SCP-5777
rating: +106+x

The anomaly described in this file is Neutralized. Its former documentation is archived below.

Item №: SCP-5777

bush.jpg

The SCP-5777 settlement, as seen at midday. Click to enlarge.

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: An electric fence has been built around the territory containing SCP-5777. Trespassers are to be captured (by non-lethal means if possible), amnesticized, and released.

For their own safety, personnel must stay at least 50 meters away from the center of the SCP-5777 settlement.

Description: SCP-5777 is a group of 8 16 approximately 96 humanoid entities located near Kennedys Bush, New Zealand. The entities range from 1.3 to 1.7 meters tall, and have blue skin and blond or red hair. They are nocturnal; their settlements and artifacts emerge spontaneously during dusk and disappear during dawn. They can coordinate and use tools, are capable of fluent speech (in English and Māori), and have mild ontokinetic abilities. It is believed that the patupaiarehe (fairies) of Māori folklore correspond to SCP-5777.

In November 1998, security personnel observed an uptick in SCP-5777 activity. Neighboring civilians have filed noise complaints, and a majority of the trees in the area have been chopped down. Dr Linda Fourier was sent to investigate.

Interview Log 5777-1

1998-11-09

Interviewer: Dr Linda Fourier

Interviewed: SCP-5777-1, SCP-5777-2, SCP-5777-3


Fourier: Hello, I'm—

[SCP-5777-1 advances; this startles Fourier, who raises her hands in defense. It takes this opportunity to grab Fourier's right hand and shake it vigorously.]

SCP-5777-1: Hellohellohello! So good to see you today. This is Ana, Te Ao, and I'm Kauri, and your name is?

Fourier: Dr Fourier—

SCP-5777-1: Doctor Fourier! I could see by the way you charged in just now that you're a learned woman, a lady of science, who's come all the way to our humble office to—

[SCP-5777-1 pauses its shaking, giving Fourier the opportunity to pull her hand out of its grasp.]

SCP-5777-1: —invest?

Fourier: Actually, I was going to ask what you were doing—

SCP-5777-1: Always happy to answer! Dr Fourier, we're making a startup. Kereru. Dot com.

Fourier: Okay. [Pauses to take notes.] So what does Kereru, uh, dot com, create?

SCP-5777-1: Oh, you know… the usual. Disrupting the market with our secret sauce. Building tomorrow, today. Synergy. It's a paradigm shift—we have to take it to the next level, strike while the iron is hot.

Fourier: … I see.

[SCP-5777-2 barges in, pushing SCP-5777-1 to the side.]

SCP-5777-2: Kauri, you're scaring her.

Fourier: No, no, it's—

SCP-5777-2: Sorry about that. I'm sure that as a woman of science, you would be more interested in the technical side of our business. Rest assured that we use only the hottest technologies on the market, including…

[SCP-5777-2 clears its throat.]

SCP-5777-2: … isomorphic1 NodeJS2 microservices3 in the cloud,4 functorial intelligence5 in the Internet of Things.6 It's big data, it's web scale, it's… it's…

[SCP-5777-3 bursts out from between -1 and -2.]

SCP-5777-3: Blockchain.7

Observation Log 5777-1

1998-11-09 – 1999-03-04

In the center of the settlement, the SCP-5777 entities have formed a stack of woven flax sheets. When a sheet is removed, reality in a ~ 25 meter radius is reset to the time when the sheet was added to the pile. This effect includes the SCP-5777 themselves, who have often been duplicated or destroyed through its activation.

The SCP-5777 entities dig a shallow pit and fill it with wooden planks and sticks, in an apparent attempt to light a fire. After a few tries, they succeed; they scream and scatter from the pit, leaving the fire behind.

The SCP-5777 instances tear down the whakairo8 ornaments from their homes and throw them into the fire. They mount depictions of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Whoopi Goldberg in their place.

Interview Log 5777-2

1999-03-04

Interviewer: Dr Linda Fourier

Interviewed: SCP-5777-1, SCP-5777-2, SCP-5777-3


Fourier: How's it going today?

SCP-5777-2: Very well. Our decentralized monolith architecture has allowed us to scale to the next billion users with six nines.

SCP-5777-1: Sounds great, Ana! Bill Gates would be proud of you.

SCP-5777-2: [Smiles.] Thank you.

Fourier: Bill Gates?

SCP-5777-1: Oh, he's one of the people we look up to. You know, like Robert Levitan9 or Greg McLemore10 or Michael Fenne11

SCP-5777-3: Heroes.

SCP-5777-1: —all pioneers, pushing the envelope in their own way.

Fourier: I see.

SCP-5777-1: And one day, it'll be our names on that list as well.

[SCP-5777-1 turns around to face the other SCP-5777 entities.]

SCP-5777-1: Isn't that right, everyone!?

[The SCP-5777 entities raise their hands and yell in acknowledgement. SCP-5777-1 turns back around, and grins.]

SCP-5777-1: That's the spirit.

Observation Log 5777-2

1999-03-04 – 1999-11-19

The SCP-5777 entities, led by SCP-5777-2, begin to construct a wooden tower over the fire pit. As expected, it starts to burn; however, rather than attempting to put out the fire, SCP-5777-2 commands them to build further. Eventually, the structure collapses and the entities all disappear into the pit.

The next night, the SCP-5777 entities emerge from the surrounding bush—apparently unharmed. They restart construction in the same location as before.

The SCP-5777 entities perform a haka,12 while repeating the word "developers" ad nauseum.

Through trial and error, the SCP-5777 entities have learned to use the flax sheets to create more of themselves. There are now 16 instances of SCP-5777.

Interview Log 5777-3

1999-11-19

Interviewer: Dr Linda Fourier

Interviewed: SCP-5777-1, SCP-5777-3


Fourier: Can I ask you guys a question?

SCP-5777-1: [Smirks.] That's all you do, but sure. Go for it.

Fourier: Why did you decide to start a tech company? I'm sure there are many other things you could have done instead.

SCP-5777-1: Well… you've been watching us the whole time right?

Fourier: That would be the case, yes.

SCP-5777-1: So you've seen how much we've changed. From some backwater village in the middle of nowhere, to—

[SCP-5777-1 gestures wildly at the settlement behind it.]

SCP-5777-1: —I mean, look at them! The smiles, the energy, it's an absolute three-sixty turnaround. And Ana…

[SCP-5777-1 sighs.]

SCP-5777-1: She used to spend all night, lying in bed, just… waiting for the sun to come up, you know?

Fourier: I'm sorry to hear that.

SCP-5777-1: Me too, doctor, me too. But now? She's pacing around, like, computer this, and computer that, and…

SCP-5777-3: Hope.

SCP-5777-1: That's a good word, yeah. Hope. That's what we have now.

Observation Log 5777-3

1999-11-19 – 2000-05-20

The SCP-5777 entities realize that they cannot continue building the tower upward, as the space is obstructed by an overhanging cliff. SCP-5777-1 and SCP-5777-2 spend the next hour arguing over what to do next, before SCP-5777-3—unbeknownst to the others—pushes the whole structure out from under the overhang. Miraculously, the tower remains standing. The argument stops, and the entities resume construction.

A growing number of SCP-5777 entities have been dying in occupational accidents. This effect has caused the SCP-5777 population to stabilize at ~ 96.

Interview Log 5777-4

2000-05-20

Interviewer: Dr Linda Fourier

Interviewed: SCP-5777-2


Fourier: Hi, Ana! It's been a while since I've talked to you—

SCP-5777-2: Yes, I've been busy.

[Silence.]

Fourier: Is everything all right?

SCP-5777-2: Yes, everything is all right.

[Silence.]

SCP-5777-2: We will—

[Silence.]

Fourier: If you're feeling uncomfortable—

SCP-5777-2: We will succeed.

[Silence.]

SCP-5777-2: March 13. Japan enters a recession, triggering a global market sell-off. We will succeed.

[Silence.]

SCP-5777-2: April 3. Microsoft found guilty of monopolization and tying; Nasdaq sinks 350 points. We will succeed.

[Silence.]

SCP-5777-2: May 18. Boo.com files for bankruptcy, in what media call the greatest dot-com bust in history. We will succeed.

[Silence.]

SCP-5777-2: We will succeed. We will succeed. We will—

[Silence.]

Fourier: I'm sorry.

Observation Log 5777-4

2000-05-20 – 2000-09-25

A group of five SCP-5777 entities suddenly stop work, lay down their tools, and gather in the center of the settlement. A brief silence passes before one of the entities bends over, its head oriented upward, and begins to rhythmically pull the straps on its shoes while yelling: "Haere! Haere! Haere!"13 The other four entities follow, pulling and yelling, and soon the group would lift off the ground and disappear into the night sky.

The remaining instances do not react to this incident.

The remaining SCP-5777 entities complete the tower. They gather around the structure and rejoice through song and dance.

During the celebration, a juvenile SCP-5777 instance inadvertently runs into a wooden post, dislodging it and causing the tower to collapse.

Interview Log 5777-5

2000-09-25

Interviewer: Dr Linda Fourier

Interviewed: SCP-5777-1, SCP-5777-3


Fourier: You look a bit wary today.

SCP-5777-3: No.

[Silence.]

Fourier: Are you okay?

SCP-5777-1: Yeah, yeah, we're fine, I mean we've lost our top engineers, and Ana just disappeared off the face of the earth, but, but—

[SCP-5777-3 grabs SCP-5777-1 by the shoulders.]

SCP-5777-3: Stop.

[SCP-5777-1 pauses; it closes its eyes and takes a deep breath.]

SCP-5777-1: Thanks, Te Ao. But yeah, doctor, it's all good. We've still got a million and a half in cash. We'll pull through. We have to.

Observation Log 5777-5

2000-11-09

The tower catches fire. It collapses; due to its excessive height, it falls outward and spreads the fire to surrounding bush. The SCP-5777 entities panic and run around the settlement, further propagating the blaze.

Eventually, the fire reaches the stack of flax sheets, which bursts into a column of flame. As the flax burns, the SCP-5777 instances and their artifacts warp and stretch—causing the entities great distress—before disappearing altogether. By dawn, the flax has burned completely; its ash is the only remaining evidence of SCP-5777.

Neutralized classification pending.


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