL spoke its TRUE NAME., resulting in Dr. Placeholder becoming the first known instance of SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT. After publishing the first draft of FILE, he attempted to discuss it with a SCIENTIST, and discovered SCP-INTEGER's pseudo-memetic properties. Dr. Placeholder proceeded to use FILE to derive the mechanics of SCP-INTEGER's effect, before developing more informed SECURITY MEASURES.


ADDITION INTEGER-LETTER: INQUIRY LOG
INQUISITOR: SCIENTIST-LETTER
INTERVIEWED: Dr. Placeholder
FOREWORD: Attempted interview of Dr. Placeholder to ascertain the nature of SCP-INTEGER. Terminated due to SCIENTIST-LETTER's lack of understanding concerning SCP-INTEGER's SECURITY MEASURES. Note that the FILE used in this INQUIRY did not yet contain an EXPLANATION demonstrating accuracy.
«BEGIN LOG»
INQUISITOR: Dr. Placeholder, this INQUIRY is being conducted exactly fifteen minutes after you updated the SECURITY MEASURES for SCP-INTEGER. We'd like to know exactly what the hell anything in that FILE means.

Dr. PhD.: This INQUIRY is going to look just as useless on FILE. I already tried to tell SCIENTIST, you can't [UNPROFESSIONALISM ERASED] talk about it specifically.

INQUISITOR: And why is that, might I ask?

Dr. PhD.: What part of, 'can't talk about it,' don't you understand? You have the PAGE in front of you, right?

INQUISITOR: I'm the INQUISITOR asking the questions here.

Dr. PhD.: [ERASED], fine. You see that list of terms? We can only talk about SCP-INTEGER using those terms.

INQUISITOR: (The INQUISITOR examines the FILE.) Okay… So, how did you become aware of the HAZARD?

Dr. PhD.: All I can tell you is that I found- (A painful groan is heard.) …I said something that I shouldn't have said. That should never be said. Ever.

INQUISITOR: Unhelpful, but duly noted. Could you attempt to somehow convey what SCP-INTEGER does with a little more clarity? Try your best?

Dr. PhD.: (Scoffs.) If you use any other word than what's on that list, it'll take some general category that the word is in, and add the word for that category to the list.

INQUISITOR: …Go on.

Dr. PhD.: And, it'll do the same to you, and give you your own personal list. So I suggest you stick to the SECURITY MEASURES.

INQUISITOR: I'm not sure I understand. So what if this THING attaches a list to me?

Dr. PhD.: Be [ERASED] careful! Haven't you had a briefing on semiohazards? It's not just a list of words- it's a list of facts. There's no way around them, and there's no way of undoing them. You're lucky 'THING' is on the list, or we'd be stuck calling you RESEARCHER for the rest of time. And from the beginning of time.

INQUISITOR: Ah… well, this is quite the ISSUE.MISTAKE., isn't it?

Dr. PhD.: Yeah, no kidding.

(A strong breeze moves through the room.)

Dr. PhD.: (Sharp inhale.) Wait, the [ERASED] list! I didn't write that-

INQUISITOR: Wait, what? But ISSUE is a correct identifier for SCP-INTEGER.

Dr. PhD.: (A pause is followed by an exasperated sigh.) I really tried, INQUISITOR.

INQUISITOR: Wait, something doesn't feel right- why am I INQUISITOR?

Dr. PhD.: Whatever you actually just said wasn't a correct identifier until you misidentified it. I've had to call you SCIENTIST-LETTER for years now, and I finally know why.

INQUISITOR: Wait, but… that doesn't… that shouldn't be my name- What the [ERASED] is going on!?
«END LOG»
CLOSING STATEMENT: Evidence would suggest that SCIENTIST-LETTER's status as an SCP-INTEGER-DIGIT instance was retroactively caused by negligence of SECURITY MEASURES during the above INQUIRY. SCIENTIST-LETTER's subsequent amnesticization request granted, despite minimal predicted effectiveness.

NOTICE: A semiohazardous error has occurred while viewing this file. The following PARABLE may not correspond to objective reality.



rating: +246+x

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