rating: +32+x
Item#: 5323
Containment Class:
Secondary Class:
Disruption Class:
Risk Class:

Special Containment Procedures: The object is not to be described or mentioned in physical print, nor appear in any visual media shot with film reel technology, under any circumstances. Vocalization and digital text are, at this time, regarded as the only safe methods of discussion. The object is otherwise to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell, and afforded all accommodations and amenities considered standard for humanoid habitation as defined by the Ethics Committee. All personnel that are assigned to SCP-5323 must be thoroughly vetted and approved by no fewer than three staff members with Level 4 Clearance or higher.

Description: SCP-5323 is a white humanoid lacking any visible hair, eyes, ears, or a nose, but is capable of functioning normally despite these abnormalities. SCP-5323 appears to be resistant to the effects of aging, having not changed in appearance since entering Foundation custody twenty years ago. The object prefers to be referred to as "Alan Smithee", and is generally cooperative with Foundation personnel if also abrasive in social interactions.

Apart from the aforementioned physical characteristics, the object is otherwise normal and exhibits no outwardly anomalous abilities unless it is described in physical print (either handwritten or typed using a typewriter or similar instrument), at which point [DATA CORRUPTED]

This document is currently undergoing extensive troubleshooting. In the meantime, PDF files of old scanned documents may be found below. — Site Director DeBruin

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