SCP-5650
rating: +37+x
salmon.jpg

An excerpt from the 'Angles of Salmon', detailing suitable types of salmon.

Item #: SCP-5650

Containment Class: Keter-Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: Five kilograms of salmon are to be delivered to the Department of Tactical Mathematics (DTM) at Site-155 every month for research into SCP-5650. After experimentation and taste-testing, all instances of salmon are to be incinerated.

Academic developments concerning the Banach-Tarski theorem1 are to be monitored and guided in order to conceal the existence of SCP-5650.

Description: SCP-5650 is a physical implementation of the Banach-Tarski theorem, primarily involving several methods of cutting salmon (Salmo salar). When a whole salmon is cut in specific ways, its pieces can be rearranged to produce other salmon of varying sizes2.

SCP-5650 is detailed in the book 'Angles of Salmon', purportedly written by a 'Terenz Tau'. Said book focuses on enhancing salmon-based cuisine via exotic mathematical concepts.

The Foundation's main interest in SCP-5650 lies in the fact that its methods could cause secondary anomalous effects when they are modified using derivative models and equations of the theorem. There is a large potential in researching them, especially for enhancing material production and resource management.

Using advanced computational algorithms and precise cutting equipment, other derivative methods have been determined and performed. The notable effects of these derivative methods are listed below, along with the number of cuts needed for causing them.

Date: 05/05/2020

No. of Cuts: 625

Effect: Five salmon similarly-sized to the original are produced.

Note: Under my supervision, the DTM hopes to prove that mathematical laws can be manipulated to serve the Foundation's goals, focusing on their predictability and rigidity. For now, we will focus on enlarging and contorting the salmon. - O5-5 Isagani Morales.


Date: 05/06/2025

No. of Cuts: 13165

Effect: 25 pieces of salmon are produced; they have an average size that is 450 percent greater than the original sample, while they decompose 65 percent slower than expected. However, these are safe for consumption, though the flavor is stated to be too bland.


Date: 06/15/2030

No. of Cuts: 1025

Effect: With no noticeable effects, 15 salmon were produced. Taste-testing using D-Class personnel reveals favorable taste.

However, most of the D-Class personnel fell ill five minutes later, with them vomiting and suffering from diarrhea; Analysis of the remaining salmon reveals that these had an average of 135 grams of Salmonella enterica inside them, despite earlier measurements showing only around five grams.

Measurement systems are rechecked, with them showing larger margins of error.


DTM NOTICE

In light of the last experiment, research into SCP-5650 is to be conducted inside an enhanced adaptive containment chamber, with conceptual safeguards. Testing is to now focus on derivative methods that have large potential for resolving or altering concept-based anomalies to the Foundation's benefit.

-O5-5 Isagani Morales


Date: 06/15/2035

No. of Cuts: 15625

Effect: Five salmon with the same size as the original are produced. These possess several topological3 anomalies, which have principles deemed to be practical for enhancing adaptive containment chambers.

Analysis of these anomalies with consideration to the Banach-Salmon theorem has revealed several means of producing more derivative methods.

Meanwhile, mathematical models using the principles of set theory4 have been incorrectly performing, despite proofs showing that they should do so.


Date: 05/10/2040

No. of Cuts: 5555

Effect: The arrangement and nature of the 625 salmon produced indicate alleviation of problems related to set theory, indicating that methods can be used to counter damage to baseline mathematics. Further testing is approved.


Date: 06/25/2045

No. of Cuts: 5005

Effect: Analysis of the 55 salmon produced results in the creation of a complete salmon-derived counterexample to the Salmon-Salmon theorem. In response to this, the DTM has produced a corresponding model to apply this counterexample for furthering baseline mathematics to go 'upstream'5.

Meanwhile, testing is to continue in order to reverse conceptual damage via the use of new theorems, under the DTM's belief of mathematical rigidity6.


Date: 06/15/2050

No. of Cuts: 5055

Effect: The 55 salmon produced can be seen as minimal counterexamples to the Salmon-Tarski theorem.

Sensors reported fluctuating readings of salmon floating around inside the containment chamber; upon testing, these did not adhere to the Salmon-Tarski theorem, and taste-testing elicited varying opinions.

Later on, these salmon indicate that baseline mathematics and reality are moving 'upstream'. Class-A DTM protocols are to now be initiated. Further testing is required to test and manipulate this result.


Date: 03/20/2055

No. of Cuts: 5

Effect: Theorems produced afterwards violently push upstream, causing other theorems and mathematical concepts to be crushed7.

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