SCP-5968
rating: +7+x
Item#: SCP-5968
Level1
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
dark
Risk Class:
caution

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5968 is contained within a standard humanoid containment cell, and requires no food or water. Increasing erratic and antisocial behavior from SCP-5968 necessitates its isolation, excepting regular psychotherapy.

Excretions of SCP-5968 are not to be consumed. Incineration is recommended for disposal.

Description: SCP-5968 is a humanoid entity, externally resembling a young adult male of European origin, albeit with pronounced signs of acute malnutrition. Despite this, SCP-5968 has undergone no weight loss during its entire term of containment (six months) and therefore appears not to require sustenance. Scarring and ink traces on the back of its neck suggest a hastily removed tattoo.

SCP-5968 displays pronounced physiological abnormalities. Its circulatory system generates an endless flow of sugary fluids, including honey, maple syrup, food coloring, whipped cream, nougat, and mint chocolate chip ice cream throughout its body, which may be excreted in the same manner as blood, if SCP-5968's skin is cut. The bulk of SCP-5968's respiratory system (lungs, diaphragm, and some related musculature) has been replaced with replicas composed of acrylic, bound in cotton fabric. As SCP-5968 respirates, it exhales particles of various powdered seasonings, including cinnamon, cumin, turmeric, and brown and white sugar.

Materials excreted by SCP-5968 are chemically nonanomalous and are generally safe to consume. However, D-class personnel that have been involved in culinary experiments with SCP-5968 have been found to display a statistically unusual number of medical conditions not yet detected at their time of initial employment. Testing to verify the connection is pending.

SCP-5968 is generally cooperative and personable when interacting with Foundation personnel, but undergoes episodes of paranoia and anger with some regularity. Coughing fits, sleeping changes, mood swings, and seizures often co-occur. These episodes have increased in frequency and severity since SCP-5968 entered containment, and conventional psychotherapy has not as yet proved effective in improving its mental state.

Addendum 5968-1: Intake Interview

SCP-5968 was discovered in a defunct Coca-Cola bottling plant. Local children and teenagers had been exploiting SCP-5968 for its excretions until it unexpectedly turned violent, leading to police involvement and its later containment.

Interviewed: SCP-5968

Interviewer: Researcher A. Teles


SCP-5968 enters the interview room.

SCP-5968: [excitedly] Hey there, neighbor! I guess you'll be showing me around my new place!

Teles: Uh, yeah. Hello. So, at the moment we have you listed as SCP-5968, but if you have another name you use, we'd like to have it down for the file.

SCP-5968: I, young man, have the honor to be the esteemed Mr. Saccharine!

Teles: Mr.-

SCP-5968: Saccharine!

Teles: Right. And how long, exactly, have you been [reading] "bleeding Jell-O and caramel?"

SCP-5968: Why, all my life of course! I was born to bring sweetness and frivolity to all peoples!

Teles: And how long ago was… that?

SCP-5968: [hesitating] Well, I… it'd have to be before █████1! Oh, how the children there loved me! Why, the games we play -

Teles: Would it be right to say that you have no memory of what happened to you before the kids found you?

SCP-5968: Well, I can't say precisely, but do you not think it impossible that a fine vehicle of whimsy such as myself would go unused for long? You see!

SCP-5968 coughs up several grams of cinnamon onto the interview table.

Teles: Uh, ok. Moving on. So, why exactly did you push that girl down the -

SCP-5968: [shouting] I never wanted to go to that bitch's birthday party, that's all! I'm not a fucking gumball machine! WHAT I DO IS A GODDAMN ART FORM! Okay!?

Teles: Calm -

SCP-5968: [continuing to shout] Ten fucking weeks I gave those little shits all the sugary snacks their fat pathetic faces could hold! Did I complain? FUCKING NO! I don't spread complaints! I spread joy and laughter and sweetness and WHIMSY! That's what the doc made me to fucking do, and that's what I fucking did! He could never replace -

SCP-5968 breaks into a coughing fit, then vomits a mixture of sugar, salt and sprinkles onto the table and floor. The interview is prematurely ended.

Addendum 5968-2: Recovered Note

The following message was found affixed to the wall above SCP-5968 by a pink, purple and gold-colored pen.

Wowee! You've found your very own Mr. Toxic, from Dr. Wondertainment!

A warning to customers: Mr. Toxic is known to give off bad vibes! It's best not to hold onto him for too long, and it's definitely better not to accept any treats!

Keep a sharp eye out for these other fine releases from our brand new set of Little Misters, a limited edition collection from Dr. Wondertainment! Find them all and become the Brand New Mr. Collector!

00. Mr. Prologue
01. Mr. Dark
02. Mr. Remembrance
03. Mr. Toxic ✔
04. Mr. Collector
05. Mx. Voltage
06. ██. Gears
07. Mr. Memory
08. Mr. Nobody
09. Mr. Brainy
10. Ms. Seraph
11. Mr. Chronal and Mr. Dimension
12. Mr. Fish
13. Mr. Epilogue
14. Mr. Redd (Discontinued)

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