egg not yet Big
Item #: SCP-Big egg
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-Big egg is to kept in a specially manufactured Big egg carton located in Egg Observation Site 77. Any and all changes are to be immediately reported to the Site Director, who has the egg authority to call down Mobile Task Force Rho-19-Egg ("The Frying Pan") to dispatch or terminate SCP-Big egg using several jumbo, industrial size vats of Big balsamic vinegar.
Description: SCP-Big egg is a Big egg an unidentifiable object masked by an antimemetic egg field, which prevents any and all sapient breakfast consumers from perceiving it or the situations surrounding it in any other way than Big egg. A mild, yet Big semantic egg property prevents SCP-Big egg from being referred to as any other official, proper, or Big designation.
Visually, SCP-Big egg appears to be a Big egg, complete with appropriate egg parts such as shell, membrane, white and yolk, all of which have been appropriately upscaled to the correct Big to be fitting for Big egg. It was, at one point, a much smaller Big egg, but has since increased in Big since then.
Limited research conducted using mnestic egg drugs has suggested that Big egg's true form might be an obese, naked man, who has been observed running throughout the facility yelling "It worked! They'll never know I'm not Big egg!" These claims are in dispute, as a battery of scientific tests have shown SCP-Big egg to only be a bird egg of unusual Big. Reports of egging, Bigging, and general mayhem throughout the Foundation related to SCP-Big egg are to be roundly ignored, as its egg properties of Big and egg roundly preclude these possibilities.
Addendum-1:
Experiment #: 035
Testing: Length
Method: A standard tape measure and an egg ladder were used to precisely measure the exact size of Big egg.
Result: SCP-Big egg was found to be roughly Big centimeters.
Note: I'm not even sure what we were expecting.
Experiment #: 036
Testing: Semantic Resistance.
Method: D-3455 was instructed to walk up and clearly vocalize the words "egg big"
Result: [DATA EGGSPUNGED]
Note: Oh.
Addendum-2:
"Unfortunately, SCP-Big egg has recently experienced a growth spurt, meaning it is almost twice as Big and nearly four times as egg. The egg semantic property is beginning to spread to egg objects nearest Big egg as well, and there are several psychological and perceptive anomalies. The entire egg site is affected by this Big problem. What do you recommend?"
–Dr. Sunny Sydup
"This is Big. It's time to enact Protocol Big egg. I'm going to authorize MTF-BE to Big the egg once and for all!
–Site Director Chris P. Bacon
"Oh, Site Director! Not you too!"
–Dr. Sunny Sydup
"Big egg."
–Site Director Chris P. Bacon
"Big egg."
–Dr. Sunny Sydup
Addendum-3:
A Big sheet of egg paper was recovered alongside Big egg.
Wow! You've just found yourself your very own Breakfast Menu, a limited time collection served from 6:00 AM to 1:00 PM, from The Waffle Shop.
Eat them all and your money back!
01. Mr. Belgian Waffle
02. Mr. Belgian Waffle with chocolate chips
03. Mr. Stack of 4 Pancakes
04. Mr. French Toast
05. Mr. One Egg ✔
06. Mr. Two Eggs
07. Mr. Villager Omelet
08. Mr. Bacon and Cheese Omelet
09. Mr. Poached Egg
10. Ms. One Hot Fresh Cinnamon Roll Straight from Our Bakery
11. Mr. Bacon (four thick strips) or Mr. Sausage (five links)
12. Mr. Fruit Cup
13. Mr. Home Fries
14. Mr. Grapefruit
15. Mr. Cottage Cheese
16. Mr. Quaker® Hot Oatmeal with brown sugar
17. Mr. Juice (orange, apple, cranberry)
18. Mr. Coffee
19. Mr. Tea
20. Mr. Milk (chocolate, skim, whole, or fish)
eggdendum-Big:
Big egg. Big egg, Big egg Big egg.
touch it Biggity Big egg the egg gets Bigger
