SCP-5780
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rating: +21+x
Item #: SCP-5780 Level 4/5780
Object Class: Euclid Classified

paris.jpg

The area produced by SCP-5780; note the resemblance to Parisian landmarks. Egg remains not shown.


Special Containment Procedures

SCP-5780 is to be housed in a standard avian containment unit in Site-155. Eggs produced by SCP-5780 are to be destroyed. Testing of eggs is to be approved by the Site Director and the Location Selection Committee.

The area produced by SCP-57801 is to be minimally monitored for any anomalous activity. A full blackout protocol is to be initiated using Foundation web crawlers to conceal it. Due to the isolated location of SCP-5780-1, demolishing it has been considered impractical and inefficient.

Access to Gastoneu documents detailing the ritual used for SCP-5780 is limited to personnel with Level 5/Clearance. The ritual is to be investigated for its potential in reestablishing cities and landmarks after an XK-Class scenario.

Description

goose.png

SCP-5780-A.

SCP-5780 refers to three yellow African geese2 (Anser anser domesticus) whose eggs have a 30 percent chance of undergoing a Hachure Event. This produces a copy of Paris3, which is designated as an SCP-5780-1 instance.

During a Hachure Event, an egg's size will exponentially increase over the course of one day. It will then crack and leak approximately 15,200 liters of a red, alcoholic fluid. Afterward, the shell will break down, revealing an SCP-5780-1 instance4.

Explorations of SCP-5780-1 instances show that they are non-anomalous, aside from being covered in albumen and having non-functional electrical and water lines.

The taste of eggs produced by SCP-5780 is reportedly similar to wine. No health effects have been noted, however, and no Hachure Events have occurred after consumption.

Prior to its containment, SCP-5780 was under the care of the Gastoneu and Sons Company, a leading poultry firm in France. According to Gastoneu dossiers, SCP-5780 is the result of a complex thaumaturgic ritual performed on geese. This involves 650 L of ethanol, 35 kg of egg albumen, 20th-century maps of Paris, and several thaumaturgic chants. The result is 500 mg of a clear liquid, which is injected into SCP-5780.

Supervised by Félicien Gastoneu, the company's CEO, the ritual was performed on one of his islands in the Pacific. Recovered documents indicate that Gastoneu was unsuccessful in conducting the ritual for the last five years5.

Capture Report (09/06/2020)

SCP-5780 was continuously yielding eggs in the first SCP-5780-1 instance. The subsequent Hachure Events resulted in the emergence of buildings in random locations, causing several parts of the city to become unrecognizable. Due to the city's size, 50 drones were deployed in order to capture SCP-5780.

There is a marked decrease in SCP-5780's activity in containment and a drop in egg production.

Analysis of the painting found indicates that it was created in 2015, during which Gastoneu was reportedly stressed and frequently requested leaves to devote more time to family matters.

Interview Report

Gastoneu was interviewed by the Foundation concerning his motives for creating SCP-5780. Records show that Gastoneu has taken on a smaller administrative role in the company due to his age and personal matters.

FILED UNDER DOCUMENT TYPE IN-01
09/16/2020

Interview 5780-01

Interviewer: Level-3 Diplomatic Officer Albert Morlisson

Interviewed: Félicien Gastoneu

Location: Executive Office, Gastoneu Headquarters, Paris, France


— [[BEGIN INTERVIEW]] —

gastoneu.jpg

Félicien Gastoneu.

The song Belles! Belles! Belles! is being played on a record player. Humming, Gastoneu enters the interview room.

Morlisson: Good afternoon, Mr. Gastoneu. <Shuffles several documents.>

Gastoneu: It's a fine day after all. I suppose that you approached me for the whole golden geese fiasco? Let's, <Points finger up for several seconds.> get the ball rolling, shall we?

Morlisson: <Silent for five seconds.> Yes. We are hoping that you could provide your motives for creating them.

Gastoneu: <Smirks.> I see. Tell me, young man, have you gone to Paris?

Morlisson: Not yet, Mr. Gastoneu, but of course, I hope to.

Gastoneu: Hmm, 'not yet', you say… you know, when I was a little runt, I really wanted to break all the 'not yets' and 'whatnots' that I thought of, and I wanted the means and money to do them. And… <Chuckles.> look at what I have now. Well, it's not certainly something I shouldn't really brag about.

Morlisson: What do you mean?

Gastoneu stands up and fetches a bottle of red wine.

Gastoneu: <Grins.> Of course, when you have the money, well, wouldn't you be more adventurous in doing things that no one will do? But alas, listen to what this old man will say.

My parents were humble poultry owners, dealing mainly with geese. But, <Points his finger up.> when they had money, they went to Paris during the 70s, and hear songs like L’opportuniste and La Madrague playing in the restaurants. I tagged along, and it was fun to be with them.

One of the lessons they taught me is that I should become very creative and free in what I'm trying to do. Be an interesting person - be Parisian! <Pumps his fists in the air.>

Morlisson: I see, and this is a rather interesting story, Mr. Gastoneu. Given your disposition, this led to the creation of the geese?

Gastoneu: Yes. You see, for an old man like me, no matter how energetic I can get, Paris of today is too fast-paced. Tiring. It's too based on money and expenses now, but I work here because the big businesses are here.

Plus, my ailing mother - the opposite of me - wanted to enjoy its simpler charms, so… think of it as a present. <Smiles.> So, with the help of some friends in the industry, we immediately fiddled with some geese and made them 'gold'.

Morlisson: I understand. However, it appears that you have abandoned the project. Is that correct?

Gastoneu: <Smiles and sighs.> Well, think about it for a moment - what happens if the heat meets the chilly, empty air, monsieur? Or when a desolated city meets a man of festivities?

Silence for several seconds. Morlisson puts down the documents he was holding on the table, and rubs his chin.

I didn't even have the heart to show the Paris the geese made to my mother - it was devoid of nostalgia, laughter and fashion, and it was unfit for her.

Remember what I said about breaking the 'whatnots' and 'notyets' using money and power? I should have been more careful in approaching the line between wildness and vanity and learned that there are a lot, lot more things I can't bring back.

Gastoneu then smokes a cigarette and sighs.

Morlisson: <Shuffles documents.> Is there anything else you have to say, Mr. Gastoneu?

Gastoneu: <Chuckles, and coughs.> Well, I must tell you this now. The whole affair was a wild, but in the end, senseless goose chase, though I must admit, it was fun at the start.

— [[END INTERVIEW]] —


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