Item #: SCP-5602
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A permanent installation designated Area-881 is to be established around SCP-5602. MTF Lambda-44 ("Cross Guards") are to be on indefinite assignment at Area-881. A 1x1 km perimeter is to be established around Area-881, and marked as a hazardous landfill to dissuade civilian intrusion. Foundation field agents have been embedded in state and federal environmental safety agencies to provide false inspection reports and maintain secrecy. Foundation elements in the Portland City Council are to actively oppose and prevent development and/or expansion in the vicinity of Area-881. Individuals exposed to an SCP-5602-P event are to be transported a safe distance from human settlements before being allowed to succumb to the accompanying cognitohazard.
Description: SCP-5602 is a recurring anomaly located on the now-decommissioned Foster Road in Southeastern Portland, Oregon. On a daily basis, most frequently between the hours of 10AM to 3PM, a white Gallus gallus domesticus1 will manifest on the eastern side of the road. The entity, hereby designated SCP-5602-1, will attempt to reach the western side of the road at a walking speed of approximately 2 mph. Following 68% of recorded completed 5602 events, an anomalous event is triggered. Any form of this event is designated SCP-5602-P. Following the conclusion of SCP-5602-P, an auditory effect identified as a comic rimshot will manifest, ranging from 140-200 dB. Subjects exposed to any SCP-5602-P event are coerced into reciting a joke with logic consistent with the preceding P-event (the "punchline"), as soon as presented with the opportunity in the form of human conversation. Recitation triggers an additional auditory effect, often with destructive effect.
SCP-5602-1 demonstrates an ability to develop a resistance to methods of termination used repeatedly against it. Currently, SCP-5602-1 has developed an high resistance to small arms fire, incendiary weapons, sustained machine gun fire, and anti-tank ordnance placed in its path.
Transcription of Memo on 5/16/19██ from Site-64 Director █████:
Good Morning Team,
Following the events of Incident P011, the containment area around Provisional SCP Designation-5602 will receive immediate construction priority.
The remaining third of MTF Mu-78 ("Cryptids") will be merged with current staff assigned to PSCPD-5602 and are hereby redesignated MTF Lambda-44 ("Cross Guards"). For any Mu-78 members still possessing extra limbs, please report to your Medical Liaison to determine your ability to serve in Lambda-44.
L-44, your orders are simple. Kill that godforsaken bird.
