SCP-5821
rating: +82+x
BEZOS%20LAUGH.jpg

SCP-5821-1

Item #: SCP-5821

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5821 is currently contained through the efforts of PTF-Lambda-27 ("Amazon Brigade") in preventing any individual from harming SCP-5821-1 in their efforts to neutralize, cook, and eat him. Members of PTF-Lambda-27 are to be rotated out periodically, so that they do not act upon SCP-5821-1 themselves.

Description: SCP-5821 is a persistent memetic effect throughout the human population of Earth that the flesh of Jeffery Preston Bezos1 (henceforward SCP-5821-1) is the most desirable meat for human consumption. While all humans aside from SCP-5821-1 are subconsciously affected by the meme (and thus wish to consume SCP-5821-1's flesh), only a small number are aware of SCP-5821 to a degree where they will attempt to assassinate and subsequently cannibalize SCP-5821-1.

Memetic Degradation Analysis pinpoints the origin of this memetic property between April and August of 1997, and the meme has gradually increased in power over time, with more individuals becoming taken by the concept and acting upon it. SCP-5821-1 is aware of SCP-5821 and is cooperating with Foundation containment efforts.

Addendum 5821-1: Memo RE: Amazon Dissolution

Memorandum Regarding Recent Proposals for SCP-5821 Containment

Date: 2019/10/25


To: SCP-5821 Research Staff

From: O5-7

It has come to my attention that some alternate containment proposals have recently been discussed. I am saddened to inform you that, while your initiative in devising new and exciting methods of containment is commendable, the containment of SCP-5821 will not be subject to change for the foreseeable future.

The models predicting the total domination of the human psyche by SCP-5821 by 2050, while alarming, are still very new and consensus has not been reached by Foundation predictive divisions (I personally can tell you that some sources known to the O5 council suggest that the meme may perhaps be dissipating). As such, drastic, unproven measures such as Foundation seizure of the Amazon corporation or the dissolution of SCP-5821-1's assets simply cannot be justified, to say nothing of possible assassination!

To address a specific point of contention some of you brought up: while letting the subject of an anomaly weigh in on the methods and intricacies of its containment may be unorthodox, trust me when I say it's for the greater good. SCP-5821-1 understands intimately the difficulties the Foundation faces in containing the dangerous anomalies that threaten our world and has generously compensated us for resources used.

I understand fully that this may be difficult and confusing for you, and following the conclusion of my Caribbean yacht cruise I am willing to take the time to discuss this issue one-on-one with anyone who continues to take grievance with these actions.

Sincerely,
O5-7

Addendum 5821-2: Possible expansion in subjects affected by anomaly

Beginning on 2019/10/25, several members of the SCP-5821 Research Staff have exhibited a desire to consume O5-7. Research into this effect is currently ongoing.

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