SCP-5980
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Ethan

SCP-5980 prior to containment.

Item #: SCP-5980

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5980 is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment cell at Site 45. SCP-5980 does not require sustenance. SCP-5980 is allowed outside of its containment cell once per day for two hours for recreational activities, but is strictly prohibited from entering the cafeteria.

Food offered by SCP-5980 should be declined by personnel in order to maintain their mental health.

Description: SCP-5980 is the designation given to Ethan Chin, age 33.

SCP-5980 is capable of perfect cellular regeneration and is, by definition, biologically immortal. Given the regenerative properties of SCP-5980's cells, research into utilizing SCP-5980 for medicinal treatment is currently underway.

Extensive testing of samples taken from SCP-5980's body has revealed that its skin, as well as its organs, nerves, and fingernails, possess a flavour that is universally enjoyed by those that consume it. The flavor of SCP-5980 will vary depending on the consumer. SCP-5980 exhibits a pleasant aroma regardless of the seasoning it's cooked with.

SCP-5980 is amicable and will often encourage Foundation personnel to "have a bite" of it when they pass by. It is important to note that SCP-5980 does not exhibit any cognitohazardous properties.

Consumption of SCP-5980, while safe, is often detrimental to a subject's mental health.

Discovery:

SCP-5980 was discovered after several complaints were made in an establishment called Cannibal Chin's in northern New Jersey. A food critic claimed to have witnessed SCP-5980 remove its fingers with a kitchen knife before deep-frying them. These were later served as french fries. Several other civilians claimed to have caught glimpses of SCP-5980 self-mutilating in the kitchen moments before serving them food, and a Foundation investigation was instigated.

When questioned, SCP-5980 claimed to have no idea what it was doing wrong, and insisted that Foundation operatives have a complementary order off of the menu. Its requests were denied by all attending agents except for Agent ██████. Agent ██████, who was unaware of SCP-5980's anomalous properties, consumed the entirety of an order of fries, sized large, dipping each fry in a dark green milkshake. Agent ██████ was psychologically evaluated and later requested an amnestic. His request was approved.

SCP-5980 willingly came into Foundation custody once apprehended.

Cannibal Chin's was shut down using Cover Story 14 ("Health and Safety Violation") after four years of continuous operation.

Interview 5980.4:

Interviewer: Dr. Owen Andrews

Interviewee: SCP-5980

Dr. Andrews: Tell me again what you were doing at the restaurant.

SCP-5980: Growing food gets expensive, like, the costs was wayyy too steep man. I wish it 'didn't have to be that way, but when life gives ya lemons.

Dr. Andrews: Right, of course.

SCP-5980: Didja try the Finger Fries?

Dr. Andrews: I'm afraid not.

SCP-5980 holds out a finger.

SCP-5980: Tastes jus like chicken, I swear. Mmm mmm mmm! Have a bite, it doesn't hurt.

Dr. Andrews: Umm… Noo… Thanks? I had something to eat already.

SCP-5980: Suit yourself, man. You're missing out.

Dr. Andrews: How exactly did you make the items on the menu?

SCP-5980: Oh, that's easy. I crank up the heat real high if the water's running low, and I keep all my spare meat n' shit in the cooler. God, I think I'd die if I made every order at once.

Dr. Andrews: And what did people say to you when they found out that you were the source of their meals?

SCP-5980: Eh, forget about it. I didn't do nothing wrong. They're just a bunch of unappreciative bastards is all.

Dr. Andrews: That'll be all for now.

Addendum 5980.3:

The following is a list of items found on the menu of Cannibal Chin's.

Meatburger | Sm - 4.65 | Md 5.96 | Lg 7.82
Finger Fries | Sm - 1.99 | Md - 2.99 | Lg 3.99
Lemonade | 3.99
Chin's special chocolate | 5.00
Water | Free
Inside-Out Milkshake | Sm 3.99 | Md 4.99 | Lg 5.99
- Available in Chocolate, Mint, Vanilla and Strawberry

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