Trilobutts: Many Reasons To Kill Them, and 0 Reasons Not To
rating: +45+x

You draw closer to the mysterious spot of IR light and see that it's another anomalocaris! Except it has a beard and is wearing a green cloak.

"Hello, anomalocaris!" you greet it. "You were a mysterious spot of heat on my heat detector that is inside my eyes but then I came up real close and I can see that you're just another anomalocaris. Hello! Can you talk?"

"Hello." it says. "I'm not an anomalocaris—"

You gasp. "A traitor! You must be trilobites!"

You ready an array of weapons and direct every single one of them at its fucking face.

"No, no!" it protests. "My name is the Book Keeper. You're in a dream. I'm being forced to keep you—"

"But but but but but!" you interrupt, "there are no Books to Keep, underwater, so you must be a traitorbite."

"No!" it cries. "Please. You have to trust me for just one moment, at least long enough for me to tell you what I need to say!"

Do you trust it?


This was written as part of the SCP Original Character Tournament, Round One, between NatVoltaicNatVoltaic's Gunhead Anomalocaris, Trilobite Slayer! and my own Senior Researcher ████ ████████.

I highly recommend that you check out NatVoltaic's entry, Derailment By Prehistoric Artillery Strike, which is far better than my crude imitation!



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